Sickening disgusting people.

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I see them almost every time we go out, and they sicken and disgust me. They're mean and rude to their kids but they expect their kids to be nice and polite.. They threaten to punish them for being upset (and the kids weren't upset at them, just upset). They call their kids names like spoiled brat. Even if the kid did or said something bratty, that doesn't make him a brat. One mother told her son in an angry voice to sit down when he wasn't running around or anything, he was just standing up in a waiting room. Why force him to sit down? It makes no sense.


Why do they sound angry at their kids or annoyed or impatient with them? Why do they take that tone with them? Why do they give them dirty looks? Even if they did something bad, why sound angry or annoyed or give them dirty looks? Why not just calmly, happily deal with it? Why be so mean? Why do they say stuff like "I'm very disappointed in you."? Why don't they at least just say that they're disappointed by what the kid DID, rather than by him?


When I get angry or impatient with my son, I feel horrible. I know that he doesn't deserve it and that I'm a sickening, disgusting person who should be in jail. I'm serious; I think those parents should go to jail for emotionally abusing/damaging their kids. And sometimes I'm one of them. Once I gave my son a dirty look. I know you'll say that's nothing, but that's where it starts.


Emotional abuse is the worst abuse ever. It's at least as bad as physical or sexual abuse. When my parents made some of the mistakes I mentioned above, like sounding angry (and anger is hatred) and calling me names, I felt like everything was my fault, and later when I realized that I wasn't, I felt like they thought it was all my fault.


Please don't do any of that to your kids.


Do any of you feel the way I do? Do any of you feel bad about how you treat your kids or see the way a parent handles their kid in public and tell yourself you'll never treat your child like that?

Just the other day I was at the store with my mother and this lady was being very, very rude to her children. Her children weren't doing anything horribly wrong yet she was yelling at them all through the isles (we kept seeing her a lot). It was like she just wanted everyone to think her kids were horrible and for us to pity her.

On the way out she told one of the children that she was going to abandon him at the store and even left him there while she went outside to prove some kind of point, what she was trying to accomplish with that I'm not sure of.

People like that make me really angry.

Oh, I once saw a horrible one at Wal-Mart about 7 years ago at Christmas shopping time.

She was there with her daughter, who looked to be around 5, and the girl seemed a bit cranky with a slightly whiny tone of voice. All of a sudden, her mother snapped at her and said "Well, you don't deserve a Christmas".

Another one was actually in the same Wal-Mart about 4 years ago.

She was there with her son, and the son was crying a bit and said "But I don't want to move to Transcona, I want to stay in Winnipeg." The mother then proceeded to say this (I'm serious):

"Transcona is in Winnipeg. Idiot. God, stop crying. You're 4, act like it. Damn it."

I hate seeing stuff like that so much that it makes me want to avoid places where parents and children are seen together, like supermarkets and department stores.

It's just because it reminds me of being treated like that when I was a child and how it made me feel.

But now I understand why my parents treated me that way. It was a combination of stress, mental illness, and the abuse involved in their relationship with each other. So I basically forgive them.

We can all agree that verbal abuse is bad, especially when there is an ongoing pattern of it, but if you ever snap and yell at your kids, please, don't beat yourself up over it. A) It's perfectly human to do so, and B) the guilt will only make it worse for you.

Two-and-three-year-olds are just about the most frustrating creatures on earth. They will test every limit you have. My son outwits me on a daily basis, and generally depletes my energy, every day. He does things that don't make sense to me. I try to explain concepts to him, but 3 year old logic =/= adult logic. Today I could only get him to leave the house so that I could be on time for work if I let him carry a Xmas present. Why that worked, I have no idea. He didn't want to open it, but he liked the idea that he had an important job to do, I guess.

But anyway, I have a warning: the more judgemental you are with yourself, the more judgemental you will be with your child. Start trying now, to be calm, and pick your priorities/battles. It's good that you know what things you shouldn't do, as a parent. But take it easy on yourself. We're all human.

It is horrible, awful. I am just waiting for the day I hear a parent treat their child like that and then see the parent at a meeting because their child is acting up (work for a school). That day, I will seriously tell the parent that perhaps the problem is them not the child. There are so many times that the problem is not with the children but with the parents because the parents don't treat kids well at all. Respect goes both ways.

I will never forget when I heard a parent tell their child in the bathroom, "You are just plain stupid, you selfish spoiled brat". The child was just being active at the lunch table. The mother really acting like she had a mental disorder or on drugs. I was ready to call the cops. I would have said something to the parent but I honestly was scared of her and was worried she would have taken it out on her child later. They left two minutes later.

I do believe kids need to have consequences if they can't control their behavior (i.e., if they are overstimulated but don't have the ways to tell you and haven't been taught what to do). If they can, consequences are needed but not verbal abuse.

I think it's because a lot of parents don't have the kind of reasoning you do. They need to take parenting classes. They don't realize that you are suppose to say, "I am upset that you did...." Instead of I am upset at you." I honestly believe some of those parents don't have extremely high cognitive skills or they were abused as children themselves so that is the only communication they know. They probably don't have a lot of good communication skills with anyone. In addition, some of them may be dealing with a mental condition themselves (i.e., bipolar, adhd, etc) and they may also be overstimulated. If they are, they probably are not medicated.

I work with a lot of these parents in the school setting. Not all children who have behavior problems are from parents who are similar but a lot of them do. Children who have parents like that often became anxious, depressed, or act out in school. Again, there are some very great parents out there with children who have emotional difficulties but sometimes it's obvious why a child is having difficulties. You can talk with some parents over and over and they may never get it, don't care or seriously think their way is the best way.

It is even worse if the child is on the ASD, has ADHD or some other learning disability. The depression, anxiety and/or acting out behavior is even more intensified. Those kids are already trying so hard.

it is just awful to see children treated in this manner. unfortunately, i see it way too often. once, a long time ago, i actually stepped in and said something to the parent- boy, i sure got handed my own ass.............now, i usually just shake my head and look the other way. if the child is in danger of being physically hurt, i will always step in- emotional abuse/neglect however, statistically speaking, are the most reported abuse & the least acted upon by authorities

Kramer, it's called GENTLE discipline. Discipline is teaching, not punishment.

2ukenkerl-- thanks for the compliment.

I'm so glad so many people agree with me that this behavior is inexcusable! Maybe I was being harsh when I said they should go to jail, but they should get psychiatric help, anyway... possibly while in jail.

i once saw a mother in the street, a busy street, grab her sons arm and yell at him "why do you have to be such an idiot" i hate that.
i thought that i was an abusive mother for years before i found out that he had autism, i felt like i must be doing something wrong if he rages at me so much and i have to physically restrain him so he didn't hurt himself. i've carried guilt for years so did not jusdge these parents, i just hated that they did it in public.

now, its like, i would give anything to either take awaywhat my son deals with or to have him just be a normal mischevious boy, i would revel in it, not put him down for it.
some parents don't know when they are lucky, and some parents treat their children as if they are just a nuesence, why have them in the first place then????? makes zero sense to me

I've been one of those terrible parents recently. I could list many excuses as to why but there is no excuse. Now if things are getting heated my daughter goes into time out in one spot and I go into time out in another.

I feel horrible because my NT daughter (5yo) bears the brunt of my stress, when she misbehaves I over react. Her HFA sibling gets away with so much more simply because I've trained myself to understand why Heidi does stuff and the reasons behind it. But in doing that I've fallen behind on my research about why my NT daughter does stuff and the reasons behind it.

NT daughter finished PreSchool and is starting primary school in February, this has to be a huge change for her. And she is bored, she is ready for school and to be challenged in her education. Here I am stressing about Christmas, still grieving for my FIL who passed away in November, anxious and upset about my parents visiting, her sister melting down with the Christmas stuff and totally neglecting my NT daughters needs, then getting angry at NT daughter for acting out and seeking attention.

Somedays its like I'm standing outside myself wondering at what the hell went wrong so quickly that we are in this mess as I watch my and NT daughter fight over something trivial. None of the stuff we've done in the past is working because she has matured and needs us to do new things with her but I'm behind the learning curve here and struggling to figure out what to do.

So for now we both go into time out and I try to use that time to think of better ways of communication with her and things we can do together.

What really sucks is all the good parenting books my friends and family recommend I read - none of them deal with what it is like for a kid to have a special needs sibling and how that changes their development. Emotional NT daughter is far more mature than most of her peers, she is very sensitive. Her PreSchool teacher told me that she is very intelligent and that combined with her more mature emotional response will make her more fragile in many ways but also stronger as she knows what is important in life.

Anyways this post probably makes no sense to anyone but me.