food snatching - why is it wrong?

Post Reply New Topic

My son has started to steal food from other peoples plates, even forks
He steals what he finds irresistable for example meatballs, and it causes total havoc as we try to overman him to get it back before he stuffs it into his mouth - usually we're not fast enough. Mayhem and chaos....
Sending him to his room isn't helping. I've tried letting everybody else have more and make him miss out, which is childish and isn't working either.

I've been stressed out, and not using social stories/reward systems. I can't even think of a way of explaining too him why he can't do it, that will make sense to him ... and my experience is, that he doesn't change his behaviour until there is an explanation that is "rational" in his world. He rationalizes stealing as him deserving the food, as he knows he likes it more. This is his honest opinion, not him being rude/spoiled/a brat.
Anybody have a good idea for a social story that will make sense to him? "Stealing is wrong" "jail" "what if someone took something from you?" doesn't work.

He has HFA, and ADHD which makes him very, very impulsive. He used to be very well medicated, but at the moment things seem to be going the wrong way....

If explaining about ownership and what is / isn't yours - how would you feel if someone did it to you - isn't working, I'm not sure you can appeal to his rationality at the moment. Which means you are left to the "it's a rule, and you have to follow it" route, which I know is less perfect, but so it goes.

You could, also, maybe compromise a little. Allow stealing from mommy and daddy's plates, but no one else's. That has often worked with my son, to allow certain behaviors within limits.

I would NOT use food in the consequence (that can backfire in other ways), but there will need to be a consequence. I'm not sure what would be appropriate. Or just make it impossible for him to reach any other plates until the habit is broken. That often works really well for us - prevent the issue.

Don't try to explain, he can't understand what he hasn't experienced. Show him. Snatch something of his (that he's eating, whatever). Then when he gets all upset (and he will), apologize and tell him that's how other people feel when he does it to them.

And of course give it (whatever it is) back. You're making a point, not being mean.

If sending him to his room doesn't help, you need to come up with another strategy. How about sticking him outside the back door for a few minutes.

I'm 20 and I still pretty much do this. I've been conditioned to know that I should feel guilty though, and I know and understand the social implications of it. So I don't do it- but sometimes instinct takes over and I forget. I only steal when the person isn't around though.



It's going to be really awkward if I get caught, especially if I'm on a date or something.

ImMelody, I'm liking the idea

Andyfalls you're making me laugh - I'm imagining your date! At this point conditioning sounds good, though...

Next time you have meatballs, maybe you could steal a few of his? When he gets upset, ask him why and then tell him that's why other people don't like it either when their food gets nicked... might work...

If he thinks he deserves more because he likes it more than everyone else, why not just give him more to start with? Then he'll have enough of his own, and won't feel the need to steal from other people's plates.

No, encouraging him to overeat is a really bad idea. If he develops unhealthy eating habits, obesity will haunt him the rest of his life. Adults who are morbidly obese always started out as kids with some kind of emotional hangup surrounding food.

Katrine, please understand I am not trying to tell you how to do your job as a parent. None of us are.

Funny I did this as a kid. Used to wander up to strangers and eat off their plates. Not sure if the minded, they probably thought it was quite amusing.

Because I can’t actually remember doing it, I can’t tell you how I learnt how not to do it. It is just one of the things my parents joke about.

I did catch Hep A from putting all sorts in my mouth.

Actually eating habits are often determined by what you eat as a young child not the fact you are given the choice to eat more. Given the choice to eat more doesn't necessarily result in you eating to excess. This has been show in experiments. Especially if the range of food is restricted to contain food the suppress apatite such as some proteins. If the subject has already got an eating disorder then of course given to the choice to eat what they want they will.

Giving young children foods that are high in fat, salt, and sugar, too often is addictive and also is programming their likes and dislikes in later life.

Whilst you may develop more mature tastes in food in later life the rage of food one eats is supposed to be heavily influenced by what you were given as a young child. It changes your perception of food. Often people who eat a lot of fast food have difficultly tasting subtle flavours therefore will find other foods quite bland and will need a daily fix of fat, salt and sugar.

It is thought to be combinations of those three rather than in isolation that is so addictive.

I am going to try the stealing/ social story on the other side of New Year. have to get my act together!
Tough love may work for some kids, but never has worked for this little guy. He doesn't get the connection between what he has done and the consequence. He's not dull witted - on the contrary! But his brain works very differntly. We send him to his room, but it has never taught him anything - we do it for the other kids sense of justice. BTW it works wonders with the other two boys!! !

As for eating habits: did you know what you eat when you are pregnant influences the childs preferences later in life! Small molekyles make there way to the a water the baby swims in. Weird!