Cart before the horse

Post Reply New Topic

I know I am majorly putting the cart before the horse,
but all the signs are there, even I am not that blind.
I am in a custody dispute, I keep asking for 50/50 custody,
I figured it was a safe way to go,
My Ex wanted the whole cookie, and then slammed the door in my face about being reasonable about the whole thing.
we got an GAL involved (a court advocate for the child),,
its starting to look like I may end up with far more custody then I was asking for,
its starting to look more and more like my ex is going to get the alternating weekends and I FULL custody.
god I am so ecstatic and happy,
I gave my word to my child I would always try and keep both of his parents in his life as much as I could,
but this does not mean I have to agree to 50/50 to keep my word.
well, I guess I will know for sure at the end of this month,
it may be all over by then.
we are supposed to mediate a parenting plan first before its all over,
if she sees she may be losing she will most likely change her tone and want to share custody,
too late, she being so selfish and a biotch and unreasonable cost her,
she will have to wait till after the dispute is over then start being reasonable and asking for time
which I will allow for our child's sake as long as she treats him right,
I do want them to have a bond, regardless of how I feel about her.

Last edited by aspergian_mutant on 10 Apr 2008, 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hmm, I've never heard of having to conceede to legal 50/50 just to make it so. Take as much custody as you want, wait till the lava cools, then show generosity by allowing said ex to spend extra time with your son. This should make you look like the good guy, keep your word with your child, and leave you in control.

As a child caught in the middle of a 50/50 custody arrangement (2 months, then I'm an adult and can do whatever the hell I want) I can say that having no sway over the changes is often maddening when I want to be with a certain parent a certain week/weekend. If you had a larger portion of time, you could both cater to your child's desire to have both parents, but still give him the option to have some stationary living arrangement down time if he needs it. From what I've seen, as long as you and your ex at least get into a "for the sake of the child" mindset with eachother, you can eventually tailor it adhoc as benefits your son (as long as no side feels cheated at the end of the day).

Dunno how clear or precise that was, I'm just answering from your son's future perspective.

That is excellent advice, you can be generous, later. I can not stress enough how good that advice is.

Divorce is no fun. I am so pleased that male rights have been more forth coming then they use to be. No need to go into any of my details, other than to say we didn't know I was an aspie and even though I found out I was bipolar near the end of it, I was still treated as if I was a criminal. I found out much later she was abusing the kids, so much for blind justice. I put an end to that woman, later.

Hopefully everything will settle out in a way that will truly be the best for your child. I am glad to hear that it looks like you will be able to play an active role in your child's life, whatever percentage that may turn out to be, because I know how important that was to you, and that you very much believe it will best for your child as well.

Stay focused on what is likely to be the best for your child. That is primary.

And I know you know that.