structured summer schedule? -

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It is the summer and summers tend to be a little more laid back. My son is really into "What day it is and what is happening for the day." During the school year, he attended preschool and we were pretty structured. For example, the tuesday schedule included: speech, mcDonalds, preschool and then the park. Nate thrived on that!

So, I was thinking of sitting down with him in the next few days to create a summer schedule. He goes to summer prek camp (with only 6 other kids - perfect), three days a week for five hours. On the other days, I would like to set up more structure. I asked him if he wanted to sit down and make a summer schedule and he got excited and said "YES!"

If you are on HFA/AS, how much structure do you think is needed?? Do you feel a picture schedule is helpful. I have seen it being helpful for kids at school but I don't know about home. I am thinking of doing it anyways. He can't read yet but is almost there.


Would you include the time for breakfast, what happens after breakfast (i.e., mondays - library; fridays - park), etc. How detailed would you make it?

He tends to get a little anxious with less structure. I really want him to feel at peace this summer and he loves it when he knows what to expect. It makes him very happy!!:)

Yes...good idea(could you make one for me to )


I would just be careful not to put anything on the list that might have to be canceled do to weather without including a "back-up" plan that is as appealing. Maybe designing something with pictures on magnets that can be moved around if needed ? I also know for me as a kid(I still am one at 44), I also need some "alone time" to destress if something on my "to do list" is more social or stimulating...I need process time afterwards.

Thanks!! I will be developing something soon and will take pictures! I was thinking Velcro.
I will have Nate choose pictures and we will laminate them and use Velcro!! Maybe magnets would be better??


We are going to create a bulletin board in his room this weekend with green wooden borders, since that is his favorite color.
The schedule will be one of the things on there and each morning he will wake up and look st the schedule; move some things around depending on the weather. He will have options of activities each day. His alone time each day is animal planet or HGTV - seriously!! He still loves his train tracks, too!! He will have free time in there. Of course, if he needs a break anytime he can have one! It will be structured for him to help with anxiety.

Since I am seriously spatially challenged, my son will probably do more than me! It will be so fun, hopefully! I am so not creative but did get some good ideas from a wonderful IBI worker and speech path. Being creative really stresses me out because of my spatial problems. I like challenges. i may just need a Valium beforehand j/k - kind of!

Great! The other thread is making me second guess! i will try it and see what happens!

Lol...try and have soe fun with it....I love craft projects but orginizing...not so much.

When I was a kid my mom would shove me out the door as soon as it got light enough, and say..."go play". I would spend the next 5 hours explorig every bug and rock I could find in the woods and getting together funneral parties with a few other kids to bury any dead road kill I happened to find....My mom would have had a heart attack if she knew her little girl was playing with dead animals...(I could make a great grass and sticks cross )....


I had no sturcture and did learn how to occupy myself just wandering around picking up rocks and sticks, but I don't know if it is so safe to do that with kids any more . My favorite thing was going to craft classes and my least favorite was being stuck inside during bad weather (before I learned to read), and all the "lessons...swimming,baton twirling, piano, dance...yuck, it was a nightmare. I would have loved it if my mom had taken me for trips to museums, art galleries, lybrary, garage sales....but I would also like to have known when we were doing such things so I wouldn't be thinking in my head the night before about all the beetles I was going to find that day and then have to readjust to the unexpected trip to the Zoo...know what I mean ? Thats why I think structure can be good and free time can be good but forced activities just for the sake of looking "middle class" for the neighbors....is not so good.

That made me kind of sad. I do that to Nate sometimes when we don't have the structure - say, go outside for awhile and play. He plays with bugs and puts them in his bug catcher. He does occupy himself picking up rocks and sticks. Last summer, we had a structure down pretty well (I was pregnant with my other child so it was just us). The night before, we would sit down and discuss what we were going to do the next day. We did preschool together and at least a few days a week we went to the library, the kids museum or something else out in the community. That worked really well! We didn't have any scheduled classes at that time. We did go to garage sales and stuff like that. He did seem to enjoy that!! !

We added Taekwondo and he HATED IT. He was very uncoordinated and the lady kept yelling at him (they are supposed to yell) and he was supposed to copy her and make eye contact. He started to cry on the way the there. I said, "Screw the contract" - $160 to get out. It was painful to watch him and painful for him. I put him in swim lessons and he actually started to do alright. He finally wasn't afraid of the wading pool anymore. I only wanted him to do swim lessons for safety reasons. He actually did 8 lessons and didn't complain. He finally told me that he had enough and didn't want to do it anymore. Water used to be a big thing for him - sensory speaking, so he improved but I am not going to push him right now.

We have a family membership for the zoo, so that is a good thing to put on our "board"

You have really helped me!!

I'm glad to help...I wish there had been some one for my mom to talk to when I was a kid (that understood AS) but she was working blind. Don't feel bad about pushing him outside for playing...honestly...it is some of my best memories. I just wish that my mom would have liked spending SOME time with me but she really couldn't seem to stand me. I probably was quit obnoxious, I can't be objective, but I think it was really just very bad chemistry...me very AS, her very NT. I'm just glad to hear that you listen to your son because it will help him more then any activity he does or doesn't do. Wishing you both a great and fun summer...(and there is no "wrong" as long as there is honesty with yourself and love for him.)

My son is 8 and we still need schedules. Not the elaborates ones anymore. But I do write down the weekly events.

But I would definitely use a daily schedule for a preschooler.

I find that my sons also need a schedule during the summer for a few different reasons.
1. They need to know what to expect. If we just spring things on them (like an outing or an appointment) they get very anxious, but if they know in advance what is coming up on which days they are calmer and happier.
2. If they have too much time just to do their own thing they become really, really, really resistant to doing anything but their own thing. This makes it even more difficult for them to transition back into school. So during the summer I try to keep up with brief but regular times where they are expected to "come up for air" and participate in something other than their special interest for awhile.
3. They have a tough time with transitions, and it helps them a great deal to know in advance when one activity will end or be interrupted.

That being said I try not to make the schedule too regimented, because I worry that this could make them more rigid. So the schedule can and will change at times to accommodate weather, illness, mood or other unpredictable factors. I think it is good for them to have to be a little bit flexible, plus I personally loathe a really strict schedule and mom's needs need to be taken into account just a little, tiny bit, every once in awhile.
And like I said in the other thread about schedules, part of our structure includes large blocks of free time. I think it's really good for a child's creativity and sense of self to have time to figure out what they want to do, who they are and to just explore. So we really try to strike a balance between structure and choice.

Anyway my sons and I were going to work on our summer plans this weekend. The three of us make a list of things we want to do, then work on daily and weekly schedules together. I would be really interested to see the pics of your schedule board when you are done. It sounds like it's going to be really cool!

Yes, definitely. If some things have to happen then they need broadcasting/flagging well in advance, clearly, and at least one or two reminders.


Now that is original. My son homeschools so we don't have that problem. The thought of imposing activities on him so that he would put up with even more imposed/enforced activities the rest of the year does my head in rather!


Yes. Not only one's sense of self apparently, but also a mass of very important cognitive processes require free/unstructured activity as "training". To learn how to create structure, how to plan, how to make decisions, unstructured play is essential.

More and more studies show that unstructured play, the kind children used to have before the culture of school, and classes for everything, took over, is a crucial part of acquiring executive functions and creative problem-solving capacities.

It's almost exclusively what my son does, and he has learned so much doing it. It's called home-unschooling. Don't really need any other kind it turns out.


The thought of scheduling/programming "unstructured" time weeks ahead is just too much for me. It would have me either in frantic OCD mode or rebellious defiant mode within days, ... no, ... hours!

I agree that it sounds a little ludicrous, to impose activities during what could otherwise be free time, but for us it is important that our sons learn to do what must be done, along with having time to do what they want to do. So we sometimes ask them to step away from their chosen activities in order to try something else that would benefit them or our family (as in helping around the house). They would never (or rarely) choose to go swimming, play a board game or go to the park, even though they really enjoy all of these activities, because right now their all consuming passion is Bionicles and they would choose to spend all of their time building them. This would not be healthy for them. They need exercise, fresh air and chances to interact with other people (as in going fishing with Grandpa, or baking cookies with me or playing with a friend- and no,we don't force a bunch of stressful peer socialization on them that they don't want), along with unstructured time to pursue and enjoy their special interests. We also want our sons to learn to be responsible contributors to our family life, as in doing a few chores and helping with family projects. We find that they are most amenable to doing these things if the activities are regular and predictable parts of our routine. They are learning that it is not always best just to do what you want to do, which in turn also helps with school (which is of course, unfortunately, mostly about doing what you don't want to do, when you don't feel like doing it ).
Another reason for asking them to sometimes participate in imposed rather than chosen activities is the fact that our family life is about a balance of needs, it is not just about what they like or want. For example this summer my sister, who has William's syndrome, will be coming to visit. My boys will need to make compromises on what they usually do, and where they do it in order to accommodate her. I will likely be having a surgery sometime this summer, during my recovery time they will need to be more helpful around the house and flexible to their father's needs. Having a schedule that lets them know when and what to expect will help them to meet these challenges, and considering other people's needs as we decide on our routine helps them to develop empathy. Developing an ability to consider other people's needs and act accordingly will also help with them with being part of their school community, and the community at large and in whatever future relationships they may develop.

So in short (gosh, this is long...your questions and comments are just really making me think about why we make the choices we do Ouinon, which is really good ) I see many benefits to asking our children to participate in imposed activities, as long as said activities are not too long in duration/stressful etc., and they have ample time in which to make their own choices and follow their own natural inclinations as well. For us it is all about balance.



I agree that unstructured play is essential, and that children are getting way less than they need in modern society. My sons classmates have sports and activities after school almost everyday. Many of them are in after school care until 5:30, then have a quick bite to eat, go to their activity and then home to bed. It sounds absolutely gruelling! My sons would flounder without their quiet, alone time every day. And that much social engagement????! !! It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it! I'm glad that unschooling is working well for your son Ouinon. For now the pros of our school environment outweigh the cons for us, but I am very glad to have the option of home school/ unschooling if that changes.



I get a little rebellious and defiant about the schedule too. So I hear you on that one! I was very resistant to the idea of one at first, but when we tried it my sons thrived. But the part I and they love best is the planning part. It is so much fun to make the lists, and decide on the routine, and then test it out and make adjustments. We treat it like a bit of a science experiment, and we all get to give input and make adjustments until we feel like we have it just right. I do like planning things (I'm the type of person with itineraries and maps and research on the local landmarks all neatly printed in a folder before the vacation!?!). It makes me feel calmer and safer, and my sons are similar. I think they find the schedule more reassuring than confining.

Off topic, couldn't resist ref to Bionicle.

We, that is my son and I, got massively into Bionicle 3 years ago, and for months we built our own original aswell as the "set" characters, and watched the little animations on the Lego site, and looked for them in fleamarkets, in sales, and bought more pieces online, and built more of them. It was totally absorbing. He also gained "source" material for another two years of stories in play. And has played most of the free online games of Bionicle too now. The older ones are a lot better than the recent stuff.

My son goes through phases when he will do almost nothing but one thing, for a few days intensely, before lightening up, and feeling the need to go out, walk, talk, do something different.

I know I/we should get out more, some weeks, but I/we get so into things it's difficult to pull my/ourself away.

No ill effects yet. He seems to exercise himself, moving around etc. And he does karate twice a week. It's me thats suffering from the lack of movement the last 2 years; previously we lived places where there were reasons to walk half an hour to get somewhere several times a week.

I find this to be true even during the school year. If we leave our youngest alone for very long, he gets antsy and angry and we have to work to pull him out of himself.

It does not take much, just a five minute break from his activity that can be anything from a potty break, snack break, chore break *this is generally a made up chore just for him* or just a 'Hey, how you doin?' break.

We will spend one week planing our summer out. Everything from who will make breakfast, *the boys* to when to go on our hikes.

But oh boy, there will be plenty of down time. Mo'ma is in school and needs to study.

That's so cool that you guys were into Bionicle too! I haven't gotten into them too much myself, but I appreciate what incredibly interesting toys they are. It astounds me how quickly my sons can build them, and their original creations are amazing. They also go on lego.com and make comic books etc. with Bionicle characters and themes. They actually have a blog where one of them is working on a Bionicle story right now, and I am planning on helping them to do some Bionicle stop motion videos this summer (if I can figure out the software ).

And back to the topic of schedules...



It sounds like your son is pretty good at self regulating. I would surmise that sometimes homeschooled/unschooled kids have an opportunity to learn this skill sooner? More personal responsibility over their own time at younger ages? Or perhaps it's just a personal attribute of your son's... Either way my sons are not good at self regulating at this point. They have a hard time figuring out when they are tired, hurt, hungry, sick etc., let alone trying to figure out when they are over or under stimulated, need social contact, a change of scenery etc. So it is very helpful to them at this point for us to provide a framework that keeps their day kind of balanced and healthy. I also have a hard time self regulating. I have to constantly remind myself of what needs to be done or what would be healthy for myself, or I will simply lose myself in books or on the computer, while my life crumbles around me. So I find I have to be somewhat strict with myself to keep things running smoothly.

That being said, we do have days where we just chuck the schedule out the window (not literally!) and do whatever the heck we please all day. We call them pyjama days, because that's what we wear, and they are the best days of all!