I've just had our first ever ILP

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I had our first ever ILP (individual Learning Plan) meeting yesterday.
The meeting started with the vp saying that one of the reasons we were having this meeting was to establish if J even needed an ILP. <-me
They told me how J appears to be doing just fine at school, thank goodness for the resource worker (she didnt say much, in fact I thought she was a little weak but they listened) the resource worker pulled out a sheet of paper for J's teacher and then went on to say that some of these asperger kids become extremely good at holding it together and working out certain ways to act in certain situations, then they get home and let it all out.
J's teacher then spoke about her only concern with J was his writing and fine motor skills, she broke it to me gently (lol) that his writing isn't very good, she even produced a copy of some of his writing. I laughed, then told her that is the best peice of writing I have ever seen by him. She suggested maybe I get him some playdough, and do some join the dot puzzles with him. Ha again. I went on to say we have permantly set up on our dining room table a playdough caddy, not just for fine motor but for sensory issues as well. The teacher, the vp and the resource worker then started throwing around ideas to help J with his fine motor/writing issues. The RW asked if he'd ever had an OT assesment I explained that this was all talked about during his AS evaluation it was extremely costly for an assesment and the waiting period to have it done free was 3months. It had been decided we (the evaluation team) already had a good idea of his weaknesses so I had been taking him for OT last year anyway, but the OT was mainly focusing at that time on other areas. The vp then looked at J's teacher and had a light bulb moment, fine motor difficulties can be a part of aspergers. Yay she finely said it. The up shot of all the writing discussion= J will get some extra pc time to do his writen work, not all the time though, his teacher didn't want this very much, but lo and behold the vp actually said he would benefit from this, these kids writing skills may never develop to the same level as the rest of his class.
The vp asked me why I stopped the OT, my response was that it was very disruptive to J to be off doing this in the morning and then trying to fit back in at school, the RW then explained about transitions be so hard. The vp said but he is fine when he goes to Wednesday group, Yeah cause he isnt coming back here the same day. Ohhhhh. Well much to my surprise ( the school is very big on making sure the kids dont miss any time at school and in the past have made me feel like a bad parent for taking J to doc's appointments etc) the vp suggested pulling him out early in the afternoon to take him off for OT.
I then told his teacher that he didn't trust her and I explained about what he'd said to me about the autism aspergers disscussion they'd had, she said no it wasn't like that. The vp jumped in and also said it wasn't like that. They believed J was useing aspergers as an excuse not to do something. I explained what he told me, and even if it wasn't ment the way it sounded this is what he believed was ment, I then went on to say his teacher had made it worse by not following threw one day when he'd had a bad morning, and I had finelly gotten him to agree to my talking to his teacher, he'd watched me speak with her, she had assured me she would talk to him, so I told him to try not to worry she would speak with him about what was going on, but at the end of the day when I picked him up he was very angry because his teacher hadn't talked to him at all!! !!
By this stage his teacher was showing signs of great remorse (good) she actually turned to me and said she was feeling extremely distressed that he was feeling like this and she had never picked up on it. She actually said he is extremely literal isnt he. Der. At this stage the vp turned again to the teacher and said' this is another asperger symptom" Hurray the parent isn't lying!! !!
The vp looked resigned to the fact now that J does have AS he just doesnt present in a way that they have delt with before. Oh gee maybe they actually have to listen to me. The up shot is a card system will be put in place after his teacher apologises to him, where he just needs to give his teacher a card that says I need to talk with you, she will then know that as soon as she can she will pull him aside and he can say what ever is bothering him.
Social time was then talked about, they still dont see this as a huge problem for him but they did admit that whilst he looks like he has other kids to play with, the playing he is doing is a little strange and its possible that he is finding the other kids games very difficult to follow. Whilst they wont allow him to bring his "technology" to school ie his ds he can bring his tamagotchi or his books etc. I told them that I dont really want his ds going to school anyway, besides he would find this boring because he has clocked all his games and we're not in a hurry to buy more, not when he is clocking them in a day. (his teachers jaw dropped)
The meeting was getting wound up, they hadn't allowed extra time, I don't think they thought they would need it. I didn't get to ask for all I wanted, but so far I think progress has been made. His teacher assured me she would pull J aside early next week (today is a public holiday) to have a chat with him and to show him the sheet of paper on aspergers that she was given by the resouce worker, she would explain that she did know about AS, she then very meekly said but obviously not as much as you do and she looked straight at me. Hurray.
All in all I think it went pretty well, we've had a break threw. Whilst I didn't have time to ask for everything I wanted, at least now I have some where to start, and the school have relised they need to stop making assumptions.
Now only time will tell, if they follow threw on what they have said.
Sorry this was so long, I was just very excited about my little break threw.

Great hear about your breakthrough and it's exciting to hear they acknowledged your expertise.

The problem is that teachers will meet 1 student with Asperger's and then presume that everyone with Asperger's is like that. Stereotyping!

Keep up the good work.

Helen

It sounds like you have a possible advocate in the VP. Have you considered emailing them and letting them know how much you appreciate their openmindedness and support? Never hhurts to let people know that they are appreciated. Then while you are buttering them up(yeah, I have learned a few NT tricks, just not very good at it myself),you can mentio some of the things that weren't covered in the meeting...like having an option for your child to use a typewirter device for some school work. I don't even know why they teach hand writng anymore...we should all be practicing our typing as it is going to be the majority of written communication in the future. Schools need to start catching up with technology.

I am so glad to hear that light bulbs are starting to go on at the school!

It's all a process. A slow and frustrating one, but a process.