Homework

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How do you get your Aspies to do their homework? Some nights (if my son is having a good day) he will whip through it no problem. Other days he will sit with the same sheet in front of him and do nothing. We have tried rewards and taking things away (tv, computer, etc) if he doesn't get it done. None of it seems to work!

we bribe with M&Ms but he is still in 1st grade so it is easy to get away with. Also, I break it up for him, have him do one part and then he gets a 5 minute break, and so on.


Where in KY are you?? I'm in Bowling Green

I have tried breaks but if it's a bad day he can't even complete the 1st page. We are in Lexington.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, here. LOL! Our experience is that rewards and punishments only create more anxiety and stress in the household. They really don't get any more homework done (less, if anything). So we don't do that. We sometimes talk to our son about why he isn't doing certain homework - he has, at times, been incredibly insightful about it. If the problem is that the homework is boring (25 of the same kind of math problem is, after all, stupid: if the child knows how to do it, he doesn't need the repetition; if he doesn't, doing the same thing wrong over and over is frustrating and will only reinforce the wrong thing!), we got the homework modified. If it's that his hand hurts from writing, we used alternatives like dictation, computer, or (again) modifying the amount of homework. Sometimes, though, he just isn't going to do the homework. Luckily, he's in a school that understands that.

Sometimes the problem has nothing to do with the homework itself, but with the child's internal "stuff." If it's been a tough day - too much stimulation, kids teasing/bullying him, lots of energy exerted just to keep it together - there's nothing left for homework when he gets home. It may be that no homework can happen at all, or it may be that he needs to be able to jump on a trampoline, swing, or something to get centered before he can do anything like that.

I realize that I'm in a small minority here, but I think it's more important to work with the school to make it okay for him to do only the homework he can handle than it is to make him and the whole family crazy trying to get him to do something he won't do. As we all know, he will sit there for much longer than it would take to complete the homework, and do nothing, rather than do the homework. I haven't figured out exactly why this happens, but I know it's not something my son does just to be oppositional. He can't help it. Since he can't help it, and the homework won't get done, we can either have a pleasant family life and accept it, or we can all become lunatics trying to make him do something that will never get done!

how old is he, and do you have anything about homework in your IEP?

(I'd give you more advice but I bleed Cardinal red!----just kidding!! !)
(about the advice, not the UL part)

My son doesn't go to school, he homeschools. He does a correspondence course in order to avoid the other homeschooling option here in France, which is unpredictable visits by inspectors to test him. He only does the work which is assessed, none of the practice exercises, the textbook reading etc.

We sit down to do the homework for about an hour and a half four times a week, and sometimes it is very hard. Sometimes we talk about why he has to do it, remind ourselves of what the other options are ( school or inspections), and get started on it.

Sometimes it is very difficult even then. In which case I do absolutely as much of it as I can; after all if I had had a child in the UK he wouldn't even have to do this amount of national curriculum imposed work for homeschool.

And those times that he really isn't able to get a hold of it and act on it, what I can not do in his place, I dictate, letter by letter if necessary, because yes, otherwise the alternative is too often that he sits there for hours and hours, achieving nothing.

I totally agree with Jat's advice,; do what you can to reduce the burden. Homework is not some sort of sacred thing, nor is it essential for learning. I know that I have immense difficulty doing things which seem pointless to me. It literally paralyses me. There is no need to make your child do it if you can do otherwise.

Last edited by ouinon on 15 Apr 2008, 12:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yes, yes, and some more yes. That is very good stuff.




Just when I thought all the yes was gone, here is some more. Full agreement. This post made me smile.

Thank you, cd1!

Sometimes, when you do what you KNOW is best for your child, folks who are clueless but in positions of power or status try to make you feel like a bad parent. It's nice to have some support!

God, tell me about it.

Some times we sit and stare...I sit quietly beside him and we both get lost in our respective minds until my NT partner walks by and quietly asks what we are doing. LOL

Some times I bribe him with extra books. Sometimes I throw it back in his knapsack and write a note telling them that we had a family activity that was more important. Sometimes, he sails through it like a champ.

I don't put too much credence in homework, frankly. My NT son gets so much it's crazy (he's older) and I have no intention on burdening my little man when he gets older. Teach him in school. That's what it's for. I'll help with projects and some extra stuff...but we have little enough time together without them intruding with overtime.

You know... Yeah.

I simply didn't have the kind of homework (if any) that I see children being given today. In the US, I blame it on the infernal "No Child Left Behind" policy. The teachers have to spend all of their time teaching to tests, so actual teaching has to be done via homework. Which, of course, isn't teaching, it's a kind of desperation on the part of the teacher trying to prepare the kid the best they can.

Which is part of why I'm still homeschooling.

Kiddo was supposed to start "real" high school next fall, but has asked to stay home. He doesn't like what he sees in the curriculum of the school he was supposed to attend, and he doesn't like what he sees in the culture of kids his age.

To tie this into your post - as a kid who doesn't feel that he fits within what should be his peer group, who doesn't feel that the standard curriculum meshes with the way his mind is wired, homework in the standard sense would be an exercise in futility.

That said, my situation isn't everyone else's, and obviously doesn't apply to a "standard" school situation. Were I in such a situation, I would most likely be seeking out an IEP that limited homework to only those topics/concepts that weren't mastered during class time.

But the reward/punishment thing? It has never worked for anything with my son. I seriously doubt it would work for school lessons. The only thing that has worked is rationale: if you learn how to do X, you can then use it to do Y (and Y is something he likes).


2

(sorry for the rambling)

i agree with Number_2, i also blame the no child left behind law, I graduated from high school in 2000 and the material i was taught was very boring and dull, doing the same stuff every day, even being taught stuff i really not even interested in. I have aspergers,ADHD and other related issues I have no idea what the point of school was. I didn't have any problems with school, I had a G.P.A of 3.8 and was a honor roll student all the time. But guess what? my life sucks now,bored of everything, and i'm an adult. If i could turn back my life i would of done home schooling or learned on my own what i learned in school.

The internet gives you a whole new perspective of education. I've pretty much learned how to do lots of stuff on the internet that I spent most of my work/job/interests/hobies, etc doing internet self employment and learning new internet developments.

this no child left behind, left me behind in school, i had to take a stupid high school exit exam to graduated, funny thing is i wasn't taught the material on the test, and i failed it 3 times and guess what they terminated the test when i was in school, and still got to graduate. funny thing is that i was one of the highest GPA's in my school and certificates and awards in school and it didn't mean nothing and pretty much everything that i did in school was a waste of time.

NCLB began in 2001. It wouldn't have affected your school education at all.

But it has totally screwed up the educational system. I've observed/taught in schools that have 3 hours of reading and 3 hours of math daily, and then if the kids are lucky they get 10 minutes of either social studies or science once a week. And the one time I observed a social studies class, it was nothing more than reading class utilizing a story about Johnny Appleseed. If you spend hours every day, listening to the first part of a story, reading a story halfway though, then reading that story halfway through again this time allowed, then anwering questions, before you're allowed to read the second half of the story, and that happens every single week, you're going to go grow up to despise any and all reading

What's more is that NCLB requires students to learn so much material each year that the teacher can not afford to go over things repeatedly. There isn't time to spend the three days making sure the class understands the new concept that there used to be. Some teachers try to have kids learn a concept on their own at home to help make up for that. Or barely introduce concepts before giving them homework sheets. The good teachers who don't do that, are the ones who will lose their jobs because of NCLB

well isn't the required high school exams part of the no child left behind law?

Our school has a homework club! So much easier and they have help on the spot!!

There are many exams required by different levels of government (ie district, state, federal). Which ones are you talking about. I also graduated in 2000, and we were required to take Iowa exams in 3rd and 5th grade. There was also a test in 8th grade but I don't remember if it were an Iowa test or another one.

The NCLB are truly required. They are only required by schools that want federal funds. Right now there is some talk about having schools get together and decide they don't want funds for one year in order to get the federal government to make some sense in the education legislation. I doubt that will ever happen though as most schools wouldn't be able to operate without federal funds.

well not sure, but it was a test that they said i couldn't graduate from high school if i didn't pass it. of course they removed it just before graduation. this is in california also.