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ALL4VLADI
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29 Sep 2005, 4:15 pm

I am very happy to find a active board for those of us with Aspergers kids.

I have a son who is in between diagnosis of high function Autism & Aspergers. I would like him to be diagnosed with the correct one however I am afraid of a Aspergers diagnosis. A ASpergers diagnosi would mean little to no help from the regional or other public services and I have no money to provide any different. I have recently stopped working because I want to figure out what is best for my son and fighting for some clarity on this.

My Son never had a speech delay the only signs I can think of that may have to do with this are the following:when Vladi was between 1-3 y/o he used to bang his head on the wall & floor on a daily basis he also would run around in circles. He also had some type of weird seizures. He wouls stare blankly and wouls not answer when called, then he would blink rapidly and then was all better. At that time I had no insurance so the neurologist I worked for saw him (no chart or anything) and told me he thought it was some type of small seizures? I can't remember the name he gave me. He eventually outgrew them and that was that. Do you think this would have anything to do with Vladi now?

Vladi is very clumsy and his gait is very poor, I asked the psych and he said he has never heard of PDD or Aspergers causing any of these. Vladi is 10 y/o plays chess, writes stories loves math but can't tie his shoes? why? His socail skills & organizational skills are very poor.

I am so frustrated right now! I have no support from my family as I told my mother (she lives with us) and all she does is blame me and cry! that does not help. My husband just goes along with what I say and I told my oldest brother and he said "ohh so he's ret*d?" ugh!


Also as I was recalling



vetivert
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29 Sep 2005, 4:23 pm

all4vladi, welcome to WP. :)

there are plenty of parents on this forum who give brilliant advice, and loads of people willing to give support all over WP.

hope you find something to help.

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BeeBee
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29 Sep 2005, 4:34 pm

Welcome!

If i may ask what country you are located in? It would help becuse different countries have different "rules" for offering services.

Quote:
Vladi is very clumsy and his gait is very poor, I asked the psych and he said he has never heard of PDD or Aspergers causing any of these.


Well, maybe not caused but clumsy and odd gait is common with ASDs. He should have either explained that or looked for a cause, huh?! How frustrating for you.

Family often doesn't understand. That hurts.

Again, welcome.

BeeBee



ALL4VLADI
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29 Sep 2005, 4:37 pm

Hi BeeBee

I live in Los Angeles, California. Yes, it really hurts to know my son & I are in this alone..... :(



BeeBee
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29 Sep 2005, 4:44 pm

((gentle hugs to you))

You are not alone anymore. We care.

How is Vladi doing in school? Are they providing they services you think he needs for school?

BeeBee



ALL4VLADI
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29 Sep 2005, 5:00 pm

Vladi is in GATE classes, he always has been....however few teachers have ever undesrtood him. We just found out this summer that he has some form of Autism. I explained this to him. I told him that he was being tested so we could find ways to help him. He knows he is smart so I told him for some reason his intellectual sized is overdeveloped and his social (making friends...)was underdeveloped. I told him he is lucky because what does not come naturally to him can be learned.

We are still between diagnosis but the most probable is Aspergers which is GOOD! but not good for services.... I spoke to the school Psych. and he said he will push his evaluation as Vladis teacher is requesting a aide for him....he always does his homework yet forgets to turn it in and his organizational skills are horrible! this makes him a bother to his teacher or that is how I look at it. I get a phone call from her ALMOST daily! where Vladi did not turn in a assignment that I know he did. She even complained about Vladi reading a 146 page book in 45minutes! she doubted him, I told her he has been reading 800 page harry potter books & the such since 2nd grade those 146 page Judy blume books are Cake to him. Friends at school....he has a few, 1 is a child who has a brother with autism so he is great toVladi the other I am sure his mom tells him to be nice to Vladi because I take him to school since she can't but other than that he gets picked on ALOT! he cries soo much and very easily...it breaks my heart. :cry:



yealc
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29 Sep 2005, 5:03 pm

Welcome,

You are not alone there are many of us here with AS and/or with AS kids. LA actually has a lot of awarness in their school system about AS (I have a friend there with an AS kid).

Hope that this site helps you and that you don't feel so isolated anymore. Family can be some of the worst critics and that hurts but remember they are only human.

Y


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29 Sep 2005, 6:53 pm

Hi, it looks like your son has all the typical signs of AS. I don't understand why this would not quailfy him for services. My son has an IEP and is recieving assistance as needed and we are in a small town in Alabama. Look for a local AS HFA support group in your area. They can be a big help to you because they already know the rights that should be afforded you son. Call them and talk to them, I know they will help. As far as the school goes, most school will offer you what they alredy have in place ie SPeech THerapy Occupational therapy etc. if he needs more you have to get it for him. Once you have the dx in hand an Individual education plan must be prepared for him. Schools receive alot of money to help our children they do not do it out of the goodness of their hearts. His acess to an appropriate education is a right not a gift.
P.S. Read the please help my son thread there is alot of good advice there. I wish you the best.



RowanMoonWynd
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29 Sep 2005, 8:09 pm

Hi! You are so not alone in this! Your son sounds alot like my son, but there is hope and things will get better! I may have missed, but how old is your son? Mine is 14 and we just found out he has AS this past May.

We have him on state medical aid because of his disability, so they pay for all of his medical care and his wrap around services, but here in Pa. they have to be on state aid in order to receive the services that are being provided to him. Ask and see if they have wrap around serives in your state. My son has a TSS and a BT that work with him at school and here at home also.

I wish you all the best! If you need to vent or cry or shout with frusteration for whatever reason, I have big shoulders!!

Rowan ~

OH, and if you read the please help me help my son thread, you'll see how much your son has in common with my son, and there are some wonderful advice that was given to me! Maybe some of it can help you also. I hope so for you and your son!



29 Sep 2005, 8:21 pm

Thanks Ladies!

Rowan~ my son is 10 y/o, I have a question, how does your son feel about having an aide? It worries me that he will feel even more alienated...



RowanMoonWynd
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29 Sep 2005, 8:30 pm

At first he didn't want one, was embarrassed to have someone "follow him around", but it turned out to be a good thing for him. She just observes him and if he gets off task and has to be redirected, she will quietly get his attention back on track again. She sits near him so the class is not disrupted. The teachers don't call attention to the fact that he has an aide, so the kids in his class don't really pay much attention to it. I was worried about the same thing you were, that the kids were going to make fun of him, he was going to have a harder time of it than he has before (if that's even possible, kids have ALWAYS picked on him and made fun of him) but it turned out that it wasn't anything like that. At the beginning of the school year, the counselors showed a film to his whole 8th grade class about AS and what it is like to have it, from the point of view with someone who has AS, and the kids really enjoyed the film and it helped them understand. I did not want it pointed out that my son has AS, the kids were told that there were some students in school with AS, and to help them understand and be compassionate, they wanted to show that film to them. So far everything has been fine.



ALL4VLADI
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29 Sep 2005, 8:33 pm

ohh that sounds great! one more question :oops:

How is your sons gait?



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29 Sep 2005, 8:41 pm

Oh my! He is very, very slow, and walks heavy if that makes any sense. He just looks like he is weighted down with so much of something when he walks. He is always the last student out of the building at the end of the day (I found that out today by his IEP teacher) and he always walks with his head down, looking down at the ground. He won't make eye contact with anyone.



ALL4VLADI
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29 Sep 2005, 8:46 pm

OMG! that is soo Vladi!! he is always the last out! and he walks very slow & stiff, ohh and he stick his right foot outward when he walks.



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29 Sep 2005, 9:29 pm

Your son sounds a lot like I was in elementary and middle school. It seems like his one good friend is a very good friend. I have a friend who has an older brother with AS, so she's understanding about what I need.

What is wrong with reading 800-page books? Many school teachers have to force their children to read, not have them read freely on their own. Has Vladi been tested for hyperlexia? That might be a possibility because people with hyperlexia (I'm suspicious that I may be hyperlexic) tend to read earlier than other children to and have an easier time with language (especially written).

The way I view AS is that it is a gift. Such gifts do not come without certain sacrifices. I am gifted in certain areas, but have sacrificed most of my social skills as a result. Social skills can be fairly easily learned through the years, though, especially from NT (neuro-typical) kids who are aware of AS, like his friend with the autistic brother. :)


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ALL4VLADI
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29 Sep 2005, 10:49 pm

Thank you soo much for your input Namiko!
Yes, Vladi began reading at a very young age....before kindergarten. I think what happens is his teacher did not believe he could read 145 pages in 45 minutes, but he can. Vladi has always scored in the top 3% in the states Cat 6 both in math and in English. This year his English score was higher since he was able to write freely. I had never heard of Hyper I can't remeber the spelling but I will look into it. Thanks so much! :D