how do you determine if someone is an Aspie and then what?

Post Reply New Topic

I believe my 22 year old daughter is an Aspie but I don’t know for sure. I haven’t spoken to her about it yet. Any advice?

Mum

Did she show signs as a child? Did she ever get help for these things? Or are you just recognizing these things?

Lainie

Only you can know if it would be acceptable to approach her with your suspicions. If you think she would be offended, I would reconsider. Otherwise, I would recommend researching more and then sitting down with her for a nice, awkward chat.

Without knowing either of you personally, it's hard to say what would be the best approach. For now, I'd keep the focus on improving your own understanding of the condition. WP is a good place to get info, and Tony Attwood's site is also worth visiting:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/

How to proceed from there? I guess it depends on what sort of communication style you have with each other. Is she a happy camper, or does she agonise a lot? Does she talk to you about how she thinks and feels? Or is she more reserved?

You might bring up in conversation some of the resources you have been looking at, or leave a piece of reading material out in plain sight, but for now I would avoid pointing the finger at her and saying, "Aha! I finally figured out what's going on with you!"

It's a pleasure to meet another parent whose quest to better understand their child has brought them to Wrong Planet. Welcome here.

I didn’t know anything about Asperger’s syndrome until a few years ago and as I started to learn about it I immediately started making the connection. All her life, everyone believed my daughter was shy. She has always asked permission for everything she does. She avoids speaking directly to people she doesn’t know and avoids eye contact. She is very responsible. She likes to do things with her hands. She doesn’t show (or feel) empathy toward others. She talks about her interests almost compulsively and very repetitively. She had a car accident recently where she pulled out in front of a car because she had the right of way even though the car was coming. She is most comfortable with routines.

Although I spoke with her pediatrician many times, the only thing they suggested was counseling and I didn’t want to send the message to her that something was wrong so I didn’t pursue it. Well actually, I called but no one was available and I never called back.

Mum

maybe just leave it to her: don't even lead the horse to the water, get it to proximity

i remember someone on WP mentioning how a teacher had suspected and given the pupil a text assignment on AS

the pupil simply recognized

as i did not:
i was a bit slow on the uptake (not strange while downloading)

i had self-diagnosed SPD (rather than STPD) went to gp for referral on that basis; got it; than stumblesurfed through pervasiveness, happened and got stuck on some of the symptomatic descriptions; saw links and more links & connections, just missed a couple of savants and tourries, hit upon a small road sign that just jumped at me like a giant reading, shouting wrongplanet.net (& o i promise i will repair the roadsign) took the turn and

knew: yes this was R&R, yes this was 3rd rock from the sun, yes this is where i needed to be oh yes jeronimoooooh

(o & by the way, sleepy dragon you beautiful chameleon you: last Tue i've been confirmed by an orthopedic professional who is getting a co-working psychiatrist to see me asap and outside of any red tape, to get me a written prelimenary diagnosis, so i can wave the little license at enemy desks to get into the system and slowly back on feet)

Thank you all for your responses. For the first time, I feel we are going to make progress. BTW, I have two other children and also wonder what to say to them as we move through this journey.

Mum (that is what she calls me)

Hope she's okay after the accident.

I'd still hang back from saying anything to her UNLESS she expresses dissatisfaction with herself and her life: "Why am I such a klutz?" "How come nobody seems to like me?" or something along those lines. Then by all means jump right into it!

(Offtopic to oblio: )

Thanks Sleepy Dragon. I like the way you think.

Mum