I am peeved!

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Hi all

My son and I were going past the local autism school the other day. I pointed the school out to J (9 year old AS). He has often asked why he can't go to this school, I explained to him that this is the school for autistic kids that don't have aspergers type of autism.

He then says to me "mum Leigh (this is his teacher) doesn't believe that I have autism or aspergers does she?" I answer I don't think she understands. I then ask him what makes him say that anyway. His response,"because she told me I don't have autism, I have asperger's, I told her that aspergers is autism because thats what my mum said to me". When I asked him what his teacher then said he refused to talk any more, he said he was getting stressed.

I asked him again just a little while ago and he informs me that he told his teacher that he has aspergers which is a part of autism, she said no you don't have autism you have aspergers, he says yes I have aspergers but it is a part of autism my mum says so. No J it isn't you have aspergers not autism. J tells me he then went quiet and his teacher walked away. End of discussion.

Should I be saying anything to her. I am peeved.

We are on school holidays at the moment and wont be back at school for another week.

time for a face to face meeting with teacher--too confusing for your son to have to deal with this. she did not handle it well--Even if she feels this way, keep it to yourself OR teach him that there are in fact two schools of thought. She is a teacher, right?

equinn

I agree with equinn - this is too confusing for your son, and obviously a point of stress for him, which could carry over to the entire school experience (speaking from personal experience). I would meet with the teacher. You are your child's advocate. Do what you feel is right, and I think you already know that answer by the tone of your post.

I agree completely.

Aurea, you need to let the teacher know that she is confusing your son, and you and her need to reach an agreement on how the terminology will be explained.

What we were initially told was that Aspergers was on the spectrum, and related to autism, but not actually "autism," mostly because there is a very definite image associated with the term autism, and my son in no way fits that picture. I think it is the Aspie community itself that prefers to throw all the distinctions away because they are, in reality, rather uncertain, and possibly for activism reasons. All you really know is "on the spectrum" or "not on the spectrum" and as someone who either has it or is parenting someone who does, "spectrum" becomes about all that matters. HOWEVER, schools like precision and little boxes, and tend to choose to work differently with children who are Aspergers v. those who are more Autistic, and the labels end up meaning more to them. Hopefully you and the teacher can find a phrase that makes both of you feel you are telling J something that is accurate.

I would ask for a meeting with both the teacher and the teacher in charge of special needs in the school (ie. there should be a teacher who has overall responsibility for Special Needs, who should be up with things in this area and should know that aspergers is on the autism spectrum). If you meet with both of them, then the classroom teacher won't feel "got at" or it won't be an "I say, you say" situation. You may also find that the Special Needs teacher will follow things up a lot more with the teacher and make sure she/he is informed and resourced. If you do get a meeting with both and it turns out to be a total disaster, then I'd say (from reading your other posts) that this would be the last straw in determining that the school is a incomprehensible disaster in itself, and you should beat it out of there ASAP.

Have you asked for an IEP? You should be entitled to it if you have a diagnosis. I had an IEP for my 7 yr old a couple of weeks ago with classroom teacher, teacher in charge of special needs, and a behaviour and learning support teacher who is shared between schools.

I agree with the meeting with the teacher.

I suggest you take some literature from your local Autism society.

A piece of literature that states Asperger's is an Autistic Spectrum Disorder will save you from having a back and forth argument.

I've found the teachers that tell me they don't know anything about Asperger's are the ones who have worked the best for my sons. These teachers actually listen to my ideas and do independent reading.

It's the teachers who profess expertise in Asperger's that I've found difficult. It would be okay if they were backing up their proclaimed expertised with some accurate knowledge and skills ... but that hasn't happened.

Good luck!
Helen

P.S. You are doing a wonderful job educating your son about Asperger's. My boys self-esteem is 100 times what it was before they knew about Asperger's.

why on earth is this teacher arguing with your son????.........oh brother....stupid and childish

time for a meeting with her . good luck....go above her if you don't get anywhere

Could you hand her some pamplets/print-outs? Preferably from the national autism society, or what ever you've got in your area.
I've done this as it makes the facts indisputable. Gets a lot of info in. I was worried they might feel insulted, but thought what-the-heck - they had it coming

whenever I have a good resource book that I like, I buy a copy and give it to my son's teacher. I think it's good to give her the info and also stress to the teacher that she needs to back off your kid. Adults shouldn't argue with kids. That's crazy that she did that! When she discounts what he says to be true, as he has heard from you, what he's being told is "your parents are wrong--only listen to me." our kids need to know that they can come to us for everything and she is confusing the heck out of him with that talk. best of luck to you.

Autism is not one thing anymore-of the three most alike,it's more like this:
AUTISM/AUTISM SPECTRUM
>classical autism/AD/Kanners
>PDDNOS/Atypical Autism
>Aspergers Syndrome
-They are all forms of Autism under the label of the Autism spectrum disorders .

Teacher looks like has oldskool belief of autism-pre spectrum.

wow a teacher arguing with your 9 year old, thats not right. reading that i was saying to myself, wow this teacher is a dumbass, but she just may not be educated, id say go talk to her, see what you can get worked out so the teacher understands it more.
-John

If I were in your kids situation I would have had a meltdown and started crying right there in front of the teacher!

A conversation (provided I was not so upset I could not speak) would have been something like in a whiny crying sobbing shaky voice, "But daddy said aspergers is autism! You are Wrong! Aspergers is Autism! You are lying!"

Either that or I would have came back at you and accused you of lying because teacher said so.

Okay maybe that wouldn't have come out so smoothly verbally, but it sure would have been in my thought process.

As a child I did not take confusion well at all. If one teacher said something had to be done one way, I believed that was the TRUE and ONLY way. If another teacher had a different method to the same approach or seemed to contradict what a previous teacher said I had a fit.

It was 7th or 8th grade, I ran into a problem with a math teacher. That teacher seemed to be telling something that seemed opposite what a previous teacher said. I broke down and started crying.

But then again my tag is PDD NOS. I wonder if that teacher would have taken PDD NOS as autism??

Something that has helped me figure out the explaination of the asperger/autism/pdd-nos relationship is the picture of the autism spectrum circles.

The one where the big middle circle is autism then there are two smaller circles, one labeled pdd-nos that is inserted into the autism circle, breaking the circumferance, and one labeled aspergers which is pressed up against the side of the autism circle, but doesn't cut the line of the circle.

They are all encased in a big circle called the autism spectrum disorders.

It is visual and fairly easy to understand. I can't seem to find a pic on the internet to link to, but i'll keep looking.