One thing I'm wondering about

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In this forum I see again and again parents saying something like "He needs to do this" and admitting that it has to be done and can't be changed/adapted. However, elsewhere on the site when an aspie says "I need to do this" they are told they must change.

While in some cases they really will need to change in order to live freely in society, why is it only something that can't be changed done if someone else realizes it. Why does being able to realize something about yourself automatically mean you are capable of changing? I should think someone could have something that has to be done for them and be able to recognize that that is the case. Especially if its pointed out to them exactly what that thing is, and how they are much calmer when it happens, by others.

i think some people are not as capable of taking a magnifying glass to themselves and looking at their own shortcomings. i think for some people it's far easier to point out what someone else needs to change, than reflect about what they could change about themselves or how hard change is...............i realize that change is difficult. even more so for my aspies.

I think most people have the capacity for change. I just think for some people it is exceptionally difficult (self included).

People have to be able to see that it is worth their while to change their behaviour and yes, it's not always possible for us to change some behaviours eg. recoiling and getting distressed at loud noises.

I know what this is like, I usually try to view myself from a detatched, emotionless, opinionless position. I know what is wrong with me, what my shortcomings are, and even what I could do to change it sometimes, but there is a huge difference between this and actaully being ABLE to change it.