What am I doing wrong?

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Damien is just not tired. he is hyped up, totally happy and it is 9pm

At least he's happy.....

Poor Mum.... I know just how you feel!

Just echoing what someone said in another of your hyper threads
a) might want to try melatonin (in high regard on WP)
b) aspies at that age like rules if you set the bed time at 8 or 9 (not 7) and he has to get ready for bed starting at 7 or 8 then has to be in bed and isn't allowed to be up except for bathroom he will likely fall asleep

I am going to ask for trial of melatonin when we see specialist in couple of weeks!! !! !!
He knows that 7-7.30pm is bedtime but there was rugby on and he found a favourite thing to play with.
On the good side tho he went to sleep not that long after he was put to bed

You are doing nothing wrong! My 11 year old son has no problem some nights staying up until 11:30 and beyond and has always gone through periods of time where his sleep patterns were a little unusual. It used to worry me to death when he was younger -how will he survive on so little sleep? I know it's tough to go through and yes, we've tried EVERYTHING.

Melatonin can be bought over the counter at Walmart - we buy a bottle for about $5 and it lasts quite awhile.

Hang in there- this will change as he grows up but I do feel for you.

Mum2ASDboy has said several times that she is in NZ, not the US and that she can NOT buy melatonin over the counter there. It's a prescription med.

Frankly, if you want advice, I wouldn't start bedtime until closer to 9. You might be getting more tired and exasperated because you're being influenced by the bed time ritual that's going on all night. I remember having to go to bed when it was still light and hating it. I've had 9pm as Pop's bedtime for years. I think when he was little, we dimmed the lights around 8 and had night time music. Then 9 was bed time. He calmed down by then but as I"ve detailed elsewhere, he didn't sleep.

Another thing. My son never appeared tired when he was. In fact, he'd fight it in a different way than NT children. He got more hyper and happy. While NT children seem to get moody, cranky.

True, my son gets more hyper, too!

this might be controversial, but what about extending his bedtime to be slightly later-maybe he really just isn't tired when you think he should be.....

Agree with people saying don't start too early, and/or don't expect actual bedgoing while it's light.

One thing that I did soon after he turned 6 , (5 ?), was explain that I needed "downtime", a "clocking off" moment, and so if he wanted a goodnight kiss and cuddle time, he would have to do it at a set time, usually around 20.30 after getting ready in all other ways, ( teeth, bed, hair brush, etc), and this usually works.

Then he reads or plays in his room, until his little alarm clock goes off at 21.30. Usually he crashes soon after. Simply removing my participation/presence/involvement helped to calm things down. He home-unschools so mornings are relaxed, but he is usually awake by 8.00 ish. So he is getting enough sleep.

Another thing that could be a factor is food. A bit of cheese, (if he isn't dairy intolerant), or other protein, for a little supper, can help quieten things down, rather than sugary or carby things.

Vitamin B's are important for good sleep; avoid sugar and white breads etc. Try to get him eating nuts or marmite/yeast extract, or beans/lentils, or wholegrain pasta/rice, or get vitamin supplements. It might make a difference.

At least half an hours direct daylight on the face each day is also supposed to help establish/maintain sleep patterns.

Good luck.

I'm feeling for you, J (9 AS) hasn't been sleeping lately till at least 11pm sometimes way later.
We have been on school holidays so his routine went out the window. It doesn't help that I have an older son that even tho he is 18 wouldn't dare try the stuff that J does, so thinks it's funny when J says/does what he does. Eg; J go to bed "Im not tired" J you need to go to bed "No I don't Im not tired" and all the while he is starting to get even more hyped up, laughing and throwing cushions at his brother or dancing. Older brother is trying not to laugh (not trying hard enough)
To anyone else J would appear checky, but he's not he is being honest. I want him to go to bed because it is past his usual sleep time and I am exhausted, but at that point in time when I tell him to go to bed he doesn't feel tired.
Last night when I finally managed to get him to bed and to keep his older brother away he was asleep within minutes.
So for us the quicker I can get back to the old routine of strictly quiet time an hour before bedtime the better. Years ago I once tried phenergan(Icant spell it) and it had the opposite effect, J was bouncing off beds and racing around the house, I won't be doing that again.

I feel your pain too. 9 y/o AS DD doesn't go to sleep until after 11:00 most of time lately. I keep catching her in her bed reading. She tells me she can't go to sleep anyway, so she'd rather read. I caught her for the 2nd time last night at 10:30 and told her that's her last chance. One more time, and her light that she reads by will disappear.

I would agree that anything before 9:00 is too early. DD's bedtime is 9:30 and 10:00 on Thursdays if there's a new episode of "Don't Forget the Lyrics." LOL! Weekends, it's 10:30- 11:00.

Well he has to be up and out of bed at 7.15am at the latest so he can get ready and be at school by 8.45.
The past few days I have had to physically had to pick him up out of bed and stand him up in order to wake him up. So in that respect I don't think he is getting enough sleep.
His school work isn't suffering too much and his teacher is aware of how late he is going to sleep.
Then tonight we go back to standard time so he may (crossing fingers here) go to sleep a bit eariler.