I kind of hope my son is an Aspie.

Page 1 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Arevelion
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2018
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 348
Location: VT

24 May 2018, 9:35 pm

It's as the tittle says. Any questions?



Arganger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2018
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,707
Location: Colorado

25 May 2018, 9:57 am

I understand that completely, and I honestly think I would have a hard time raising a deeply NT child as I don't understand it. I keep hoping my six month old brother will be autistic but so far he isn't showing many signs so probably not. I plan on adopting children myself, and I would feel far more comfortable adopting an autistic child than an NT child.


_________________
Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia


Trogluddite
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2016
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,075
Location: Yorkshire, UK

25 May 2018, 12:01 pm

I wonder, what motivates this hope? (NB: assuming that the son is real rather than hypothetical.)
- That you believe being an Aspie is inherently superior.
- That you would have a closer relationship through being more similar in thought and temperament.
- He has remarkable traits for which you seek an explanation.
- That you fear some alternative explanation of remarkable traits.
- Some other which I have not imagined.


_________________
When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.


Arevelion
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2018
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 348
Location: VT

25 May 2018, 5:13 pm

Trogluddite wrote:
I wonder, what motivates this hope? (NB: assuming that the son is real rather than hypothetical.)


My wife's due date is August 5th.

Trogluddite wrote:
- That you believe being an Aspie is inherently superior.


(Grabs a piece of turkey jerky and chews on it for a little while).

Trogluddite wrote:
- That you would have a closer relationship through being more similar in thought and temperament.


Absolutely! We may not get along with others, but we can always get along with eachother :D ...until he becomes a teenager...yeah

Trogluddite wrote:
- Some other which I have not imagined.


I have no idea how I would raise an NT child, but I am already making plans to make sure my son benefits from early interventions in his school, even looking into schools .



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

25 May 2018, 5:16 pm

It wouldn't be a tragedy if your son turned out to be an Aspie.



Trogluddite
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2016
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,075
Location: Yorkshire, UK

25 May 2018, 5:27 pm

Arevelion wrote:
(Grabs a piece of turkey jerky and chews on it for a little while).

:lol: Good answer! I didn't realise how provocative that suggestion might sound until it was too late, my apologies if it offended at all! :oops:


_________________
When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.


Arevelion
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2018
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 348
Location: VT

25 May 2018, 8:24 pm

Trogluddite wrote:
Arevelion wrote:
(Grabs a piece of turkey jerky and chews on it for a little while).

:lol: Good answer! I didn't realise how provocative that suggestion might sound until it was too late, my apologies if it offended at all! :oops:


Not a problem. We're autistic. Blurting out provocative things without comprehending the consequences until it's too late is what we do. But it's something I have been thinking about for quite a while. When I first found out my autism really was I thought of myself as failed life form, something that had to be selected out for the good of the human gene pool. Most people I knew of with my disability were ill fated. They ended up living in poverty, or getting rapped repeatedly, or some combination of the two. Therefore my every faculty was dedicated to how I was going to survive my disability.

Yet now that I'm living a steady life I am staring to think survival isn't the only thing that matters. Sure a NT will beat an autistic person nearly every time when it comes to competing in a cold, hard, Darwinian, world, but what about making that world a better place to survive in the first place? I'm just not sure NTs are better at that. In fact I am staring to think it's the reverse, if only because I feel safer, and more myself around other autistic people.

Arganger wrote:
I understand that completely, and I honestly think I would have a hard time raising a deeply NT child as I don't understand it. I keep hoping my six month old brother will be autistic but so far he isn't showing many signs so probably not. I plan on adopting children myself, and I would feel far more comfortable adopting an autistic child than an NT child.


It sounds like we're thinking the same thing for the most part.



Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,382

30 May 2018, 4:24 am

I have two sons. Though I love them both, there's no question that I understand my AS son better than my NT son. We're just on the same wavelength.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


elsapelsa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 840

30 May 2018, 8:21 am

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
I have two sons. Though I love them both, there's no question that I understand my AS son better than my NT son. We're just on the same wavelength.


Same for me. My aspie daughter and I are very similar whereas my younger (most likely NT daughter) is much more similar to her dad. My two children couldn't be more different.


_________________
"I will file you under "L" for people I love most. "


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 May 2018, 8:24 am

My brother is the one who is understood best by both my parents. He's as NT as they come.

Even though my mother claims that I am her "golden child."



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

08 Jun 2018, 10:38 pm

Be careful what you wish for! :evil: I'm an aspie, and I was MISERABLE; I knew that word, and used it even before I could say it properly. At age 5, I started hating my life and wishing for death. At age 8, I was making suicide plans and praying to god to take my life. At age 12, I had some suicide plans laid out, written down, and hidden in my desk. Thankfully, that's when I also discovered alcohol, and started sneaking liquor from my parents' cabinet. Better than any therapy or deep breathing crap that clueless NT adults pushed on me. I still drink frequently to this day. Today, I'm floored in a sad way, about how detailed and "failproof" my suicide plans were.

For the record, I was seeing a therapist at the time. But she was such a blithering idiot, that I saw no point in telling her anything. Because last time I told her something less serious, she made things worse: she rubbed my sadness and problems in my face, by asking me rhetorical questions and acting patronizing with me. So I just drank my alcohol, and kept the therapist placated, by fabricating "easy" problems like test anxiety.



Arganger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2018
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,707
Location: Colorado

09 Jun 2018, 6:36 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Be careful what you wish for! :evil: I'm an aspie, and I was MISERABLE; I knew that word, and used it even before I could say it properly. At age 5, I started hating my life and wishing for death. At age 8, I was making suicide plans and praying to god to take my life. At age 12, I had some suicide plans laid out, written down, and hidden in my desk. Thankfully, that's when I also discovered alcohol, and started sneaking liquor from my parents' cabinet. Better than any therapy or deep breathing crap that clueless NT adults pushed on me. I still drink frequently to this day. Today, I'm floored in a sad way, about how detailed and "failproof" my suicide plans were.

For the record, I was seeing a therapist at the time. But she was such a blithering idiot, that I saw no point in telling her anything. Because last time I told her something less serious, she made things worse: she rubbed my sadness and problems in my face, by asking me rhetorical questions and acting patronizing with me. So I just drank my alcohol, and kept the therapist placated, by fabricating "easy" problems like test anxiety.


Depression =/= autism, even if it is related. And stop advocating alcoholism to solve problems, it's dangerous.


_________________
Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia


Arevelion
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2018
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 348
Location: VT

09 Jun 2018, 6:53 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Be careful what you wish for! :evil: I'm an aspie, and I was MISERABLE; I knew that word, and used it even before I could say it properly. At age 5, I started hating my life and wishing for death. At age 8, I was making suicide plans and praying to god to take my life. At age 12, I had some suicide plans laid out, written down, and hidden in my desk. Thankfully, that's when I also discovered alcohol, and started sneaking liquor from my parents' cabinet. Better than any therapy or deep breathing crap that clueless NT adults pushed on me. I still drink frequently to this day. Today, I'm floored in a sad way, about how detailed and "failproof" my suicide plans were.

For the record, I was seeing a therapist at the time. But she was such a blithering idiot, that I saw no point in telling her anything. Because last time I told her something less serious, she made things worse: she rubbed my sadness and problems in my face, by asking me rhetorical questions and acting patronizing with me. So I just drank my alcohol, and kept the therapist placated, by fabricating "easy" problems like test anxiety.


Well I don't doubt that extreme depression and suicidal thoughts are things that could happen to my son. On the other hand, it's no secret what I am getting into. I have NLD and my wife has aspergers. Also I am so glad that alcohol is...helping you? To be honest that sounds like an interesting thread in and of it's self. I mean there's been other threads about drugs, but a thread specific to the idea that alcohol can help someone with autism might be interesting.



Arevelion
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2018
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 348
Location: VT

09 Jun 2018, 6:54 pm

Arganger wrote:

Depression =/= autism, even if it is related. And stop advocating alcoholism to solve problems, it's dangerous.


I don't like alcohol ether, but I am nonetheless would be interested if he started a thread about it. We can counter what he says if we like.



jimmy m
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,281
Location: Indiana

02 Jul 2018, 11:33 am

A due date of 5 August is right around the corner. I will pray that the birth goes well and your child will be wonderful and be a great joy to you and your wife.


_________________
Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."


Magna
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,932

02 Jul 2018, 11:45 am

I have three children and I believe our youngest who is 9 is on the spectrum. He's had trouble with social interaction in school all along, takes things literally, is very particular about what he will or won't wear, etc. He's can be the king of meltdowns. He's like I was in many ways when I was his age.

It's interesting that many parents are saying they identify more with their ASD child than their NT children. I guess I can see that, but the problem I have with our youngest son is that since he and I are alike, we very easily trigger each other. When he starts to "ramp up" it triggers that in me. I have to have my NT wife take over oftentimes to try to calm him down because even though it's not intentional, I can end up making things worse with him.