self-awareness/fears?

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I'm thinking my son has a fairly good understanding about hiimself. I don't want him to go through life thinking he's strange or dumb. He's only eight, but he forced it out of me last summer and so I explained, mostly his strengths. Periodically, the topic comes up. Last night I came across of list of strengths for kids with ASD and so I was quizzing my son and he said yes to most of it. I explained that kids on the spectrum share these strengths. Then, I asked if knew what a "spectrum" was and he said "Asperger's Syndrome" so that makes me feel good.

Last night, he said his Asperger's syndrome makes him more scared and his brain is arguing back and forth with things such as acid will come out of faucette, no it won't--or, a mummy will be hiding in the shower and not that's impossible.

Any experiences similar? Or, comments?

How much self-awareness does your child have?
How much does he/she analyze his/her thought patterns? Is this typical?
Does your child have unusual fears/anxieties like this?
Is it from Aspergers or is it just typical behavior? I was always scared as a kid myself.

equinn

for a very long time, son was terrified that aliens would come and get him......we never watched anything with aliens on it, so we never could quite figure out why he was so terrified......

First off I'm not a parent, I saw this on the front page and thought I might be able to help it. I would also add I only have a vaguest idea what is it like to be a small child because 8-9 is about the fringes of what I can remember because of memory problems.

That be said I recognise some of things that you mentioned, either through ongoing concerns and what was said and written of me.

Just to avoid confusion I'm using these definitions:

Self awareness is awareness of self relative to external, including but not exclusive of spatial/physical awareness and consequences.

Self consciousness is the how much you think about things or people affecting you or you affecting people or things. 'Affectation' would be a derogatory term for this.

Self confidence is how you feel you are perceived by your peers.

Self image is you personal view of yourself excluding environments or peers.

So with those definitions I'm not using self awareness to mean the internal thoughts and anxieties. The reason why I say that I believe that problems with self awareness could result in a person being more self conscious and less autonomous outside of the comfort zone and that will impact on their self confidence which intern makes them more self conscious again and the cycle continues. Strangely it never really made any difference to my 'self image', which is probably why being teased confused and upset me and I felt it was unjustified.



What I can relate to is having plenty of racing thoughts. I think these partly gave rise to more specific anxieties, which I have dealt with but I still have an inherent/primal anxiety/thought machine.

So not all the thoughts are negative in the conventional sense but the volume and randomness of them are like an anxiety, while I might be pacing back and forth. I don't know if you would call this general anxiety or pure obsessive thoughts connected to ASD.

One nueropsychologist told me that that some social anxiety and paranoia, I had at one time, could be due to my brain working overtime and not making enough real life observations. So I think it is a good idea to encourage your child to notice different things. Trying not to dwell on them or internalize them just moving from one observation to another.


One thing that has helped me are reflections and mirrors. I feel more confident in front of a mirror. If I can seem my reflection while I'm out I'm less likely to be self conscious because I sort of know where i am and what I am doing. I know a lot of people don't feel the same way, so maybe I'm in the minority with this.

If you know what the anxiety is about like social phobia you can use conventional CBT but I still need to deal with all these thoughts that are difficult to pin down. Being able to stay focus on one thing can help and stimming may help but not necessarily. You really need something to clear you mind of thoughts. There is a type of CBT called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I haven't done it but I have tried mindfulness meditation and found it helpful in clearing my mind of thoughts. I don't have BPD, you don't need to have it to do DBT/Mindfulness but should help with any thoughts that are flooding the mind. That is the theory anyway, still need to inquire into it.

"One thing that has helped me are reflections and mirrors. I feel more confident in front of a mirror. If I can seem my reflection while I'm out I'm less likely to be self conscious because I sort of know where i am and what I am doing. I know a lot of people don't feel the same way, so maybe I'm in the minority with this.


Interesting--as if seeing yourself helps you to ground yourself, mentally, in reality. My son does have a thing fo rmirrors. I've often thought of getting him a full length--it would keep him busy for hours.

Maybe it does calm him. I've always had a thing for mirrors too--not just vanity. When I was upset, I'd look into a mirror to witness it (strange) this is when I was younger. I don't do this so much anymore. The older I get, th eless I want to look in a mirror.

Thanks for the thoughtful response--very helpful.

equinn

I think everyone is self aware, but people with AS more so. I have always been too self aware and think about things way too much. I always contradict myself and I'll be the first to admit it. I always have to tell people that what I say at the time is true, but when I contradict myself it's also true because I have thought about it more. Maybe I just have high ambivalence but I've always been this way. It really stops me from living my life.

I, too, have been told to get off the fence. I waffle way too much.

yet, when I reach a major decision like moving or school or job change (llife altering) I rarely change my mind. this drives people crazy because it doesn't seem to go with my personality.

My 9 year old has know for a long time that he is different. According to him, a few weeks before school broke up for the holidays a few of the kids took it upon them selves to tell my son that he talks to much, is very annoying, he's weird, etc, etc. Apparently J tried to tell them he couldn't help it, he was doing his best, but it is hard for him because, he has adhd or autism or something and his brain just tells him these things. This is what he told me, and this was just prior to the official aspergers dx. It even states on his speach pathology report that whilst J was participating in all assesments he did ask the tester "why is this so hard for me".
J is often seen or heard talking to himself, from my understanding of whats going on he has an internal dialog going on just about all the time. He told me one day when I was dropping him off at kindergarten that the voices in his head were saying stuff to him. I was so scared, because my mother had died just 4 months prior to J starting kindergarten and she had developed what all the doc's were calling late onset schizophenia (I cant spell sorry) I think he picked up how scared I was or I was ignoring it out of fear, because I didnt tell anyone about his "voices" until just recently.
Fear- J will often talk himself into being scared of stuff, something might start off harmless and then he adds information and talks and talks until he is terrified. All the stuff he talks about is way out there and grusome example, the undead, vampires, bats, zombies etc. He even told me just yesterday please dont kiss near his neck because he is scared of vampires. He will spend many a night fighting sleep, incase vampires or bats or zombies come. The only comfort he gets when he feels like this is to try and tell himself, something I said to him in the middle of a sleepless night " if they were true we would have heard about them (zombies etc) on the news", but I still think there is a small level of doubt and fear.
Sorry for talking to much, lol. Yes J knows he is different, he didn't need anyone to tell him this, we have pointed out all his strengths. I think the biggest thing he demands of me as his parent is to be honest with him.

sorry about your mom--but, I wonder if it was alzheimers?

My son isn't quite a scared, but he does get fixated on a scary image and it sticks for a long time. We watched goose bumps and a mummy came to life--now he is afraid a mummy is hiding in his shower.

My son talks to himself, too, sometimes. Kids don't seem to notice or pay it much mind. He's mostly confident, verbose and friendly--so, he gets along pretty well.

the fears though can be crippling as my son can't even go into his bedroom without me.

No problem.

Yes it is grounding. Like if you sent a probe to mars you would need sensors and cameras to check what it is doing as well to scan the horizon and analyze the terrain beneath.

Same when I look at a reflection it gives me feedback as to where I am and what is around me. It is not vanity (although my sister says it is ). I’m not actually sure what I look like (or what I’m supposed to look like). I look slightly different every time I look in the mirror. It isn’t just to check myself. Like on the tube before the changed the design of most of the trains I used to look down at my feet, then I made a conscientious effort to look up. But I found it hard, except I could look at the reflection in the opposite mirror because of how it was angle to the lights. That enabled me to know what I was doing and the people next to me were doing. Not clearly but it was enough to feel more grounded. It also helped occupy me so I didn’t have to worry about the gaze of the people in front of me.

I know what you mean about expressing yourself in front of the mirror, as if to witness it or experience it properly. Do you or your son play act/roll play situations in front of the mirror/ or otherwise?

Part of my random thoughts is roll playing different situations. I might bare zero connection to my life or might be loosely connected. The person I play doesn't have to be sympathetic to my views but I can experience emotion this way, which is funny because I've been having emotional blunting for a while.