13yo son- exposing himself??

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I keep finding my 13yo son with his pants down in his bedroom - facing his window with the blinds open. Both my husband and I have tried to be sensitive by explaining that his desire to touch/explore his penis is not wrong, but doing that with his door open and in front of the window is very inappropriate. We discussed how his 10yo sister and other visiting family members could see him doing this - and that it is a very private thing to do. Yikes!! Any other advice as to how to deal with this? We don't want to make it a HUGE deal by drawing too much attention to it, but at the same time he CAN"T be exposing himself to the neighbors through his bedroom window. When I ask him why he does it with the door open and in front of the window, he says he is afraid to be alone - so he leaves the door open. I am not buying it. HELP ! !

Are you saying that he has continued to do it after you told him not to?

At 13 this is a bit worrying if he was 3 I wouldn't think anything of it.

now that you've explained it to him, explain what consequences you have planned if he does not find a more private place to do this ( and you'll probably have to help him figure out what a more private, acceptable place would be)..........no one wants to make him feel bad for this, but he seems to need your help learning boundaries. far better he learns it now than when he's older and on his own

Like most things with our ds, it seems he always acts out of impulse, with no consideration of past experience or future consequences - this has happened before, and my dh spoke with him about it. I must admit I believe when I spoke w/ds that I probably did a better job - more concrete and not alot of fluff - just the facts. I guess I'll have to wait and see if it had any effect. Thanks for your posts!

what is ds?
what is dh?

Dear Son/Husband.

My children always want to know 'why' for some rules they don't understand.

They wanted to drive without their seatbelts with their heads sticking out the window (they love feeling the wind in their hair). I explained over and over again that it was dangerous. They argued and argued.

In the end I said, 'If a policeman sees you driving like that they'll put you in jail because it's again the law'. There were no more arguments.

Maybe you could try bluntly tell your son that if a policeman sees what he is doing he will be arrested.

My 9 year old son is also scared to be alone, but he finds playing music in his room comforting. Would music help your son?

Helen

aspies have a lot of problems understanding sexuality and punishing him or chastising him wont help. I still have memories of thing i did as a younger person that weren't probably acceptable to NTs. Maybe try talking to him about it but keep in mind he isnt 13 probably more like 9 emotionally.