how best to get info out of son's aide.

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Hi everyone!!

I have a question now about the best way to increase communication between my son's aide and myself.

She's with him for approx 10 hours a week. At first we used a 'communication book' to relay info, but not only was I doing most of the writing , she wasn't telling me the things I really wanted to know, such as how was his concentration during writing, how he's going at maths, etc. It has been suggested to me that the only things she will write about and that I should write, is if my son had a bad day or is unwell or something like that.

It is virtually impossible to arrange a meeting time with her, because when she's not with my son, she's at another school. Also I get the distinct impression that she'd rather do anything than have a meeting with me!

I would love some advice on how to approach this situation. I don't want to increase her workload, (that has also been suggested), but I do want to more info than what I'm getting. Or is that expecting too much?

Thanks for any suggestions!
Temma

Have a chat with your son's teacher not the aide. He/She might be able to fill in blanks.

To me it looks like the aide is not doing her job properly. It might take her maybe 10 minutes to write a brief run down of how your son has been, good or otherwise but at least the lines of communication would be open. She should be letting you know of any upsets or progress or things to keep an eye on.

in some school systems, administraters request that only teachers write in daily communication logs.....aides get in trouble for doing so.....on another note, it's possible that you aren't being concrete enough with your questions. for instance, instead of asking how your son's day was, try asking: what did my son have difficulty with today?

Ask the teacher, ask the principal, ask the special ed supervisor/administrator. Ask the next administrator up the ladder.

Verbal communication is ok, but always e-mail or write a follow-up letter with a "thank you" (if it is appropriate) and a summary of the conversation. Keep copies of everything.

Start a log for yourself with dates, phone calls, requests, etc. and the responses you received. Keep everything in writing.

Don't give up. I don't think it is always necessary to be nasty, but persistence and professionalism make a statement.

Yes, I've been battling for a while.

I have had difficulties getting feedback in the past few months. The advocate I spoke to recently confirmed I was being "managed." I'm back to the battle this week...again.

There may be a state or county agency/group with advocates that you could talk to and get more strategy ideas, as well as better information on your rights.

Good luck!

Unpopular opinion alert!

We find communication logs problematic for both the parents and the school staff. They usually don't understand, no matter how many times you explain with precise language, exactly what they are supposed to write. That's because they don't understand what they are supposed to be looking for. They will write about "events" but not triggers or patterns of behavior or significant changes in schedules.

At one school, we specifically told them to inform Pop if there would be a student change (new or leaving classmates) because it really disturbs him. Okay? So, one day he has a really awful day, no one knows why. I asked the aide several times over the course of 20 minutes if there had been any changes, "No, there weren't". Finally, grabbing at straws, I asked, "was there a new student?"
"Yes, in fact there was a new student and one classmate's last day was today".

We finally did away with the logs in favor of "progress reports" in email. Less frustrating for all. I would explain precisely what you are looking for with your son. Also, add any goals that you have.
"did he require prompting?" "about how long did it take him?" "did he act upset?" "How is encouraged/redirected?"

Another problem, like Ster says, is that aides aren't able to write in logs because they aren't trained to look for specific information. It's frustrating because they're the ones with your son, but they mostly aren't trained in autism or even early childhood development. Then if the "teacher" writes, it's second-hand information and likely unhelpful.

Thanks for your replies everyone, much appreciated!

I'm going to write an emai to the VP, as well as speak to the classroom teacher and ask what the best way would be for me to be kept informed of my son's progress, and I'll see what suggestions they come up with. I think the aide doesn't like me very much because I've stepped in quite a few times with observations and suggestions, so maybe she feels that I'm interfering.

I realise now that I haven't been clear enough in my expectations, or insistent enough. The VP awhile ago sort of warned me off from having much communication with the aide, so this is going to be fun!

KimJ and Ster, you summed the situation up perfectly! When the aide used to write a few lines, (in 8 weeks she has written 6 entries but doesn't write anything these days), she only wrote about events. And she has no idea what to look for.

How often would you receive the progress reports?

LCMom, thanks for reminding me about email and I hope your battle goes well too.

Mum2ASDboy - I know, I feel the same, I'm glad that others have agreed with me.

Temma

We're supposed to get progress reports 1 or 2 times a month. But there is so much confusion that I'm getting these halfway reports every week, but they still aren't what I want. But it's better than what we were getting before (nothing).

We have a communication log in his backpack, we meet once a month to go over things, we do email sometimes, I also get a newsletter of what songs they sang, what his "job" was and a brief explanation on what they did that day (every parent gets this newsletter) my son does not really talk so this is very helpful, and everyday when I pick him up, he is usually with his aide or teacher and I ask how everything was that day. I think open communicaton is VERY important. I am always encourage to call if I have a problem They need to figure out a way to work with you!! Let us know what happens. Good luck.

Here is an update!

Last Friday I bumped into the aide in the school corridor, (not literally), and I decided to do a CCE (Casual Corridor Encounter - an informal conervsation).

I made sure I was being polite and friendly and said, ' hi, how are you?', blah blah blah, and then I asked how my son was going at maths. She snapped, 'what do you mean?'. Hmm. I tried again and asked how he was going at adding up.

She answered by imitating what my son does when he's distracted, then said he's plodding along and I worry too much, and if I want to know anything, go and ask the teacher and she walked off.



So what I've done is write out a list, (a nice, long list), of my expectations for her regarding what I would like to see in her diary entries, and I emailed my letter to the P, the VP, the speechie and the OT. I also printed it out and gave a copy to the class teacher to give to the aide. (Who hasn't been at school for the past two days).

I'll let you know what happens. Thanks everyone for being so supportive and giving me lots of great advice - I really appreciate it.

Temma

I think that is great. I hope they FINALLY get it!! Good luck.

I dunno if he belongs in school if he needs an aide. Maybe he'd be happier at home. Easier, sine he's right there and you can get info on him firsthand... because he's right there.