My wonderfull wonderfull son..

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This is my first post. My sons name is Chris and he is 5 years old. I have known his whole life that he was special. He never played with other kids, he never understood them or could express himself to them. From age two we stopped going to the local parks, library and even our church. He can become very aggressive, hitting bitting scratching and cussing if a child came around him, touched him or his toys, or if the area became loud. He was "asked to leave" his daycare and Pre-k was a nightmare. We kept him in speech therapy during the summer and we had an IEP for speech therapy at his school. Well... kindergarten started and I just knew he would have a hard time. The new school, the loud noises, the new kids the lights......I tried to explain to the new teacher (first year teaching) about Chris. She assured me that he would be fine and I was worrying too much. First day of school I pick him up and there is a note explaining that he sent two kids to minor care for biting them on the face, slapped the teacher and bit 3 other teachers. This continued on for two more days and finally a meeting was called. An IEP was asked for a behavior and occupation therapy. We decided to pull him out of all day kindergarten and do half days. He was not allowed on the school bus, the gynm and the cafeteria. These are the places that are hardest for him. So we continued on with our half day school waiting for the two IEP's to get started and Chris got worse. I paid privately to get him tested in hopes that the test would help the school move along with their testing. He was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers and he was functioning at a three year old.. But still he continued to attend his regulr classes and continued to hurt his piers and teachers. All I could do is wait for the test at the school to get done. They have 9 weeks to respond and my son was not going to make it. So I started calling the schools special ed admin. everyday 3 times a day until I finally got her on the phone. I called the principal and teacher every day. I bugged the crap out of those people. Well...He kicked his speech therapist in the stomach and punched her repeatedly in the stomach. She is 8 months pregnant. He knew she was pregnant. I was DONE. I pulled him out of school and told the school that he was not coming back till he could be in a school that could meet his needs. I could not allow him to hurt anyone else. But is paid off...We had yet another meeting for Chris a week later and I walked in and there sat the school district administrative representative, recourse director, and a whole butch of people that I had been calling. I thought to myself...We DID IT!!
They bypassed all of his IEP's and decided to send him to a special education class an another school. He would start the next day! I felt a weight lift off of me. I could finally breath. He has been at his new school for 8 days now and he is doing wonderfully! The class room is set up by a doctor who specializes in Autism and Aspergers! I could not be happier! On the third day there he finally picked up a pencil and drew a picture of his brother! The teachers are wonderful and Chris is thriving.
I have always felt alone with Chris. I try to talk to my friends and they just don't get it. I feel like NO one understands what me and my husband go through. My husband quit his job to stay at home with him because no daycare would take him. He is a challenge and a challenge that is worth fighting for. Any advise or just to hear a similar "Chris" story would be wonderful.
May be peace be with you.
Cat

Oh, Cat, it sounds like all I can do is comiserate. If you look at my post from few days ago, you'll see that my son got "disenrolled" from his daycare just last week, for pushing some children and peeing on the teacher (she feels it was deliberate). It sounds like you're on the right track (please know there will probably be setbacks anyway) and I wish you luck - and send you support.

You'll find lots of support here. I think most people on parents' discussion have been trhough similar things.

I am so glad, SO glad that you have found a school that is working for him. To find that now, this early into his education, is a huge blessing. All our kids CAN thrive, they just have to be in the right place. What a gift that you've found it!

Not that this is the end, of course. Things change, the challenges change, but as a proactive parent tuned into what your child is saying through his actions, I am sure you will find the answers. Not that it will be easy, but you have the tools.

I do often wish it was easier for the rest of the world to see the gifts our children bring, for my son brings many, but I guess most of the world won't figure it out until his first great invention hits the market. As long as I can keep him thriving until then. Middle School has brought new challenges and frustrations, but I do believe they can be met, I'm just still the midst of it right now.

My son never did group care (tried, failed, hired a nanny), and preschool was a high wire act. We did have to change quite a few things in order to meet his needs. But we all do what we have to do, best we can, and somehow we get through. At least I had good friends who bit their tongues and never blamed me for the behavior problems they ended up witnessing. That was a blessing. But knowing what it is and what it means, that has been key. I am so glad you know, and the school has responded.

so wonderful that you finally feel supported, and that he finally feels comfortable

Highway9,
Congratulations! You are obviously a wonderful advocate for your son. He is going to need that consistently throughout his schooling, so keep up the good work. From my own experiences, if a spectrum child is unhappy or acting out at school - it means something is definitely wrong with either the environment or the people in it. As long as your son is happy at school, (and at home) then he will continue to thrive.