New here- do I fit in?

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I'm a mama to a girl who I'm suspecting has some sort of mild ASD. I'm not sure what to exactly classify her as, but I don't really need a label, just a few pointers of how to be a good mama Do I belong here? I'm looking for a place who is friendly with family treatment (I'm NOT a big fan of state programs or mainstream medicine). I'd prefer to work with her on my own, along with the help of a naturopath as needed. We're going to try a GFCF diet next month (moving this month).

Thanks! Just feeling out the board and seeing if I fit

Welcome to WP!

Dear HannasMama:

I found it very helpful to have a neuropsychological evaluation. That eval, even though it is mainstream, helped define my personal problem areas. The spectrum is very broad and those annoying tests helped show my gaps. The nueropsychologist made some recommendations for improving communication techniques, coping techniques, and we had a laugh about my career choice (it's perfect for my style of Aspie). I then took my diagnosis to a distinctly not mainstream physiologist who prescribed Wii therapy (really!) to help with visual/spacial coordination and physical therapy to improve my brain/body interface. In less than a year of PT, both my husband and I have noticed a clear difference in my motor skills. Not walking into walls makes me less self-conscious, and has indirectly improved my mood. I'm still weird, but it's nice to have a little help now and then.

PM me if you want to know exactly who/where I had my evals and did my therapy.

-Anne

Welcome! How old is your daughter? I resisted getting an evaulation for my son. I knew he was different and I figured it was ASD, but saw no need to "label" him. Kindergarten without an IEP was a disaster. It took another 1.5 years to get a diagnosis. Public school was a wash and I started homeschooling.

Hi and welcome!
WP is a great place were there are all different kinds of people, and all kinds of different kids.
One of the good things about being here is that it makes you realise that none of our children are the same, and that different approaches work in different families.

I'm the mother of a 9yo with HFA and ADHD. We took the natural path for a long time, so I'm open to it, although we have found that our son needs medication for his ADHD among other things.

We tried the GFCF diet, but unfortunately it didn't help our son. It does hekp some kids, so it's worth trying.

some of us here are anti-meds, some are pro-meds.....some of us prefer homeschooling, some of us prefer public/private education......some of us are SAHMs, some of us work PT, some of us work FT.............generally speaking most everyone here is respectful of differences, & offers good advice. offers a perspective you may never have even considered.

be aware that some people who post on here have AS. My husband is aspie, and posts on WP sometimes......Sometimes he can be rather blunt. he doesn't mean to offend. but sometimes that's what happens.....

welcome!

Thanks! I've gotten railed on some boards for different things, so I generally try to test the waters before I jump in :) I'll not be offended by bluntness :)

Here's where we're at: She's 18 months and doesn't use words in context, doesn't understand simple directions like 'bring that book here', doesn't point (well, she does, but it's just to see her own finger and match it with mine like ET :lol: ) doesn't look where I point, only makes fleeting eye contact but does watch people's mouthes when they talk. She is affectionate and loves to be carried in the sling or back pack, still breastfeeds, and sleeps with us. She seems to not care much if I'm in the room with her or not, but I left her in the car once with my friend (an adult, I'm not being neglectful :) ) to go pay for gas, and she cried when she thought she was being left, so I guess she's somewhat attached to me. She loves new people, especially loud dramatic people or men with deep voices.

She doesn't walk, but she seems to just be on her own time schedule for those milestones, she sat and crawled late too. She 'cruises' by walking around on furniture so the walking bit doesn't bother me.

We'll homeschool without a doubt, so I don't really *need* a diagnosis for anyone else or for an IEP or anything.

I'm mostly looking for tips for how to help her learn better. A friend told me that being super repetitive and making a conscious point to teach her things is the way to go, even with words. For example, hold her shoes and repeat 'shoes' many many times. She 'gets' things that we do the exact same way every day, if her shoe comes off then she lays it on top of her foot. If I didn't replace her pants after changing her diaper, she'll lay them on top of her legs. She mimics us using eating a spoon and fork, etc.

I think with the language, if I'm more... what's the word... obvious in when I say things, and say it more than in the regular context, she'll be able to understand better. I taught her to say 'mama' by repeating it a zillion times a day, and she says it now, but not in context.

She does use one 'sign' of her own, she'll pat me when she wants to nurse. We communicate very well, but I think that's mostly due to her predictable nature and I'm just able to guess right.

I guess I've always realized that she's been a little different and worked on giving her what I felt she needed instead of what was supposed to be appropriate for her age. I let her sleep with us, I'm not in a hurry to wean her, and I don't leave her with anyone (because I'm nervous that they'd get frustrated with her and yell or 'discipline' in a way that she was getting disciplined for something she didn't understand). I do require her to listen to the things that I know she knows, though, like she understands 'no touching' and 'keep your food on your tray'

So that's us for what I can think of right now :)

Edited to add: She's not vaccinated, and we certainly don't plan on doing that.

Last edited by HannahsMama on 03 Apr 2008, 4:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

She sounds like a beautiful toddler!

You know what my son's pediatrician said to me when I asked about sensory disorders, when my son was in preschool? He said, something along the lines of, "who needs it, none of the treatments have been proven to work, and if you are paying attention to your child, you'll help him through it better than anyone else can." Now, sensory issues are only the tip of the ice berg when it comes to everything connected to ASD, but I've never forgotten his advice: pay attention to your child.

This, the single most important thing, you seem to be doing.

I did not have any of the early developmental issues you are facing, so I don't have any suggestions there. But I will say that if your child is on the spectrum, you are likely to discover that she experiences sound, sight, touch, and taste very differently from the rest of us, and may have difficulty processing the sensory input she receives. If you have behavior issues, look backwards for triggers, things that may be stressing your child. And remember: just because a child is attracted to something, and finds it pleasurable at first, does not mean it is actually good for her, or that she can handle it.

The more comfortable she is in her environment, the more ready she will be to learn.

And, also, children are often learning while doing things we think of as useless, or as play. So, tune into that as well.

Mostly, she's only 18 months! Things can change in a second. ENJOY HER, and enjoy every moment together. Not that you need me to tell you that, but, hey, it never hurts to be reminded!

Thanks! That's kind of what I was thinking, it seems almost that if I 'turned her over' to early intervention, she'd become somewhat of an experiment for them. That really bothers me, so I'm just keeping her home with me. That's not to say it's wrong to get help, just saying that it feels really wrong for my family.


Thanks for the tips. One thing she really likes is music, she kind of dances around to it, it's adorable She'd really like to eat dog food too, but I don't allow that She does react really horribly to food dyes, so I'm militant about keeping those out of her diet. She gets overstimulated in some situations, but I can usually tell when that's going to happen. It's not as much now as it was when she was smaller.


Good point. Have you heard of the Waldorf method of schooling? It really emphasizes play and simple calm surroundings, and routine. I worked in a Waldorf preschool for a while, and I plan on setting the early years of our 'schooling' up to be a lot like that.



Exactly! That's why I don't want to rush her into a bunch of programs and testing and stuff.

I would recommend that you have her evaluated for speech therapy through your local birth through 3 program. My son only had 1 word at age 24 months and with 1 hour of therapy, one time per week, he caught up a lot by age 36 months. I look back on that time and I realize that the language therapy was crucial as he showed no interest in talking.

Welcome to WP!

I have 3 sons aged 9, 8 and 4. My 9 and 8 year old sons have been diagnosed with Asperger's.

I'm 99% sure my 4 year is Aspie too - I'll seek diagnosis later this year or early next year. For now, our house is perfectly structured for Aspies so I don't feel the need to urgently get him diagnosed.

I agree with Tortuga's post about Speech Therapy. My older 2 sons had Speech Therapy and they improved rapidly.

I'll post more later. Got to get the sons off to school.

Helen

regardless of whether or not you decide to keep your child home, you should look into what local services she might qualify for...speech, language, OT, PT can all be valuable services that can help your child progress .