Boys Vs. Girls - Symptoms of the Spectrum....????

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My son has had a diagnosis since 2007. My daughter is in grade 1 now.... and has definately had odd tendancies too, but NEVER as obvious as my son. But the more we go along, the more difficulties she is having in school - more behavioural issues (kicking kids at school, calling to come home, peeing her bed and pants, trouble during class work exercises), more chewing fetishes (she chews on EVERYTHING - even my son's eye glasses). She licks her finger and sticks it in her eye - more often when she is upset (we had her at an optomotrist and she's fine). We have an appointment at a developmental pediatrician in March - but I'm just really stressing... How on earth am I going to handle TWO kids?? I have a great support system, but it feels like between my boy and my girl, the school calls about every other day. Anyway.. it's not about me.... I was just venting there...

My question was.... are girl symptoms different than boy aspie symptoms???? (that you may know of)

I'd say yes, although 1)that's a very broad brush to paint with and 2)from what I'm gathering, the differences are really about the expression of autism, not the actual autism.

I am not formally diagnosed, but am coming more and more to realize that I must have Aspergers. My son, recently diagnosed, is very like me - though he has some traits from his father, too.

I was mostly different in that I internalized everything and tended to blame myself for everything. My son does this, too - but he's more likely to blow it out at you, or blame people as well as himself. We are both explosive, but I tended to melt into angry tears and my son tends to threaten or become violent. I think this is the biggest difference that I can attribute to gender: I tended to (very unsuccessfully) hide behind my hair and become depressed, and my son tends to have huge outbursts. I was also a chewer, though I find my son is, too.

Both my son and I have been victims of our own inability to communicate - it left us both vulnerable to bullying (I did kick a kid at school once in 8th grade for rubbing up against me in a pointedly and publicly sexual way) I had real trouble doing assignments I felt were "pointless" along with discalcula that I still have today, which caused me to be disruptive during those classtimes.

Good luck, gogos - hugs.

I'm a girl and chewed on everything when I was little. I think that's a definite sign of something because it's a stim / sensory behaviour. Girls tend to have worse issues the older they get and tend to also not be violent or externalize their behaviour so it's easier to miss, but this isn't true all the time.

I think there are differences between boys and girls in some cases. I think girls go undiagnosed sometimes because sometimes other girls in school will "Mother" them and teach them some social skills or shelter them from others. Also girls can be more animated as apposed to the more flat type expression....although this is not always the case. I had and still have a tendency to smile all the time even when I am very upset or under stress. I also am a chewer, my parents have lots of stories of things I chewed up like the dashboard of the car. My Dad called me "mouse". I also had incontinence it was complicated by the fact that I had a deformed urethra but it was also due to stress. My 18 year old daughter had many of the same problems as I did but instead of chewing she picked at her skin. My 5 year old Autie also chews and we found her some things for her one is called Chewlery which is little things that look like a tiny old fashioned phone cord that they can wear as a bracelet or necklace and is for the purpose of chewing. There is also a tube like thing called Chew ease which has a clip that you can clip to their clothes. You can find both of these on Amazon and other sites. My daughter uses these a lot at school and it helps them to know when she is getting very stressed when she really is chewing and twisting it.
I have five kids, one with Classic Autism, one with Asperger's and two adult kids (boy and girl) with Asperger's and co exhisting mental illness. I also have one adult neuro-typical daughter.
My Autistic kids are easier for me to understand as I have Asperger's myself. My kids who also have mental illness have been and are a large challenge but just like me, you will get through it. There is so much help out there now. I am thankful my two younger kids are getting the therapy and help that they need. I wish it had been there for my older kids. They are now flailing and have not done well but at least they are now getting more help so Im hoping things turn around especially for my older son.
Dont worry Mom, you can handle two Aspies. You already have one so you can do it, dont sweat the small stuff and try to keep a positive outlook. Work on the things that are major problems and keep educating yourself.

Wow... thanks everyone for lots and lots of great ideas and support.

Natalie isn't a wetter at all... it just seems co-incidental that she wanted to come home from school and then subsequently peed her pants. She has been crying through her simple homework lately saying, after I BEG her to explain. "she just can't find the words". I talked to her teacher after school yesterday and she described Natalie as "Not being engaged" lately - or more than usual (been there done that with Brandon).

She is the most deshevelled (spelling, sorry), unorganized, qwirky girl you could ever see. But like her brother.... just loves loves loves to talk and socialize (not completely an asperger trait). Both are very endearing and everyone really likes them. When she was a baby she cried over everything.... even when the cat left the room. Until this year, every day after school when I picked her up she would be bawiling... for no reason. This year is much better for that..... thank goodness.

I have not been diagnosed... but I can SWEAR to you I am an aspie too. I have always had social aniety too... and lately it's been in fulllllll force. I've been hiding out and refusing to check the mail in the day light just to avoid the thought of having to make conversation. My brother was diagnosed as hyperactive growing up and was put on mega drugs... and the antics of my father, who isn't around anymore, as explained to the doctor by my husband completely led to the diagnosis of my boy.

I will have many more questions, I'm sure.... and it's always so great to talk with people who understand. Thanks a million!

Hi
I have 12Y/O twins both with AS.
My son was diagnosed at 8 and his twin sister at 10. Both are so very different, we kinda suspected with him but her diagnosis was a total shock, I took it very badly the thought of both my kids having this huge mountain to climb really knocked me sideways. Being our only kids we hadn't a clue. Yes, he had issues but she wasn't having the same problems he was. By comparison we thought she was normal, boy, were we wrong!

I cope by taking one day at a time, accept there will be good and bad days, learn from the bad ones and rejoice with the good ones.

BTW: Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Willey is a good book about girls/women/mothers with ASD.

Good Luck

I think that every aspie/autie exhibits diffrent behaviors and patterns. I have on Aspie girl and I am an Aspie myself. I don't have any boys to compare her to, but I can tell you that a great deal of her quirks are diffrent than what mine were. From what I've been told, once you meet one aspie/autie, you've met one aspie/autie!

I was a chewer (not too prolific), a cutter and an obsessor of cartoon shows. She is interested in small insects, most animals and has a few tic like movements and a very monotone manner of speech. She is almost six and I'm sure some of that will either get better or worse.

Best of luck to you!