Asperger traits in girls

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ok, so you know sometimes when you're around someone's who ill too much you start to think you'll get it? ( you know, like the flu or cancer)............I'm starting to worry that my daughter, age 7, is starting to exhibit some aspie-like qualities ( obsessed with animals, reading...doesn't pick up on social cues at school....messy handwriting).at any rate, I've tried going on-line to look for information on girls and aspergers but most every link refers to the fact that aspergers is primarily a disorder that effects males.........As most of you know, Hubby and Son are aspies...I'm also fairly certain that my brother is as well........how does that pesky genetic link work anyways ? Any advice or information you all can provide would be greatly appreciated !

There are less diagnosed cases of AS in females. But the cause of this difference is disputed. Some say that girls are less likely to have AS, and others say that it is just under-diagnosed in girls.

Personally, I believe the under-diagnosis theory is more correct. Boys and girls grow up in two very different worlds. Boys are required to be highly competetive so any weakness a boy may have is highlighted. If a girl's social developement is slowed, people will just say "oh, she's just shy."

I know feminists hate it, but the truth is women have the option of not striving in life: "Oh, you flunked out of college? That's ok, just marry a man with a good job." Men don't have this option; it's do-or-die for us. So, the performance aspects of Asperger's Syndrome really stand out if you're male.

There have been articles that talk about the differences in AS between men and women...these two came to mind first but they deal primarily with issues facing adults and young adults. Still worth a read.

There's an article at:
http://www.autismtoday.com/articles/Asp ... _Women.htm

Also, Jerry Newport, a respected poster on this site who has appeared in the media numerous times and even has a movie in the works about him and his wife, wrote a great essay a few years ago on the topic of the differences in AS between adult males and females, which is worth reading and touches on some of the points lowfreq50 alluded to. It's at:

http://www.maapservices.org//MAAP_Sub_F ... rticle.htm

Hope this helps!

I can honestly say I agree with most of what you said except this quote, it doesn't quite work perfectly this way in society now that families become more and more dependant on two-income families and away from one which is increasing the pressure on women just as much as men to be successful and independant yet still maintain a relationship, be a parent, etc and not lose their identity. I've yet to hear someone tell any woman I know, "Oh, you flunked out of college? That's ok, just marry a man with a good job." It doesn't work that way even for women. It can be just as much problems for women in general let alone women with Asperger's. I was never told once because I had problems with university and jobs to just not worry, you'll marry a man with a good job to solve that problem... to say it is any easier on women to have Asperger's is an injustice to the fact that even though we are of different genders, doesn't mean our problems even though they manifest differently are any less than a man's.

I deal with being expected to have as much empathy as most women when I don't have that. I'm expected to be 'feminine' which I have a hard time pulling off outside of physical aspects. I'm expected to be able to carry a conversation about makeup, fashion, clothes and such when I'm fairly clueless on all of them, there are many aspects which Asperger's can really seriously affect being social and being female. I have never really had any female friends in my life as I can't relate to them on the same level. I'm expected to be an ideal housewife and be perfect in cooking, cleaning and all. I'm supposed to smile and seem happy and people think I'm always depressed because I have a hard time smiling.

thank you all so much for your responses! I will definitely look into the articles.

ok, so i'm a fast reader......so far, from what i've read, it sounds like my daughter has some asperger-like qualities. she definitely does empathize , though....and i can't honestly say that she is very logical.............

I know a lot of people with aspergers who are not logical but can still empathize.

aaarrrggghhh!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

HAHAHAHAHA, Yeah right, because we all know that marriage is forever, no one ever leaves thier spouse and there is no such thing as pre-nups. Get out of the 50's, women have to put a roof over thier head and food in their stomachs every bit as much as a guy does. (add to that the fact a lof of people don't marry into their 30's, what has she been doing to live that whole time? yeah right.)

Amen to all of this. I was a tomboy to the extreme in high school, and constantly got flack for not being girly enough, for being to harsh/abrasive/whatever, I never did the typical NT high school girl crap. I didn't whine about guys, didn't talk on the phone, never snuck out/ditched school, etc. I was very androgenous at that age.
The women marrying rich thing I find very funny, it is so dated and so patheticly outdated. (unless your a texas blond bimbo stripper who happens to find a dying oil tycoon, but how many of us could really be Anna Nicole? I doubt we'd want to if we could) I don't know anyone growing up who had a stay at home mom, besides maybe one of my friends. I knew (sadly) a TON of single moms and the rest were two parent incomes, often with them making almost the same in salary.

you know, the tomboy thing is not just relegated to Aspies.......I, an NT, was quite a tomboy. the teasing was tremendous....girly girls just dont understand tomboys need for rough & tumble fun ~ i mean, what's better than making mud pies ~ or cutting off Barbie's hair ( how many times did i have to get that stupid doll before someone actually listened to me saying that i didnt like dolls ?), or playing cars with Barbie ?( Can you say crash victim ?)

i understand the need to not stereotype. however, i really do wish we'd get back on the subject of traits in Aspie girls.....was there anything that stuck out in your mind as being "different" from NTs ? I know that my hubby , whose an Aspie, has always said that he didnt notice that anyone thought any differently than he did until it was pointed out to him.
i feel like i'm grasping at straws....i don't know whether to pursue a diagnosis~knowing that she isn't having many problems currently.

Hi ster,

Did you also read http://maapservices.org/MAAP_Sub_Find_I ... ttwood.htm he mentions about girls.

I know all my life I thought I was different and never understanding what was so different about me (I am in my 40's okay late 40's) but went through life not really knowing why I was clueless about society. I know from my son's doctor when he told me I too am on the spectrum I could not understand it. I was nothing like my son in the sense of anger. He told me that every child is different in their makeup and girls are even different more so. Girls will tend to be quiet and withdrawn when they have their meltdowns with alot of crying. Again not to say every girl. In my generation again we were being brought up differently. I too at that age of 7 til about puberty all I ever wanted to do was read and play alone my mother would kick me out of the house and tell me to play with the neighborhood kids (go figure). So I would sit on my stoop and if someone came to me then I would play otherwise I would sit there until my mother would call me in. Which I thought was so stupid since I could be reading or playing inside but I took everyword literally so I sat outside. In school, at that time they were strict and I would just suffer in silence and went through the system on the honor roll but clueless about the social life until I hit my teen years which was chaos (mentally).
Fortunately for me I ended up with nice friends that kind of taught me the ropes and I mimiced them throughout the years. I got by. I inherited my parents looks which made me popular with boys but again clueless of dating. I was told at a very young age, when I smile the world will smile back at me so i did. To this day I do that. I'm still waiting to see the world smile back at me. lol. With my son, I see so many more mixed signals through the media, music and peers. I don't believe my generation had so many mixed signals as they do today and I can see how much harder it is for aspie kids growing up these days.
It can't hurt getting her diagnosised, if she's not then great and move on, if she is well you probably know the drill. You know how time flys and before you know it she'll be hitting her puberty years.

I don't know if that helped any but I do hope that you find your answers.

I'll give you what I've observed so far (my daughter's only 4). You're right about there not being much in the way of info specific to girl aspies.

First thing that got our attention was that she didn't make "baby noises", the gurggles and coos. She cried a lot and had physical signals for things she wanted, touching her ear for a hug, touching her nose for a kiss, finger to lips for drink, etc. She would also use pictures from books, ie point to a picture of a glass of juice and when I got that point to a picture of an orange...orange juice. Her pediatrician didn't find this unusual (*insert duck quacking*). Otherwise, she was silent until just before her 2nd birthday when she used her first word (scared the crap out of me, another story). By 2 1/2 she was speaking in complete sentances by copying exactly ones she heard from us or on TV.
We could tell she didn't actually know the meaning of the words because we could trip her up. "Point to something orange", she points correctly. "What color is this?", blank stare.
Although we had our suspicions earlier, by age 3 we had confirmed she could read quite a bit but was trying to keep it a secret.
She has never had any intrest in other kids whatsoever, actually she will try to get away from them.
She is obsessive over transportation, especially trains and airplanes. For a long time, when we went to Barnes and Noble we would pray there would be other kids playing with the Thomas the Tank Engine display. It was the only way to get her away from it without a meltdown. She will do almost anything for a trip to the airport as a reward.
Meltdowns were extremely violent with self injury. She would bite and scratch herself, smack her head on the floor or wall.
She's also supersensitive to bright lights and loud noises.
She doesn't get dizzy. I have watched her on her Sit-n_Spin for 45mins and get up and walk around like it was nothing.
She does display emotion although not always appropriately. She once saw a wrecked car and wanted to hug it and put a band-aid on it. Turned into a meltdown because we wouldn't let her hug the car.
When we took her to be diagnosed, the psychologist came in and said "Hi, I'm Dr. Remmick, what is your name?". She looked out the window and said "Those flowers are blue." He said that was pretty classic Aspergers when combined with the sensory stuff.
Basically Asperger's is Sensory Integration Disorder combined with difficulty socializing. People with Asperger's are usually of high intelligence, although some like my daughter may try to pretend they aren't to avoid attention. She is 4 1/2, can read quite a bit, do simple addition and subtraction, and write her name better than a lot of adults (after much fine motor therapy). The local public school placement tested her last fall at late 1st grade to early 2nd.
My guess would be that your daughter does have Asperger's. Interestingly, every now and then mine will encounter a kid she doesn't run away from. They almost always turn out to have Asperger's as well.

Is that an AS trait? I don't get dizzy, either, and I have never gotten motion sickness.

That's very interesting, because I've had autustic kids focus in me when I'm in a group on a couple occasions. I sometimes notice them too and they usually aren't stimming or doing anything else that would be a dead giveaway.

Here are the things I remember from my childhood that made me different from most girls -

Crying a lot over stuff that no one else seemed to get upset about, but not being upset at things that bothered most people.
Excessive perfectionism
When I was around babies, I could never bring myself to make silly ga-ga noises at them like most women and girls I knew.
Horrible social skills - everyone thought I was just shy or quiet until I got older and my horrendous social skills became more apparent. The older I got the worse it got.
I *HATED* getting my hair brushed or played with. I still do. It's a sensory issue.