First ever school meeting...

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I had a call yesterday regarding a meeting that was set up with two members of J's team and the vice principle and J's new teacher. This meeting was meant to be held on about the 11th of Feb, I was told by J's team not to be there for the first meeting. I think they wanted to give the school a chance to b***h about me with out me there. Originally this meeting was only going to be with the school and one member of J's team. It seams that it changes after each time I have contact with J's team. (at last someone is listening to me, and going in to bat for J )
The meeting has been brought forward to the 7th (next week) I am now being told that his team think its important for me to be there.
The numbers attending have also changed, J's psych wants to be there to now . Wow what a meeting. The school may feel ambushed.
Not that I care that much.
J's psych was addement during my last meeting with his team that if offered a little bit of help from J's school wasn't going to be good enough, she wants 1:1 aid plus more. I am excited plus scared, you guys have all been threw this before. What should I expect? What will be asked of me if anything? Do I need to say anything? I'm very new to this and I want it right, I find the vice principle very intimidating and usually get very flustered and come off sounding like I dont know what I want, until of course I leave then the best arguments in the world are right there on the tip of my tongue. Any advice would be great, particulary from any Aussies that have been threw this already ( I say that only because our system I imagine would be pretty much the same in all states, I'm in Melbourne Australia) Is this whats called an IEP meeting? Is it normal to have most of the evaluating team present during the first meeting? Lots of questions I know and I'm very sorry, I just dont know who else to ask.

The laws are different, but it sounds very much like the IEP meetings I had. The more the school wants to jerk you around, the more professionals they will invite to the meeting.

I always got the feeling that they had a pre-meeting before they met with me. Actually, I have proof of that because they would come to the meetings with the IEP already filled out....that's against the law here because IEPs are supposed to be filled out during the meeting with the parent being a team member. HA!! !

I hope your son gets a 1:1 aide, who is good at the job. We were denied an aide several times and then when I realized that no one in our county even understands autism, I figured an aide wouldn't have helped in the end.

i write down my concerns before i go to the meeting.....this way when i get flustered ( and i always do), i'm prepared to glance at my notes & move on

They shouldn't be meeting without you! I'm glad you'll be at that meeing and really happy that your son's psychologist will be there.

I'm not sure if you're still with your sons' father. If you are still with him, I strongly recommend you take your husband/partner. My husband came - he didn't say a word during the meeting (he doesn't talk much ever!) but it was good to have his moral support, and the extra bit of manpower.

At our sons' IEP meetings they first asked me to speak - just a general chat about the boys' main problems, strengths, what I would like. Then we focused on the main areas they needed support and worked on these areas step by step.

I spent hours preparing for the IEP meeting and suggest you do the same. I had typed up heaps of notes about the boys' difficulties and what they wanted. I was not leaving that meeting until everything I'd typed had been discussed.

You definantly need to be firm ... they may try to bulldozer over you about some issues ... but if you stand firm, you'll get what you want.

I don't sign the IEP straight away. I like to think about it for a few days, just in case I've forgotten something.

Good luck!
Helen

I had no idea the IEP should not be filled out before the meeting, so the parents can add their own input, good to know as we're having our second IEP meeting later this month.

And good idea to take a few days before signing the IEP, maybe have a chance to talk to the therapist, or to remember something that hadn't been addressed.

Thank you for the information and the ideas.

Thanks for all the replies guys .
Just to clarify the school haven't called in the professionals, they are J's doctors and therapist (his autism/aspergers team). The team are anxious he gets the help and support he needs.

Could somebody please enlighten me on IEPs? I gather they are some kind of formal contract.

What is the purpose of an IEP?
Who are the parties to the contract?
How does an IEP tie-in with provision of an aide?
How does an IEP tie-in with funding?

The context in this case is a Catholic school in Victoria, Australia.

Thanks for any help!

An IEP is an Individual Education Plan. The IEP makes accomodations children with disabilities so they are not disadvantaged at school.

The minimum people that should be involved in formulating the IEP is: parents, classroom teacher, special education teacher. Others can be involved depending on the child eg Psychologist, Speech Pathologist, Occupational Therapist etc

An IEP can include an aide if required.

An IEP is required by law in Queensland. In Queensland, the child with a disability attracts an extra chunk of funding for the school specifically for your child.

Helen

I maybe wrong, but I think I heard some where that it's not as easy to get funding in a Catholic school.

Kudos to everyone for bringing this up, but IEPs should not be filled out before the meeting because that denies parental input if decisions have been made prior. If you feel it's been done, call them on it right then and there, then adjourn the meeting and call an Advocate who will come with you next time. You are not going to get a fair meeting if decisions have been made without your knowledge.

They do have pre-meetings. Lots is discussed, especially if it's a difficult and contemptous case. It actually makes things a big more organized, but decisions should not be made prior. One way to spot this is to always look at what the district suits are doing. Are they reading from their notes? Are they all in agreement without listening to you? If you suspect it, ask them, "Has a decision been made without my knowledge?"

Also, here's another tactic we use. We don't let all the district people and principal sit together. My wife will sit in between them, so it makes it harder for them to ambush us because they have to talk across the table or around another person to see her. We get there early and make sure that when they group up together, we each place our chairs so that we separate them. It sounds stupid, but what you normally get are the district folks on one end, teachers on another, therapist on another and parents at the opposite end of the table feeling ambushed. We sit close to them so we can hear if they whisper to each other and sometimes see what they've written down.

Don't sign anything until you're 100% satisfied. But, keep in mind that an IEP Agreement does have time limits. They can actually file a complaint against you if it's not signed within a given time frame. I think it's like 30 days. So, find out what that is and comply.

Our services are actually pretty cool and we normally get what we ask for, but that doesn't mean they don't play games with us when they feel it's in their best interest. We've had some heated meetings. I try to be reasonable, but my wife will slam them in a second. They don't like her.

Happy to say that I just had a very satisfying Program Support Meeting at my son's school.

It seems we're all on the same page & pulling in the same direction, to mix some metaphors. They listened and took on board our suggestions and concerns! We even shared some Aspergers resources that we'd taken along.

Now I'll just make sure the minutes reflect what was said, and keep on watching.