Worrying in advance

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There is still nearly 3 weeks left of school hols here in Australia, and my 9yr old son J is worrying about the social aspect of school already. I really want to reassure him that everything will be ok but in all honesty he probably will have difficulties at lunch time and recesse. Of course I haven't said any of this to him, I've tried to point out and remain positive.
How do you guys deal with this? Do any of you have suggestions as to what I could perhaps sugest to his school to help him during lunchtime/ morning playtime. He really wants to play with the other kids but he doesn't understand their games and they don't understand his.
He is not a very active child, he has only just informed me that he doesnt like to go outside because the sun hurts his eyes. (not sure if he means all daylight or just extra bright sunlight or even if this is just an excuse not to leave the house and the pc) I have tried sunnies but he doesnt like them and I have since read some where that sometimes the lenses need to be not dark but orange or blue.
His gross motor skills arent great, his social skills are poor. He is a fantastic kid but, likes things done his way. ( all very typical aspie stuff from what Ive read) In his words he is into technology ie pc's,video games etc.
We will be seeing his team of doc's on the 15th so next week and they will be talking to his school when school goes back,without me for the first meeting. I would really like to make some suggestions to them regarding J's social issues before they talk to his school.
Any suggestions or ideas would be very welcome. I know I'm going to get resistance from his school on just about everything.
Thanks in advance ppls.

When my son was your son's age, and very much like my son, we had the same concerns and worries.

We received a lot of help through the speech therapist at our school. She initially helped him to learn pragmatic language skills, but at about your son's age, she began to have him invite two classmates, once a week, to her classroom. They would play for the whole class period, and she would observe and facilitate his conversational and play skills at this time. The kids would play with cars, or board games, etc. As he grew older, the speech therapist would still have him invite two classmates, once every other week, and they would eat lunch in the speech therapist's office.

Also, I asked to observe the kids at recess once. I did this so that I could not only observe my son's typical behavior at recess, but also so that I could see the other kids at play, and see what kinds of games they were playing. That way, I could work on skills with my son at home -- if they were playing dodgeball, or kickball, or wallball, etc. As the children became older (10 years), they were often playing American football, and my son couldn't do that.

I often wondered about hiring a teenage kid to work specifically with my son, to teach him skills like football, soccer, etc. I never did that, and I often wish that I had.

My son is now in middle school, and there is no recess -- so the pressure to be good at football is off. He has a strong interest in current music, and that is helping his social skills a bit. I am also very actively trying to teach him how to be funny, and/or even a little sarcastic. Having those skills really saved my older son when he was going through middle/high school.

Kris

is it possible that he could have an older kid mentor him ?.....they have a buddies program at my daughter's school. the buddies help with art projects, reading etc....an older kid is paired with a younger kid

Good advice from the others!
My son wears a cap to shade his eyes. Sun light really hurts them!

Kris, this is absolutely one of the best things you can do for your son. We worked with Z on this and he loves jokes. He is beginning to learn to laugh at himself as well, which has helped alleviate some of the teasing at school, the kids stop teasing when he laughs with them instead of getting angry because it is no longer fun.

The sarcasm is also a great idea. It forces the other kids to think about what he has said, this is often a new experience for some of them, and that has also helped stop teasing. For awhile kids were teasing Z about not having a "real" Dad. They stopped when he told them, "Yeah? Well I've got 3 Dads. 1, is God the father, 2, is my Daddy who died and is in Heaven and I got to choose my Dad now, did you?" The kids actually shut up and haven't brought the subject up again.

Aurea, Z is also very sensitive to bright sunlight, my pint-sized vampire, and I heard that amber lenses produce a soothing effect as well as dim the harshness of the light. It has seemed to help, our problem now is getting Z to remember where he left his sunglasses. Cor won't let me glue them on either.

A little worry can be a good thing, try not to let it become obsessive, then it just becomes a downpayment for bad things that haven't (and may not) happened yet. If you can figure out a way to get him not to obsess about worrying let me know it might work fo Z in another area.