Changing classes AP and Honor to R, Eng. and Hist.

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Our son wasn't able to do all the homework required in AP and Honor classes. He couldn't find the time to study, also. We gave him a chance, since our Aspie son wanted to be in those classes, but he cannot in any way, finish all the work required in these classes. We would rather have him in Reg classes and pass than flunk out his senior year because of some false pride about being in harder classes. If anything, he needs less demanding classes because Asperger's has made it difficult for him to complete his work anywhere on time. He is 3 weeks late in English, takes him all weekend to finish history. Also, he has a math tutor for Algebra II. It's not that he can't do the work, its just that it is too much of a struggle for him to accomplish the work in AP or Honors level.

I and his father feel very badly, but our son just wasn't able to keep up even remotely. He can't whip out the work like some kids can. He is slower and precise but also, has not been honest and forthcoming about where he he stands in how much work he has and I, with being bipolar, find it difficult to understand, but I want what is best for our son and family. I get emails and notices all the time that he is flunking or nearly flunking and is way behind in the advanced courses. Today my husband went in and changed him to R in English and European History.

What I feel so bad about is that he can do quality work, but it takes way too long for him to do it and I understand that not everyone is capable of being in advanced classes, but I know somewhere, my son feels disappointed in himself. We told him that advanced classes were for very motivated students who could churn out lots of homework, and not to feel bad about it, to accept himself with whatever he needs to do, to do what's right for him, not someone he is not.The school he goes to understands the word autism, but has no idea very much, about Asperger's.

We told our son it's okay to be in regular classes, because that is what he is able to do and that he had to get his feet on the ground regarding his pluses and negatives.

Where my sister goes to high school, the general classes usually have more busy work compared to the honor classes. The honors classes have "enriching" assignments which allow you to be more creative and sometimes may be less time consuming.

When you say he takes longer, do you mean that he takes longer to start the work or do you mean once he starts he has trouble concentrating or do you mean he takes more time while completely focused on the task?

Well thats where you are, Alex. Where I when to High School, AP and Honor Classes are harder and challenging with no one to help you one bit. I did better in regular classes because I had support but it was fun at the same time.

All three and more, ...1) he hates homework of course, 2) he can't get started, 3) he is overwhelmed by the amount of homework 4) he wants more time for "himself" and doesn't want his life consumed by homework, 5) he can focus, but only if he cares to, 6) it takes him a long time to get anything done because he is always stopping, and stopping because he just doesn't want to have to do it, 7) he is dishonest with us and himself about how long, and how much work he was given on any given day, that a given assignment will take.. He had a book report in English and couldn't do anything with it, because he was busy catching up with the volume of homework he had that was late in history, so he was trying to do a 3 week book report, which he hadn't even started and we decided that enough was enough. The struggle and fighting wasn't worth it. Even with two parents trying to help him, he was unable to accomplish the work in his AP and H classes. He wanted to see if he could fool his teachers into giving him passing grades, which he didn't deserve and which he has little insite in the fact that he wasn't fooling anyone, but making an idiot out of himself by trying to deceive.

He isn't honors material as such because of this.

it's hard to let go of our expectations for our kids....we all want to see them work to their full potential. but let's be honest~i'm sure each of us know someone who's graduated from college and is working at the corner convenience store. my husband has an associates degree and a bachelors degree and he works construction................i'm not saying either of these career choices are bad, just that what should really be important is the well-being of your kid ( and based on your post, i'm sure this is your priority)................when my aspie son was little, he wanted to be a doctor. now he wants to work in the corner convenience store overnight. am i concerned about this lowering of expectations for himself ? yes....but i've learned that for our son, it's best that i support him in this endeavor. after all, 2 years ago, we were looking at a kid who didn't even want to live through the next week. let alone have a job or career or family. our priorities as parents have definitely changed. i'm thankful for every day that goes by in which there is no drama. no hospital visit. no cutting. no drawing on himself. today is a good day.who knows what tomorrow will bring ?

Thank you and I understand and know what you are talking about. Not everyone is a Bill Gates, Aspie or otherwise.

Well, I think you two as parents are BRILLIANT for getting him switched back to regular classes. Sometimes the expectations in honors and AP classes are incredibly unrealistic. I think that if regular kids are taking AP classes, they have to be 1) very good and fast at doing homework, and 2) have literally nothing else going on in their life.

Your son should NOT feel like he is "less than" for being in regular classes.

I've had this situation both ways. I have a (now 21 year old) son who was an underachieving Aspie. We suggested honors classes, but he didn't want to take them. Then, he discovered that his "regular" high school classes had too many loser, unachieving kids in them. That's the ONLY reason he decided to take AP classes (he only took two in senior year), because the level of student in the AP classes was higher. He did well in those classes because he is mildly affected, but did NOT do well in the other classes. He is typical aspie, in that he usually only does well in classes that he's interested in.

On the other hand, I have a very high-achieving NT 17 year old daughter who has received straight A's all of her life. She is very involved in church, volleyball, and has some honors (not AP) classes. She's doing less than straight A grades now, and is completely stressed out. I wish she would give up the idea of honors classes. If she would take the regular classes, her GPA would be stratospheric, and she would have a life.

I hate the idea of honors and AP classes anyway. It's just another way to separate the "haves" from the "have nots". Sometimes these classes are weirdly inflated in terms of their real effect on the student -- they're not as "advanced" as they profess to be. There is nothing wrong with doing the regular classes, and having relatively good grades, and enjoying life. We fully plan to tell our (now 11 year old) son that regular classes are the way to go.

Good luck to your son!

Kris