Please do not make your kids sit down or shut up.

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God did not make us to sit down and shut up. We were just not designed for it. Sitting down or shutting up is unnatural, unhealthy and dangerous, and making kids "behave" when they are so depressed/understimulated they can't-- not won't, can't-- is one of the cruelest things I've ever heard of. We were meant to constantly be moving around gathering crops or hunting or looking for mates or having sex or eating or sleeping or whatever, and being forced to sit in a classroom where the teachers are so incompetent the kids learn nothing, or too slow and the kids drift off or become disruptive because there is too little stimulation getting to them, too late, there is something seriously wrong with the so-called adults that say they know what's best for children.


Also, I think that any parent that expects their child to sit still in a restaurant waiting for half an hour or two hours or whatever, or follow them around mindlessly in a grocery store for as long as you need (for my mother it was all day, it was a nightmare, and she would lie too, saying she would just be in and out, it would only be a few minutes, but it would be a half hour or an hour, or as long as the store was open until, or all day) are not ready to have children. I honestly think that. I will not subject my child to the torture of wheeling them around the mall in a stroller with nothing to do but watch me shop or wait for me to try on clothes or sit in a waiting room with me doing nothing because they are too young to know how to read or just watch me buying things they find boring, and they're not shopping so it isn't fun for them. If I have to bring my child somewhere I'll talk to them and pay attention to them. Cummon; your 5- or 7- or 9-year-old isn't stupid. A 1 or 2-year-old I wouldn't take to the store with me; I'd leave him home with the father or stay home with him while the father went. He isn't going to walk off with a stranger if he's in a grocery store with staff near the entrances and whom he hasn't met if you just told him once that they're going to kill him or something and he doesn't want that, he wants to stay with Mom and Dad, and be alive and have a happy life with his family, so he's going to return to them in the store, not go off with someone. But no; some parents will keep their older kids physically close (and punish them if they stray off) because they somehow think someone will grab them and no one will notice and the kid will love the person at first sight and go willingly. If you're a proper, loving, nonopressive, nonrestrictive, non-disciplinarian, non-paranoid parent you don't need to worry about your kid running off with some stranger. Parents these days are SICK.


If my kids don't do structure and sitting down and shutting up in daycare or preschool or school, I won't send them to that one or send them at all. And if someone tells me my kid needs to learn how to sit down and shut up, I'll teach them (in a stimulating and fun way) that in some places their elite way of doing things is sitting own and shutting up, and it can be fun if you don't have ADD, but if you aren't that person who can or wants to do it don't worry, you don't have to go to those places where you have to sit down and/or shut up!


I was depressed and miserable when I had to tag along after my mother but only had the language to say I was bored; "sad" did not sound right for that situation and I guess as a kid I was too stupid to think that I could have said I felt sad or depressed because I was bored of following her around all the time. A lot of kids jsut say "I'm bored" and then they get called a spoiled brat, and discouraged from venting their feelings in the future.



Sorry.

I didn't know you were a parent Ana54

Well said Ana54!

Helen

Thanks guys, and no I'm not a parent, but I just keep thinking that I don't want to make the same mistakes with my kids my parents made with me and I keep remembering stuff, like when I was at the grocery store and I started to get bored and depressed for no good reason.


Smelena, you never cease to impress me.

Very good points, Ana.

Thanks Ana54!

My boys certainly are full of energy! Introducing ..... my fantastic sons .....

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=7-ZBxFYFvuA[/youtube]

Helen

I LOVE YOU VIDEO!!

What a great family.

I agree that children need time to be children. They have to play, burn off their energy and be kids. But there is also a point where they need to learn appropriate behavior for necessary social situations too, so sometimes they have to sit and be quiet. Children are turning into absolute little monsters because of parents not being parents.

It's all about balance.

I do agree on some things, but I disagree on some others. I am an 11 year old who was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in February 2007, and ever since the battle for my rights and respect, I have been characterized as more of a serious adult than a typical adolescent. Here is my opinion on your topic.

In your first paragraph, I kind of agreed that leading your child's life until he/she is blue in the face or at least 18 is screwed up. I think that at a certain age, you can trust your child if he/she is mature enough, but making them sit down and shut up is not right. You're right, we were meant to be active. However, I disagree with what you said on the classroom setting. A lot of teachers in normal schools do not give enough stimulation to keep their students on track, but my current teacher keeps my class on track, but my 5th grade teacher didn't even try to understand kids who were different from her, and I pretty much was only sitting down and shutting up in 5th grade, but that doesn't mean every teacher is incompetent.

In your second paragraph, I did agree and disagree with some things again. Now, most young kids are told to wait for their parents in a restaurant, and as long as the parent was there, the child was there. And sometimes, the child is not socialized with in any way. Now if that's the case, then I agree. And about that following Mom around in the grocery store comment. Sometimes, an infant child would actually have fun being with his parents while shopping, but if the child ever gets bored or uncomfortable, then I'd say it isn't too smart. Now, when the child is growing up, they'll want to stay home more often, and the parent would think it's strange, and if they are forced to go with their parent, and walking around gets annoying, and the child would stray off to find somewhere comfortable alone. If the parent would punish them for that, they have to understand that their kid is growing up. And I don't think a mother would lie to their child that a staff member of a store would kill him. The only reason I always traveled mostly everywhere with my mother when I was 3-8 is because she was close to me and she'd protect me. Nowadays, if I were anywhere public and alone, and someone attempted to abduct me, I'd fight back or put on a scene. If that doesn't work and the assailant would physically wound me, I'd probably injure him in the worst way I could at that time. But kids do like to be alone more as they grow up, and get bored after walking around for an hour.

I have always been welcome to express my feelings to my mother, but she has never kept me that long. She has never called me a spoiled brat either.

Anyway, I hope you'll look at this carefully.

I think at least if the child doesn't get tired or they get depressed sitting down and shutting up when they have to, please don't deny them antidepressants or stimulants, at least. Oh, and do they have to live in a NT world? There should be an autistic town where they have no obligations except doing what they want and the things they do, the skillsthey have, whatever can be traded with the NT world for goods and services from them, like imported food, clothes, appliances, whatever. It's all about economy and trade and all that, it isn't just somechildish dream.