?re;facial expression and emotions

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Hi I have a question regarding facial expression and actual emotions.
J my 9 year old AS son didn't want to go to school again this morning. He is saying he is tired he finds what the teacher is saying kinda hard to understand and a little confussing(yet everyone thinks he is doing fine and showing no signs of not coping) he is sad about not having many friends, he has one boy that he mostly plays with when he can find him. There are a couple of other kids he would like to play with, but they wont play with him. Any way he is telling me all of this and begging to stay home promissing me he will do extra school work etc, even asking me to find him another program like the arts program run by our local autistic school. All of this is said in a voice that doesnt sound stressed or upset, he is either smiling or not looking stressed yet he has tears streaming down his face, then telling me he has tummy pains. Whats the deal does anyone know?
Is it possible that he is in emotional termoil, yet still look like he hasn't a care in the world? There was no tantrum.
I am confussed. Part of me (the biggest part) believes every word he is saying, that he is finding school hard etc. Yet a small part of me (possibly influenced by the schools lack of acknowledgement that he isnt copying) thinks maybe its not as bad as he says, perhaps he is conning me. My fear is if it really is effecting him like he says, yet I keep sending him to school he will think I dont care and he will stop talking to me about whats going on emotionally for him. Again on the other hand I dont want to buy into something that isnt as bad as he thinks.

Please anyone everyone help!! !! !! I am so confussed.

aurea sounds like hes starting to have a emotional breakdown, my stomach hurts when i'm under a lot of stress and anxiety or upset about something..

that sounds like a panic attack to me

tears streaming down... still able to speak.... not necessarily frowning or out of breath... with stomach pain that feels like a heart attack once you know what a heart attack is...

I've come out of some of them, once I stopped speaking and was able to relax, smiling like a loon

watch his arms if it happens again... if one or both are shaking... there is an adreneline rush running through...

something has triggered his "fight or flight" and his choice there was flight

he is still able to communicate, just cannot control the tears, which actually makes the tears worse.

treat it like one of his meltdowns... get him to calm down how ever he needs to... then see if you can get a reason why he freaked (i call it that for mine)... you won't be able to get a reason out of him while he's crying like this...

it's kinda like AS hyper focus..... the only thing he can see at that point is what he is asking for.... not the who/what/where/when/why

I can tell you... the one thing I always wanted when I got like this was a hug... never any other time... but this would be one of those "I need a hug moments"... up to you to try it... every kid is different.

don't forget that facial expressions can be difficult for those with aspergers.....my husband used to frown all the time-even when he was ecstatically happy !.....don't let the smile fool you. listen to what he's saying

farkin kick him in the gts if da mongrel aint gonna go to skool

You know your kid, but I'm with ster on this - facial expressions are not to be trusted! If your kid is able to tell you what's bothering him, NEVER discount it. schools ALWAYS tell you how wonderfully your kid is doing (in terms of adjustment). If they told you otherwise, they would have to address it, and they don't want to.

He's at the age when things start getting more abstract, and therefore often more difficult for AS kids to follow. Things are more implied and less stated, harder to follow. Your guy is not likely to know why he's having a hard time, and school is likely to discount anything that he can't back up with explanations. The only cautionary note is, if you let him have a "mental health day" (as I always call them), make sure that BEFORE you tell him he can stay home, you tell him it's just for one day, and that tomorrow he has to go to school (or whatever you plan to do). Otherwise, staying home becomes the new routine - in a big happy hurry! LOL!

Sometimes it's something about what happens first thing in the morning. Sometimes it's Mondays ... one year, my son went in to school late almost every Monday through the whole winter - the combination of Mondays, the first thing in the morning routines at school, and seasonal affective stuff wound up playing out that way. He couldn't transition from the weekend to the week smoothly, so allowing him that extra hour or two on Monday mornings made the whole rest of the week run much better. Meanwhile, you can try to figure out whether a different school program might actually be a good thing for him.

As with all kids, just knowing that you're listening to him can make a world of difference, both in how he feels, and in his willingness to share what's going on. Good luck!

It is hard for Aspies to match up their nonverbal expressions with their words. In my experience, the words are always correct.

Trust what he says, not what his body language says. In my experience, at least, when my body language doesn't match what I'm saying, the words are always right. There is a chance he could be conning you, but there's a much higher chance that he just isn't showing the right facial expression and tone of voice.