"Hard to say no to your kids". Why?

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I've read in numerous parenting books out of curiosity (I'm not a parent myself), and a lot of them say that it's hard to say no to your kids. When I first read it, I balked: "give me a break!". What's the reason; I just don't get it? The "hard to say no" concept hold true in many situations. It's hard to say no to your boss, because it might compromise your job security. It's hard to say no to your friends, because you might worry about losing the friendship. It's hard to say no to your parents, because you don't want to make them mad (risking repercussions for yourself). But why is it hard to say no to one's kids? After all, parents have absolute power over their kids, and there are no real consequences if the parent says no! Even if the kid gets upset, it's not like there'll be repercussions for the parent (except a tantrum or something).

OK, I realize I'm starting to sound like some nut. But that's not the case. I just want to understand how it can be hard to say no to someone you have absolute power over, both legal and social. For instance, if a child asks for a box of Fruit Roll-ups, the parent's decision is always final, and both the parent and the child know it. But in the light of that, where did the concept of "hard to say no to your kids" originate? I'm not pointing fingers at anyone; I just want understand how it can possibly be hard to say no to someone you have power over. Thanks in advance. Despite not being a parent myself, I'd like some input from parents. But please be more specific than "because I love my child". Thanks in advance.

Times when it is hard to say no come when you aren't sure if "no" is the best or most helpful thing. Like your child asking for a particular treat or toy that is affordable. Sometimes we think nothing of buying our own "toys" but when our children ask for stuff we worry they are spoiled.
Parents shouldn't have "absolute power" over kids. Power struggles are dangerous and don't teach kids (especially autistic kids) about "why" things are done a certain way and how to self-manage. Some of the most out of control people I knew were from very strict homes where their every move was controlled and scrutinized. My own parents had some bizarre rules that I will never understand or respect. (they're bigots and hypocrites)

So, saying no is always a loaded response to requests. Your reasons need to make sense and set an example. There is also a generational quest to "make your child's life better" or easier. So, we often strive to buy our kids things that we never got or couldn't afford. Sometimes that's okay and sometimes that's too much. My husband thinks I let my son eat too many sweets, but he doesn't eat nearly what I was given as a kid. I have a hard time saying no because I loved sweets (and was given really junky stuff). I give my son better versions of what I had (Hostess and Kool aid) so I feel like homemade treats are okay.

Like I mentioned about the "out of control" people above, there are indeed consequences of saying no and being some kind of dictator. Knowing the balance is the trick. And we can't always be perfect.

No repercussions?! !! !!
No repercussions????????
There are always repercussions, whether you say yes or no to your kids.
Total control? I've never known anyone to have total control over someone else. But then, I haven't been around too many totally disfunctional families. A Child Named It describes total control, but I've never had any experience like that. Did your parents totally control you?

i totally agree with KimJ, it's a matter of balance and reasons for the yes or no or the circumstances surrounding the answers as much as consistency is a good thing, at home my kids have to eat their supper before they get their dessert, but at a birthday party they can just eat the hot dog without the bun or whatever and still have the cake. not saying my parenting style is ideal because it is not, far from it.
Parenting is a constant struggle to re-evaluate what works and why so even yes or no can have huge consequences. the goal is to have a healthy respectful realtionship, where yes the parent is in charge and ultimately has the final say but also where there is room for some democracy, or else it will build resentment and secrets.
and like KimJ says the reason for the no has to be explained and "because I said so" or "just because" isn't going to work for long.
and for those of us who have weaker moments in our life sometimes giving in is easier thatn the fight to enforce something when we're just too tired to fight any more

What repercussions!? If you often say no to your boss, he/she might fire you, not promote you, or simply be less accommodating for time off requests. If you often say no to your friends, they might be less willing to spend time with you. If you say often no to your family, they might stop talking to you. But if you say no to your kids, there's very little they can do to balance the power (maybe tantrums, crying, etc, but that's about it). Whether the kids want get a pet, eat candy before dinner, go to a slumber party, or change their haircut, if the parents are opposed, guess what? They can easily say no, and not worry about anything, no matter how upset the kids are by their decision. Harsh but true.

Now, let's look at US laws. Children must reside in a parents' or guardians' home until they turn 18 (excluding emancipation and such). And if they live under their roof, they have to follow the rules whether they like it or not. If the kids to run away, the police will find them and bring them back home. As you can see, parents have a complete advantage of power. So having the power, why would it be hard to say no? It's not like kids can refuse to give their parents a promotion, find another place to live, stop talking to them (not counting teenagers for this one), or whatever. Again, parents have a strong power advantage here. Sadly, many don't even realize it.

Did my parents totally control me? Yes, under the pretext of it being for my own good! Maybe they believed it, but I sure didn't see it that way. But let's not get too off-topic. I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around why it's hard to say no to someone who has to live by your rules.

You seem to be on your own agenda as I gave some very realistic reasons why it can be hard to say no. I don't really know what you want to hear or if you even want a conversation about it. Parent cannot be dictators all the time and have well adjusted kids. It might be easy for some parents to just say no at their whim or because of their "beliefs" but it doesn't make it right or good for the kid.
Like I said, kids that were controlled by their parents and had no say-so, often ended up with self-management problems.

Saying no to one child meant listening to her whine for several hours. Saying no to another child meant listening to sarcasm and debate for the next few weeks. Saying no to the child with autism plus meant being assaulted and screaming and holes in walls and broken belongings etc. I still have scars. One does wear down.
Also, because we like our kids, most of us, most of them, we want to please them. And as Kimj so accurately explained, it's a balancing act between pleasing them and doing what is right for them.

Saying no to a young child results in:
* tantrums
* violence
* failure to eat / drink / toilet
* tears and sad faces (you do feel guilty for saying 'no'... well, sometimes)
* vomit (I'm not kidding - excessive screaming has literally made my kids sick, and I know others that can do it 'on command').
* you feeling bad, if it's over a petty thing

It also changes with age. To an older child, saying "no" may well lead to the child taking the opposite action, rebelling against your authority. Then you have to deal with all sorts of other problems (eg. drug usage).

You have to do it sometimes, but you also 'have' to say "yes", sometimes.