Son can't learn basketball

Post Reply New Topic

We're new to the Asperger's diagnosis for my son, but not to his struggles with learning complex things like basketball. He's in middle school. Around here, basketball, baseball, lacrosse are the way kids socialize. My son just stands there - he can't track the ball or seem to know what to do with his hands. We bought a b'ball net for our driveway. But he doesn't want to play because he finds it too hard. He is last picked in gym. I feel bad for him. He wishes he could figure it out. The gym class situation is getting harder. Not sure how to help him with this or other ball sports. He likes martial arts, but there isn't much socializing in those classes. Would appreciate any ideas.

Children should not be made to play sports if they don't want to. Sports never interested me, and I absolutely hated gym class. If your son doesn't want to play basketball, find out what he does want to do and let him do that instead. Yes, sports is a way for kids to socialize, but it's also a way for kids to make eachother feel worthless. If he doesn't want to play basketball, there is no way you can make him want to. And the more you try to push it on him, the more he'll dislike it (and maybe even you).

Yep!

I'm sure sport is good for a social life, but only if you enjoy it and/or are good at it. I hated sports at school, was humiliated by being picked last every time, and made to feel inferior by those who were good at it.

Let him do what he wants to do, is interested in and enjoys. If he wants to do martial arts, then go for it!

Same with me, just I didn't feel too inferior, since I knew what those guys where worth.

But much later in life I found my sports and nowaday I'm quite fit

Anyway, if he doesn't like ball sports or can't do them for whatever reason, then there is no help to it.
Let him do martial arts. That will do great good to his body coordination and give him at least a bit social contacts. Though I doubt, that the social contacts at basketball are really any better, they may be different, but the ball guys as a general rule are only screaming louder. I think some true friendships are more likely found in martial arts, where respect plays a large part of the training.

does he really want to play- or does he want to figure out how to socialize with the other boys ?
if he really wants to play, try getting books about basketball- have him go to a basketball game, have him watch basketball on tv.......and then be prepared to practice diligently with him..........and be prepared for him to be frustrated & not understand...............

I think this is the best, and most humorous comment on Autism Spectrum people playing sports:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTMLpMgX ... ent_194970

The redhead girl is Chiyo-Chan and she's Aspie and Osaka is the dark haired girl, and I thought she might be like a high functioning Autie but they said she seemed more Aspie. It's never said in the series that the girls are diagnosed, but it's like you can tell they behave in a way that's very much like someone who would be on the Autism spectrum.

I feel the point of this, is it illustrates just how pointless it is to ask most people on the Autism spectrum to play sports. Neither Osaka or Chiyo-Chan can catch the ball cause they're too afraid of it hitting them, which it does to Chiyo-Chan. She even ends up with a volleyball mark on her forehead. When I first saw this I was like, because I felt like "That's how it really is!" Like someone finally understands, how difficult it is for Autism spectrum people to play sports.

I think Azu Manga Daioh is popular with alot of people on the Autism spectrum, cause many of the characters behave in sort of a socially akward way that's considered cute instead of like a problem.

thanks. I'll try to figure out better what he wants out of it - esp in gym class. That's the tough situation. Maybe I should just talk to the teacher. He has success at martial arts which he loves.

A way for kids to make each other feel worthless?

That's complete nonsense. COMPLETE nonsense.

Ever heard of the special olympics?

It's not complete nonsense. The special olympics has nothing to do with what I'm saying. I didn't say sports is just a way for kids to make eachother feel worthless. I said it can be. Team sports in particular make it very easy for some kids to make other kids feel worthless. A kid who doesn't like and/or isn't good at sports and is forced into a team can very easily become a target for various forms of negativity from teammates, as well as general discomfort. I'm not just pulling this out of my ass here, I'm speaking from experience.

In some schools you can use an extracurricular sport as a substitute for gym class. I always admired one of my friends who went to a different high school, and she was able to take bowling, swimming and fencing and never had a gym class at all.

Perhaps in your next meeting with the school you could suggest that his martial arts classes be his gym credit?

Or, if it really gets bad for him, have the doctor write a note to get him out of class for low muscle tone or some other BS reason. Gym class is really one of the worst places for a kid on the spectrum to be.

If you've got a gym class where they are still using school yard picks for teams I think you are facing a huge cultural/institutional issue that your child simply cannot win. My husband still talks about the humility of it, always being last, and our son surely would be last picked if that was the method the school used. Fortunately, it isn't, and as much as I worried about how his middle school PE experience would turn out it seems he is enjoying it. The PE teacher has told the parents and kids that it is all about effort, not talent, and he gave my son an A in PE despite being probably the most uncoordinated kid on the planet. It's a top down attitude that ability doesn't matter, just enthusiasm, and when it's approached that way my son is quite capable of having fun even if he is completely incapable of getting a ball through a basket.

So, start with a nice little talk with that PE teacher. And if he cops an attitude, take it over his head. PE is supposed to encourage a love of physical fitness, not a sense of zero self-worth. Children like my son are capable of enjoying physical activity, and being cardiovascularly fit, and a program that interferes with that in the name of "real life" and "competitiveness" is one to be avoided.

Basically, as with other posters, I don't think you are going to be able to improve your son's abilities much. Practice and tracking exercises will help, but as he improves, the other kids improve more, and he will always be behind.

I think it's great that your son enjoys martial arts, and the focus needs to be on that. It's a great sport, and it shouldn't matter if it isn't what all the other kids do. My son found a lot of joy in soccer for 6 years, and actually played fairly well this year, with some moments his entire team was really proud of. But it's becoming too competitive, so this past fall was his last season. Still, I'm glad he had it, and always had fantastic coaches who made him feel a part of the team even if he wasn't capable of contributing much. I totally know what you are saying about the social aspect, because both my son and I will miss that now that his soccer experience is over, but when you reach the competitive levels or have a competitive attitude there isn't a positive social aspect for the weak link player anyway. Just frustration and disappointment. So there really is zero point in trying to push an untalented child through it; you won't gain what you hope to.

A child who finds his own talent, and shines in his own way, gains respect in that way, and eventually gains friends for it as well. You can't make him into something he isn't, but you can help him shine as the person he is meant to be. You have to flip the thinking, and I know it's tough in an area where sports is everything, even with my son playing soccer I've gone through that every spring and winter, and then when picking summer camps, but we can't ask our kids to live a life that isn't supposed to be theirs.

My son has been active in Boy Scouts since 4th grade and he LOVES it. He is building a lot of friendships there, and since family involvement is important, I am finding that I am, too. He goes camping every single month now, and will be snow camping in March. I can't even imagine, lol. But he has a real affinity for the out of doors, camping, hiking, and so on, and he likes the structure of Boy Scouts with it's check the box badges and rank requirements. As an ultra liberal I had a few issues of my own about being in an organization that has taken some political positions I totally disagree with, but, you know? It has nothing to do with the kids. A lot of AS kids find they fit in well with Boy Scouts, so it is something to consider if you feel your son needs something "more."

Anyway, best of luck to you and your child. I am sure he is a great kid. Just one who can't play basketball.

He may have eye tracking or other visual processing problems. I was just reading that this kind of thing is quite common in persons with AS.
Read this: http://www.cvdaustin.com/vision_exam.htm

I have an idea, but it would cost money. Buy your son a Nintendo Wii, and let him play sports virtually against the Nintendo Wii.

What's the big deal with sports? Don't force him to play sports.

There isnt much you can do about it. The problem isnt a lack of effort, its that the section of his brain that handles things like tracking objects and physical coordination doesnt work right. No amount of effort, or practice is going to fix that. I should know because I was (am) the same way.

I sucked at sports when I was a child, and as a teenager, and still as an adult. I was always picked last for team sports. As a teenager, I was barely coordinated enough to dribble the ball standing still, let alone run with it while dribbling. Trying to actually catch a ball flying through the air while running is something I still cant do. The good news is that I now live independently, have a degree in engineering, work a good job, and live a mostly happy life. Lacking coordination doesnt mean that much in the real world.

I would just avoid sports teams, despite all you hear about them 'building team work' and 'improving self confidence' they dont do either of those things if your teammates despise you for being on the team because you suck horribly. It turns into a horrible experience for everybody involved if you try to force your uncoordinated son to participate in these team activities.

Just write him a note exempting him from gym class, have him go to the library instead. They have to have some option for the children who cant play sports due to injury. As far as opening corridors for socialization, you dont have to make friends with the jocks. There are plenty of other children to make friends with who dont play sports. I'm afraid I cant give you very specific advice without knowing the age of your son, but there are many other options available for social contact if your son wishes to meet other people that do not involve team sports.

dupe - removed

Last edited by EvilTeach on 09 Dec 2008, 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.