pretending is hard mum

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Hi all!
I just had a talk with my son, 9 year old J, about an up coming meeting I would be having with his school and his doctors.
I explained to j that we were having this meeting to try and think of ways we could maybe help him make school a happier and better place for him. I asked him what he thought would help him or make things easier. He said and it broke my heart but clarafide my thoughts
"It is so hard pretending all the time mum, I have to pretend to be just like the other kids and I can't be me, it was better when I was in grade 2." He then went on to say, and I had a silent giggle because I already suspected as much, "dont tell Kyle, cause I do like him kinda, but I kind of use him to cause he has a really cool game cube" Kyle is another 9 year old in J's class. I didn't tell J but Kyle uses J to for J's playstation, Kyle told his mum that he is use to annoying behaviour because he has a 4 year old brother. Hmmmm, his mum told me this.
J also said that he gets a little scared when teachers change and classes change.
He said a lot more things that would help and that he had problems with, I'm glad I asked him it gives me something to work on from his perspective at this meeting next week.
cheers aurea

In my son's kinder year, he was fortunate to be put into the class taught by the most senior and best qualified of all the Infants teachers. Unfortunately from the standpoint of classroom continuity, she wore several hats (new technology, reading recovery) and was frequently called away on administrative tasks. Toward the end of the year she took some well-deserved long service leave, and my son wasn't quite as comfortable with the teacher who took the class in her absence. He didn't express this openly during school, but he'd come home and let out his frustration then.

It's great that your son is letting you know exactly what concerns him. I hope next week's meeting goes well for you.

At least your son knows how to control himself while in class... back in the day, I wasn't able to do so...

The whole pretending thing is pretty draining and there's an issue with the school system if he can't be himself.

of course, I can talk...

I pretended for my entire school life, but I changed personalities a few times. In particular, I deliberately rewrote my personality entirely to change from my 16th birthday onwards. I'm still only slowly letting real bits show through now... and I'm 38.