Teacher/School do not believe my son's HFA diagnosis

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This summer my son (almost 9 years old) was diagnosed with HFA, ADHD, chronic motor tics and dysgraphia. The diagnosis was completed by a very well reputed pediatric neuropsychologist. The doctor said that although my son was diagnosed as HFA he is so much on the borderline it is helpful to think of him in terms of having Aspergers for many practical purposes.

Okay, that's all fine and good, but the School District's Special Services Director sat there in the first IEP meeting and said she didn't see that the diagnosis was clear in the report. Okay, so we had the doctor send a clarification letter. In the meantime, the school counselor called my son's therapist and told her that the school does not believe the diagnosis. She said she spent a great deal of time convincing him that she completely supports the doctor's diagnosis.

Then, I got a call from my son's teacher who was talking about a particularly bad "tantrum" he had in class the day before. It was so major that it scared the other children. I explained that what he'd had was a meltdown and that those occur with Autistic children when they are stressed. She told me flatout that she doesn't believe that he is Autistic. She believes that he has ADHD, nothing more. Further more, she intimated that his meltdowns are nothing more than tantrums when he doesn't get his way.

I think one of the major difficulties is a problem with a misconception that all Autistic/Aspergers people are introverted. My son is an extrovert. He is in your face all of the times, which makes him even more irritating to those who don't/won't understand him. He also does pretty well with eye contact, so he doesn't meet this perceived notion of the Autistic child. So, I think that because of this he does not meet their idea of what an Autistic child should be like. And yet he meets the other criteria completely: he has no clue about socially acceptable behavior or other people's feeling; he has one overriding obsession (snails); has sensory issues (mostly tastes and sounds); meltdowns; need for routines; etc.

I mentioned to his teacher that it might be helpful, as the doctor mentioned, to think of him in terms of having Aspergers, but she said she really didn't know much about Aspergers and kind of dismissed it. I sent her an email with several links to sites/articles about Aspergers but she hasn't responded to my email other than to let me know she received it.

I'm not sure where to go from here. For the most part, I like his teacher, but I don't believe that she can really understand how to work with him if she doesn't believe he is Autistic. And as for the whole IEP process, I'm not sure what we're going to have to do to convince the school district to provide the services he needs as an Autistic child when they don't agree that he is Autistic.

It's so frustrating.

Man, this is frustrating. You should know that although not a common response, these people at school are responding

-- in a way that is typical of people who don't have an awareness of Autism/Asperger's
-- in a way that is common of an administration who may be trying to save money by not recognizing the diagnosis

If this situation continues, you are within your rights to sue the school. There is a very good chance that if you even just THREATEN to sue, the special services director and the teacher will very probably wake up and take notice and do what you ask in terms of services. Of course, you probably don't want to sue, as even threatening will make the school administration wary of you and your son, but if they aren't recognizing his needs, the situation could go from bad to worse.

Also, there may be a situation where the school, rather than deal with your son, might be happy to fund an alternative situation -- i.e. a smaller school that has the capability to deal with asperger students, but he might need to be bused to this location. A charter school, or some other option that would be helpful to him.

When we had a similar problem in Caifornia, we had to bring various people to IEP meetings such as therapists, to support us when discussing our son's education with a very negative and resistant school administration.

I hope that you can find ways to combat this situation.

It's frustrating in general when people refuse to believe that people with Asperger's Syndrome are looking for attention, or over exaggerating their problems. I know it's terrible to say this, but sometimes it gets to the point where you think "Well if I acted more Autistic, then would they help me?" It's a part of the issue with invisble disability, they don't see it so they don't have to care.

People really don't understand that for Aspies they don't fit in anywhere. They're not NT enough to have NT friends, they're not Autistic enough to get the support they need.

Having aspergers may explain meltdowns, but in no way excuses them. The teacher cannot be expected to tolerate these outbursts - especially when the other children are being frightened and emotionally harmed.

Unlike aspergers, ADHD can be easily treated. If your son does have this, and your own description says that he does, then he needs to be on ritalin or other stimulant to calm him down.

Just tell the teacher that they are a danger to your child every time they sit in their class. For your child this can have a damaging affect on your child. This also falls in line with neglect and this is not looked upon too kindly amongst many groups of people.
At this point you call tell the teacher that they are not a teacher and therefore not qualified to be with young children if they fail to meet the needs that are required of them.

We had the best elementary school, and I was really hopeful about the middle school after meeting the resource team (the speech and OT specialists TOTALLY "get" AS), but the teachers ... it is becoming apparent that that is a different story.

In your case, if can't convince the resource team, how are you going to convince the teacher? The teachers generally rely on resource for ideas on what to do.

Some of the things that helped prevent my son from having meltdowns in elementary school, and that you should be fighting for on behalf of your son, include:

Permission to dictate certain assignments, instead of writing them
Permission to go to a specified "safe place" (an anti room or resource) when feeling overloaded - NO QUESTIONS ASKED
Permission to use certain sensory tools in class
Possible preferred seating
Unlimited time on testing
Permission to shorten assignments when visually overwhelmed

I know there are more, I'm just not thinking of them at the moment ...

If they don't want to do an IEP, at least get a 504 (accomodations). An IEP is better, you get services, but it is paying for these that may be exactly what the school is trying to avoid with their denial. See if they are willing to go with a 504, that would at least be a start.

AS is often mistakenly diagnosed as ADHD but, unfortunately, AS isn't going to be solved with drugs.

It is frustrating, and I have such a hard time believing that the school doesn't accept the diagnosis of a reputable professional.

Be careful of stimulants. My son actually takes Strattera for his ADD. It isn't a stimulant, and consequently the mood swings don't exists. This works on anxiety, which we know is a component of Autism, and the meltdowns are greatly reduced.

Just one word on an alternate perception...is it fair to your child, and the other children? It's hard enough for teachers to deal with age appropriate issues...but if they have to deal with one child over the others when they are having meltdowns, would it not be more fair to have him in a school where they know how to deal with it? He'll get the attention he needs, and with more specialized staff. I don't know the extent of things, so I'm just throwing things out there.

Good luck.

You don't mention if you are from the states or elsewhere. That can make a difference with the legal issues.

Our school did not believe the diagnosis of Asperger's either. So I wrote a letter and asked "what SPECIFICALLY does the school need for documentation?? Because my son clearly meets the federal and state criteria for Aspergers. And the report from the neuropsychologist is the data to back this up. What more do you need for proof of this diagnosis?" And asked that their reply be in writing. I also copied our state Dept of Education Appeals division.

They accepted.

You mentioned that the teacher SAID she didn't think he had Asperger's but didn't know much about it. Teachers do not have time to read page after page of information. Nor do they have time to read books. What I did to help them was find a list of all the Asperger's "symptoms" that my son CLEARLY had. And then wrote specific data (in a clear, easy-to-read format) about my son under each item. Yes - it was a lot of work. But it helped them to understand a little more.

Many times schools are afraid to accept the diagnosis because they simply do not know what to do. And these days, many towns are maxed out in their special education funds or resources.

Your son DOESN'T need drugs. Don't do it.

I love the hype of "Drugs fix everything" or a recent favourite "How long until they are cured?" Some people are stereotypical, if they don't meet their views then they are not what you tell them. Doesn't help that they haven't even bothered to spend a few minutes researching. I am sure there is internet access at the school the teachers can use?

Buy, beg borrow steal, Tony Attwoods " a complete guide to Asperger's Syndrome " give it to the teacher with a bar of chocolate , and say.. I thought you might find this book helpful, I think it describes my son well in many respects. I will be interested to know your thoughts after you've had a read through it

If you have enough money, buy a copy for the school to live in the staff room .....education is the key !

It might be safer for her to just offer the book first. Or better yet, offer to have the child's doctor compile a list of suggested reading, and then offer to purchase them for the teacher/school. I have found some people (professionals with degrees) do not always take kindly to being handed reading material. The suggestion can even be off-putting. If the teacher is really interested in learning about Asperger's they will most likely do it on their own.

I am in the professionals with a degree catagory and I am always more than happy to look over any information that a parent presents me. Any professional worth their salt would do the same, to assume that I know it all , and I have nothing more to learn would be very short sighted and ignorant. However this teacher sounds like she is very resistant.

It's nice to know you are out there. My experience was teachers either had no problem with my child at all or insisted on pills. I once really irked a guidance counselor by bringing in a book on Asperger's. I was just saying it is sometimes safer to approach things a little diplomatically.

lol you are probably right, everyone needs to approach it from a point of view that they are comfortable with.
I also have a son with special needs - a whole gamut of them, and I tend to approach it from the " I expect you to do the right things for my child, or you are going to hear about it" point of view.
I have little patience for teachers that have no time and cannot be bothered actually attending to their own education and extending their own skills and knowledge. I had some rather strong words several times with my son's first teacher ( for many of the same reasons the OP is talking about )
I guess word got around in the school that I was one of those " difficult " mothers.. I have had no problems since.. this year my son's teacher is just wonderful!

On the whole I have found most people to be very receptive and willing to learn and listen. As someone else mentioned.. often the people that are most resistant , are the ones that lack confidence in themselves and feel they do not have the knowledge to do a good job, so they appear very defensive.

^Also, I did not mean for that to sound offensive. When reading back over it, I see I should have worded it differently. It does seem to imply the 'some people' are 'people with degrees' rather than...some people with degrees. I always felt rather intimidated during all of the conferences and IEP meetings. It seemed like everyone was telling me they knew what was better for my son than I did, and I was inclined to believe them. They were all much older, more educated, and had years of experience working with children. I was just a young mom with a little boy. If they would have had it their way, I would have been feeding him pills at five and he was not even hyper.

The way I see it .. is that I am there as a resource for the parent, I have skills and knowledge that I can pass on to them, but they are the experts on their own child.