AS kids and agression

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We are having problems with our son sometimes pinching and hitting teachers when they ask him to do something he does not want to do (usually involves either writing, school assembly, or PE). Also, if he gets told off and feels there has been an injustice he has taken to pushing tables and chairs over in class.

Are Aspergers kids usually this agressive?

Hmmm... well I dont think I ever hit a teacher, but surely had my moments. The problem is si that it may be hard to understand how the other person feels, how others see the behavior. Its an empathy issue really. Its easy to release frustrations out, but harder to see that others will respond negativly when they see the tables and chairs being tipped over. The hitting, same thing. When I was a kid I could only see the world thru my eyes, never anyone elses, so I hit and pushed other kids, not understanding how they felt, its probably a similar issue.

they definitely can be. My son went through bouts of aggression around the ages of 12 & 13. he was so confused about so many things, and felt so badly about himself and everyone else around him. his frustration tolerance level was almost nil. the simplest things would set him off~for instance, being asked to get off the computer because it was someone else's turn..........i'm not really sure what got him out of it. could've been the medication changes, could've been therapy, could've been just about anything i guess.............i thik for us it was hard to deal with because it jsut seemed to come out of nowhere. one day i had a sweet boy, and the next it was like i hade this person i didn't even know.

We have had to deal with a lot of aggression. Some of it has been due to epilepsy and impulse control, some of it has been "intentional".
My experience is that aggession becomes a bad habit that can be hard to break without the right tools and insight into what is triggering this response.
Stress and not knowing what to expect can cause aggression, so minimalising these helps.
Social stories helped my son a lot, as it gave alternatives, and also explained how this kind of behaviour makes others feel.
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Aggression is often part of aspergers but mostly during a meltdown.

Being aggressive frequently may be a response to change or other issues.

I think he needs to be taught how to control it and what is appropriate etc... Also, perhaps the teachers could provide a bit more warning when changing activities?

I was starting to worry that maybe our son might have another disorder or something as I have been given the impression that AS kids are not usually agressive. I've always thought he has just Aspergers, but other parents I know locally with AS kids don't have this problem with agression.

Thanks for reassuring me.

Our son has never been agressive at home, but last week he flew in a rage and stormed out of the room and said he was going to pull the radiator off the wall. I don't know where this new found agression has come from. It really is a worry. He managed to bend the top of the radiator. All this fuss was over his sister being given a biscuit by a friend after school and he did not get one!

Have you read "the explosive child", about children with low frustration tolerance? When my son was at his worst, I found it very usefull.

Thanks Katrine! I have just bought a copy on ebay following your recommendation. The reviews are good for this book. Looks promising!

when hubby, who's an aspie, was in college he nearly ripped a payphone off the wall because he was mad about something~can't remember what right now.

WRITING HURTS!! ! PE HURTS!! ! ASSEMBLIES ARE LOUD!! ! I'm typing loud. Those were my big 3 in elementary school. I had some great teachers who worked hard to help. I found that playing a string instrument helped me a lot with my issues with writing(definitely the most important to overcome, I'm a songwriter now, so I found a way to do both) The guitar helped me toughen my hands a little. Soft pens help, mechanical pencils too. Wood pencils have a very hard feel to them, and the rubber sleeves are too big for little hands sometimes. Try to encourage excitement about writing, or something that gets your kids hands moving. Talk to the teacher, see what might help. I was very stubborn, and I went through a lot of trouble. One good thing that's happening now is that a lot of teachers have to start out teaching special ed, and are a lot more educated with special needs.

Also I once had a fit of anger so bad I attacked my mother(when I was 9 or 10) for making me write. I now know that my mother was a saint for putting up with it. I broke her finger(I can remember trying to make it eye for an eye, hurt hand for a hurt hand) I hope and pray that you don't have to go through those struggles. My mom never understood why writing hurt so much for me but she tried to find a doctor who could figure it out. She never could, but she did find a doctor who drugged me out of my gourd for a few years, and I learned that I had to learn to cope on my own if I didn't want to be in a stupor all the time. I am glad she tried so hard for me, and again, that woman is a SAINT! Just keep on trying, even the wrong solution can lead to the right one.
PS--I apologize for my tangents and off-kilter writing style, I am writing as truthfully as possible to how I think

Aggression has been a problem for my son. He was aggressive when he was going to public school. It started in kindergarten. When I say he was aggressive, I mean, that he was aggressive in a socially inappropriate way. It's not like he was calculated or devious in his aggression. It's more like he was having little fits. When asked to do something difficult or transition between activities, he might kick once at a teacher and run away. Or, make a swiping gesture like he was going to hit. He also had verbal outbursts. Absolutely none of those behaviors are tolerated in any way at school and they do not know how to turn it around, except to tell you to medicate your kid.

I started homeschooling and I've been working on impulse control with my son everyday. I would not describe him as physically aggressive anymore. He will still have some verbal outbursts, but every kid does. It was important to me to end this aggressive behavior while he's still young and I didn't see any other way of doing that then through homeschooling.

Aggression can be fairly common to people with autism spectrum disorders, but I do not believe their attempt is to harm others. It's a fight or flight thing.

Well, I hated PE and writing lessons when I was in primary school. It was so frustrating! I really tried and just could not accomplish it. And it gave some issues with me too.

Luckily the next year I got a diagnosis for PDD, that gave me some room to leave some activities. I also got a electronic typewriter. I still had problems, but they were less frequent after that.

I think that my reasons for being aggressive at that age, is because my peers were giving me a hard time. If any of the boys in my regular classes called me a ret*d, I'd beat them up, to prove that I wasn't ret*d.

Yeah.
But don't go looking for a cause to hard, because sometimes it's hard to find one. I'm AS, and I spent most of my life (until a few years ago) angry. And it was at unreasonable things, I knew they were unreasonable, but I couldn't do anything about it. My kid has the same problem. I take meds, and they work. He doesn't even take antibiotics if he's sick (unless you either force them down his throat or they give him a shot).

Otherwise, he controls it by just "stuffing" the anger. I don't think it works for him. It never worked for me. I did it, but it was hard. But don't confuse "aggressive" with violent. There is absolutely no reliable statistical evidence to support the violence connection....even though the schools would sometimes have you believe that there is. I don't know if he can "work it out," because he might not be doing it in response to anything that he understands himself. It's a problem. But it's not one you can always do anything about, unless you're willing to give him medication, and that has its own problems.

Not much help, but a little perspective.

Good Luck.
Beentheredonethat

My son is 5 and in mainstream kindergarten at a public school. He's had several incidents at school with hitting, kicking, biting, spitting...etc at teachers and other kids. Things have mellowed for the most part since they hired an aide for him but at the start of the year we were summoned for an emergency IEP where they labled him as "dangerous"(3.5 feet tall and 40 pounds!) We understand that he is a handful at times but they refuse to implement the techniques for avoiding major meltdowns. We cannot afford to homeschool and just cross our fingers everyday that when we pick him up he hasn't gone off the deep end. He's a sweet little boy but he's set in his ways and when control is taken from him he goes off. We were ready to medicate him when the major stuff happened in October but we decided to give him one last chance. So far, I'd say he's manageable and he seems to have gained a moderate degree of self control but loses it occasionally - usually when he's in a less structured activity. No surprise there. I think he may be ADHD as well as HFA and we may need to medicate at some point if he doesn't gain more focus and impulse control.