post traumatic stress

Post Reply New Topic

My daughter age 16 now was attacked three years ago by some other children.She has aspergers.Any suggestions to overcome the fear she still feels when crowds of teenagers are about.We have been to counselling but they only said she looked at it through negative glasses.She says self defence is pointless she would be too scared to use it.

My first thought is self defense for women is probably the best thing any mother can do for her daughter. (I taught karate and self defense for 13 years so I guess I'm biased). However, having a good program that teaches the woman how not to be a victim is the key. But I do understand her reluctance.

So on to the PTSD. First there are several really good books (with accompanying workbooks) you can get at Barnes and Noble/Borders or the like. They offer numerous strategies on how to self calm and help yourself keep the panic at bay. These do not say do this and your problem is solved. They say try this or try that, and offer helpful suggestions on what many people say has worked for them. It did wonders for me (yes I have a Severe PTSD dx as well). It teaches (scripts you in a way) how to realize when you are starting to panic and helps you to minimize that. It is not a cure all. But it can help. Also, the doc sounds like a very bad fit for your daughter. Have you tried taking her to someone with a better fit for her? I'm sure you have thought of that and I know its hard. Sometimes having a safe person (maybe a nice girl who could help her along as needed?) can help until she is more confident in herself.

Looking at it through "negative glasses"? Who exactly is your daughter seeing?
I would recommend a PTSD specialist instead. : )
In the meantime, as an Aspie with severe PTSD I would recommend she learn some grounding techniques.

change therapists

Lol, I love bluntness of that.

My observation is that it is really difficult to deal with what essentially are panic attacks. It is such a gut level reaction, and as with everything else, it's probably amplified in a child who is AS. You can't push them through it. Only they can choose to confront the fear, and they have to develop a process for that internally. It is probably a bit like my son with dogs. A large dog licked his face when he was 18 months old and he has been terrified ever since. Still, he has slowly allowed himself to get to know the dogs of friends and family ... I can see the process in him, he is working on it, and I think he will eventually overcome it. But this is a process for a decade(s), not a few years.

So, your daughter can slowly find a way to get comfortable with groups. Starting with the small. Slowly increasing in size. And she can learn techniques for self-calming, for working herself through the panic attacks. But expect this to take a long time. I don't think 3 years is enough.

I have noticed most NTs forget things really quickly. People with Aspergers don't tend to forget as easily. For them they can recall the event perfectly months or even weeks later. So what takes an NT days will take an Aspergers person months. I don't know what the solution is. Time helps but it takes a lot more than an NT. Self defense classes should reduce the fear somewhat. It makes you believe in yourself. It isn't necessarily about defending yourself.

ttyl

Tell her she is the only one who can change her feelings. Her therapist can help, her parents and family can help. But the healing has to come from her.

Also, let her know it is ok to feel feelings of uneasiness or even fear when she is in a similar situation, but to begin to work on not letting it overwhelm her. It won't happen over night, but it will happen eventually. Perhaps self defense classes would be great for her.

One more thing, she does not have to 'get over it' as some people say. Some things you just don't. But you learn to live with that pain so you can learn to live with joy again.

Thank you every one for your advice we have both read them all. I still think self defence but she not agreeing.gonna have to give it more time

Your daughter seems to be having symptoms of PTSD which is post traumatic stress disorder.

It isn't simply a matter of taking self defense, as the fear and memories will still remain.

Finding someone who understands PTSD will be very helpful.

Many people with AS have had also abuse in their lives due to the bullying that is often also present.

Bullying doesn't just come from other students, it can come from anyone who misunderstands AS.

PTSD causes a reliving of the traumatic event, and it's not something one can simply forget, NT people can have PTSD as well.

Sometimes the triggers can be visual, sometimes emotional, sometimes a sound.

Just taking the defense class may trigger the memories, so really, at least take a multi-faceted approach, work on the PTSD, and then perhaps empowerment.

i've personally dealt with PTSD. at different points in time, i have either been willing to discuss/not willing to discuss the issues that led to my dx of PTSD. i never took self-defense classes-have a bad knee....i did, however, end up changing therapists. i felt that my old therapist was pushing too hard for me to overcome the PTSD. my new therapist is wonderful.we go at my pace & are sort of treating my PTSD "through the back door"- that is, we are working on the symptoms of PTSD & not on discussing the actual issues that led to PTSD.