Have decided RE: school

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I can't stress like this anymore, I just can't. I work at a school that my son would probably attend next year. I work at that school and another one in a different district. I probably will only work for the other school in the different district next year not the one we were considering for our son. I have been stressing about him attending one of the public schools near where we live for over a year now. He currently goes to kindergarten at a private, Christian school. It is just expensive.

The one he was going to attend is a magnet school for math and technology. Sounds great and all but the school is huge and each class has about 33 - 40 students. The resource teachers are wonderful but really are just too overwhelmed - not their fault. The cafeteria situation is really horrible. The lights are florescent yet you can barely see anything in the room. It's dim but not in a good dim way. It's hard to explain. The lights combined with the noise in that cafeteria (worse in that one than any other school I have worked in) is too much for me. I can't imagine what it will do to my little guy. The walls between classrooms seem a little paper thin as well. The resource classroom has too much stimulus in it but it's only because the extended resource teacher and regular resource teacher have to share a slightly bigger classroom because that is all that is provided.

I am working on getting the resource teachers a better situation and also getting the lights changed in the gym if that's the last thing I do before I go (school psych here). I may not be able to change anything but the kids need a conducive learning environment. I am on a mission and can get pretty vocal if it's for the kids.

There is just so many things.

Today, I spoke with my son's sunday school teacher and asked how he was doing. She told me that even with 7 - 10 students, he is easily distracted. That really made me upset and reality is starting to hit even more. The sunday school teacher doesn't think he is learning anything. I didn't tell her that he is probably picking up more information than most kids because his memory is superb.

His current private school also tells me he has difficulties with attention but can hyperfocus really well. They usually have a parent volunteer by his side at least an hour every day.

The private school is so expensive. I have decided to keep him there. I can't risk it with my son. I can't risk the lower self-esteem he most likely will get being in a classroom of at least 30 students and not being able to concentrate. He already has attention difficulties in small classrooms. I can't risk him being in a cafe that is so stimulating, most teachers dread going in there. This is going to affect us financially for the rest of our lives but I don't care. All that money was going to go into the college fund and our retirement fund. This is our child. We were blessed with the extra money for that or to create a college ore retirement fund so we are choosing his current school.

They love him. They know him. They work with him. The after school care is a bit difficult for him. That is where he has most of his difficulties but the kids that he had problems with in the past are even being nice to him. I have seen it (peeking in when no one thought I was looking). They have computers that he loves to play on after school. This place is like a family and a lot of the parents know each other.

The other school is math and tech focused but the other drawbacks are just too large. He can learn that stuff from my husband who is a computer science, math guy.

I suddenly feel a weight is lifted off of us. Just to think that if I didn't apply to work a few extra days a week this year in the district we live and didn't get that particular school - the school that my son was to attend, I would never know how it really isn't a good fit for him. The way things happened was almost surreal.

There are some really good public schools, really. If we lived near the other place I work, I would highly consider sending him there - it's just too far. I am so glad I had the chance to check out the place that he would have attended next year by a fluke chance opening this year.

It sounds like things are going well. Congrats for making a hard but sounds like a great decision!! !

glad you've come to a decision. too bad it's so costly........you know, your state should have a regional educational service center system ( RESC).....there should be other options out there besides an expensive private school.

I'm in the same boat you are. My son also goes to an expensive private schoolfor kids with learning disabilities and HFA/AS. Along with that he has speech and social skills therapy and daycare. This costs me more than most colleges. It's really worth it. My son is 7 and I believe that he will have a better life getting the help he needs now that what a college education will give him in the future. I have hopes for college, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. I totally understand the weight lifted from your shoulders with this decision. I go through this every spring, and it's hard to describe how stressful and hard it is. I eventually want my son in a regular classroom, and every year I have to decide if this is the time. Keep up the good work. Private school is expensive, but very worth it.

Your lucky you can afford private school. Alot of parents cannot. Even if they tried they simply would not be accepted based on their income.

It's amazing how poor the schools and the educational systems can be considering the amounts of money spent as a whole and it's also amazing that more parents of 'normal' kids don't understand that ALL kids can benefit from the special educational needs of our 'special' kids.
I fought for years to get a 'free' school established and finally just got beaten down by the system. It's almost as if the sanctioning and acreditation bodies are deliberately designed to promote failure or at least minimal performance.
Fortunately my own kids are NT's but two of grandaughters were born deaf and that's almost as bad as being autistic as far as the isolation goes and special education is essential but often lacking.

Yes it is grossly unfair. I live in a upper class area now but I have lived in alot of disadvantaged low income area's and it is amazing how differently children get treated in regards to what area they live in and what thier parents can afford. It is two tier society. My daughter is 11 and has been to 4 schools, public. She has confirmed dx of an ASD and she has never recieved any treatment. She is very bright. The peadiatrician told me that academically she should be at the top of her class but she isn't and she never has been.

I live in an ultra so-called upper class area and all of our schools, public and private suck as far as quality of education and the schools in the so-called lesser class areas are basically just holding pens for the students.

Natesmom, I am so glad to hear that you have made a decision and are comfortable with it. Never allow yourself to be pushed by the opinions of others, saving money, etc. When you see your child in a good situation, you know it, don't you? Best to all of you.

Thanks everyone. It's great to get support from this board. We are pretty fortunate and I am thankful.

I must say we live way extremely frugally. We bought a much lower house than we could have, buy extremely old cars, have a 15 year old tv and buy everything used. I even cloth diaper LOL. I would need to work even more and put my 17 month old (will be older) in a daycare for an extra day or two. There are always drawbacks.

This school is a Christian school and doesn't look at income. In fact, there are a few kids who attend for free because they can't afford it. I like that about this school. The principal told me there are 8 kids in the elementary campus who have Aspergers. The superintendents son has aspergers. They are becoming well known for accommodating and working with kids on the spectrum.

I attended a catholic school 1st through 3rd grade and was kicked out because we couldn't afford it. I don't know if all catholic schools are like that. I am sure some have a scholarship program. That was the best environment for me.

I hope I don't sound like I am putting down public schools. There really are some good ones. The one I work at (the overstimulating one) is a good school with great special ed staff. Just not for my child. I am sad about that because I could have been at the same school he attended and made sure you got the services but there are those other factors that you can't do anything about.

There are not a lot of options for us because Nathan is not significantly low in self-help, cognition or language. He wouldn't qualify for a lot.

I'm happy to see that you've found a solution. Few people are really willing to make the financial and lifestyle changes that are sometimes necessary for our kids. It's easy to try and find compromises as we all hope that things will get better over time. That's just human nature. I'm glad to see that you overcame these basic instincts.

We have christian schools here to. I tried once to have my duaghter enrolled because I heard it was what you could afford and they rejected her. I don't wether it was because I wasn't christian or was unmarried single mom but they didnt want us. Personally, I'd never put my daughter in a christain school after my dealings with them. They are the most discriminative people you could know and you can guarantee they look down on unmarried single parents and the child as well.

The stories I have heard and know about christian schools. They disgust me.

That's typically the case.

My son goes to a catholic (special needs)school and they are wonderful. She will take anyone, no matter what their beliefs are. She does teach a catholic education, and you have to be OK with that, but you won't be turned down or pay more because you aren't catholic or christian. I used to feel the same way about christian schools, but I have learned it's the people, not the school.