Another NT mom of a PDD kid... hello!

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Hi, I'm officially introducing myself. I'm Meg. I'm 31 years old and a mom of 3. I'm an NT, but my middle child, Adam, was diagnosed PDD-NOS at age 3 1/2 and is now almost 6. He's got a lot of Aspie traits (normal intelligence, appears NT to most people who don't witness the meltdowns or don't realize how socially awkward he is for his age,) but isn't officially an Aspie because he has a significant language delay.

My other two kids are super-verbal, super-social NTs, which I think is hard on Adam, but they challenge him in a good way.

Anyway, I just discovered this site and I am beyond excited about it. I've been spending all of my time reading so many of the threads and articles and blogs - it's soooo super helpful to read all this stuff. I feel like I have something of a glimpse into the way Adam's mind works. He has Auditory Processing Disorder and is also Hypoglycemic. But he's a happy, hearty, loving boy. I'm so grateful to him for taking me on this journey and opening my little NT mind to this "other planet." (What a great name - "Wrong Planet." Adam has always planned to be an astronaut someday.) And I'm grateful to this site already for all I have learned so far!

Right now my husband and I are trying to figure out where to place Adam for school next year. The public school system is pressuring us to put him in a "normal" classroom, but we are resistant. Adam is intelligent, but his behavorial issues are pretty severe. We want him in a special ed class, a private school, something. We're not sure what we want for Adam, actually. I'd love any and all thoughts, input, or stories of your experiences with this sort of thing!!

Thanks!
Meg

Welcome to WP!

hello Meg, welcome to wrongplanet, i also have Aspergers along with PTSD, anxiety etc, i'm a male and 28 yrs old. Alot of adults have been mis diagnosed or diagnosed with alot of diagnoses which is very similar to aspergers. I have officially been diagnosed with aspergers after being mis diagnosed many times with learning disorder, dylexia,ptsd, schizophrenia, and alot of others. So it's good that your child is still young, cause 10-15 yrs ago aspergers/autism/pdd/adhd wasn't even known.

try to get a IEP set up at your childs school. (just incase) cause it helped me get on SSD a year ago. (i'm 28 now) and I would never imagine that my life would fall apart completely cause of traumatic events and work burnout at this age, I know i'm still young somewhat. But your child will have a much harder time when hes an adult. So feel blessed that hes still young p=.

your child is a little professor (hes very smart) if you put him into a career that hes interested in, whatever you do, do not have him work in the grocery industry, the sensory issues and corporate(employer) greed and cruel treatment will happen that will get your child over the edge, it happened to me, i'm just warning you about it. cause I do not want your child to end up like I did, To be honest I can't believe that someone like me who had a 3.8 gpa in school and honor roll student and tons of awards would be at this position and pissed off at the world.

Be careful on what school you put him into, school was a nightmare for me, I wasn't bullied that much but i went home sick alot from stress and migraines and school really just really horrible for me. The material they teach is worthless to people like us.
They spend to much time on group activities and test taking which just left me behind(no child left behind) and the education system yeah sure what a frieking joke. School was very boring for me, the only thing I was into was computers which is how I ended up doing self employment and very wealthy during high school, up to about 5 years ago when everything went down hill.

All i can say is if you have to put him into a school, have him join science, computer, homework, independent classes if possible.
The only problem is that I have no idea where you live, I live in USA. The education system is a joke here, it's rediculas and doesn't meet up to the students interests or enjoyment.

Hi Meg! Figuring out school placement is probably one of the most stressful things you'll do, so try to hang in there. The schools will always try to keep kids in the public schools. It's not just for financial reasons - for some kids in some districts, inclusion (done properly, and that does sometimes happen!) costs more than private placement. But more often, it is cheaper to keep everyone in the public school. The reality is that the way the laws are currently written and interpreted, the schools are obligated to try and keep as many kids as possible in their neighborhood schools - you'll hear a lot about "least restrictive environment." Remember, though, that it's supposed to be the least restrictive environment that's consistent with providing a "free appropriate education" to your child.

When you discuss your son's placement with your school district, make sure NEVER to use the word "best" when describing the educational setting you want for him. Of course, you want the best. But the school district is not obligated to provide the best, only "an appropriate" education. Use their terminology so you don't get in trouble.

As far as what you want for him - trust your gut! You know your child best. Has Adam been in pre-school? If so, has it been an inclusive environment or one for kids with special needs? What kinds of issues have you seen there? You said you were concerned about behavioral issues. Find out what kinds of supports the school district plans to offer. How would they handle the behavioral issues? If they are proposing a one-to-one aid for Adam, ask whether that wouldn't cause more of a barrier between Adam and his classmates than an alternative setting would.

Our school district acknowledged a one-to-one behavioral aid as a more restrictive environment than a private school placement, which it is (by regulations, I think, and definitely by practicality). If a child has someone shadowing his every move, he cannot interact naturally with classmates. In a smaller setting, with a higher teacher:student ratio, where all the students have that same level of support, your child is not being singled out and therefore is not going to be made to feel as stigmatized as if he were "included" but so closely supervised that he couldn't breathe without someone noticing. On the other hand, if the school has a support program that would provide a level of support without making Adam feel "watched" or otherwise stigmatized, it could work. Some schools have full time or part time programs that have small classes with an assistant teacher and a teacher, and it works.

Also remember that the IEP is supposed to develop a program that is individualized around the INDIVIDUAL needs of the child - most schools try to fit the child into the existing programs, and forget that they are supposed to develop programs to fit the needs of the child. It can be useful to find out whether your school district has a parent group for parents of kids with special needs - if they do, that group can be very helpful in providing information about what to expect from your district when you have your IEP meeting.

Sorry this is so long - I hope it's a bit helpful!

welcome, Meg.

My son (eight and pdd-nos) does best with his own paraprofessional (he loves). He, too, is very bright with no LD's. Still, he needs prompting, guidance and someone there for him. The more support they get when they're younger, the less they'll need when they get older.

Make sure that your son gets lots of support. I was always worried that he would seem different. The fact is, he is different and requires support. He's in a good place now with an IEP, autism label, and a full time para to help him whenever he needs him.

Normal classroom is fine (my son is in reg classroom too), but he should have had more support at a younger age and I think we could have avoided some problems.

You are wise in wanting support. Insist upon it. The best program will provide excellent supports for your son (not just part time or shared support).

equinn

Welcome to Wrong PLanet. Yes...the IEP. He will be ok in a regular school with the IEP in place you will get a para (like mentioned above) for the behavior and keeping them on task in the classroom. (an aide) You may be as lucky to get him also into a social group with other kids with the Social Worker. This will teach him to socialize better.

Also as mentioned above...it is all Asperger's. So many misdiagnoses...the auditory processing...part of Asperger's, etc.

My favorite book Asperger's Syndrome A Guide for Parents and Professionals by Tony Attwood. It will all start to make sense.

Good luck!

I forgot to mention the stigmatizing. I have to admit that it does happen. Unfortunately, my son loves his para but he doesn't think he needs him (doesn't want me to say this though).

My son prefers adult attention so this sort of feeds into it, and so it's not perfect by any means. For right now, the support is excellent. If he had this 1:1 support since kindergarten, he would be absolutely fine (maybe).

Of course, in third grade, when a child appears smart and normal but has a para with him/her, the other kids are going to wonder. Some will be envious that he/she has the additional attention and take it out on child (this happens too).

Something to consider.

I'm on both sides of the fence with this issue.

equinn