So mad

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Nate is having more testing and completed the cognitive and attention assessments yesterday. Neuropsych thinks he is gifted (especially on the nonverbal scale) but not Autistic. A lot of times, Nate seems pretty typical, sort of.

Let's fast forward to today.
Nate is on his third day of full day kindergarten. He is still in the same afternoon kindergarten class but we added morning. The first two days, he seemed to do quite well. Today he had two poop accidents. His second accident was in after school care. He didn't have a change of clothes so he sat with JUST UNDERWEAR on and a jacket covering him until we picked him up. I guess kids walked by him asking why he had the coat over him and he told them what happened. He is very matter of fact and doesn't see the harm in telling people the truth. When he told me that he said, "I told three kids." I was a little upset. He then said, "They didn't laugh, though." He was very matter of fact and just continued to play while telling me what happened. I am very upset! Why would they keep him in the BIG after school care room with kids constantly walking by. He wasn't even in the corner. You think they would put him in another room instead to avoid ridicule.

These kids will make fun of him FOREVER. He was already having difficulty with social skills.
There is also no way he is not on the spectrum, no way.

I think he is one of those kids that can seem completely fine during testing but in social situations, it is much different.

I hate being on this roller coaster ride. Everyday it is different. One day I think he is doing just fine and the dx is wrong. The next day I feel like the dx is completely correct. If this neuropsych just states he is gifted but not on the spectrum, I will go through those emotions even more because professionals will have very different views (pretty typical anyways, huh?).

Right now I am upset with what happened to him in the after school care and hurt for him.

He did make great strides, though!! When he usually has accidents, he will just not say anything and sit in it all day. I did some role playing with him on what to do following an accident. He did it today:) He went up to the teacher, whispered in her ear and said, "I had an bathroom accident." Yeah.... That may seem small but to us, it's HUGE!! We did it so kids won't know but what good that really did in the after school care.

SO MAD

First of all, you should kick and scream and demand that they fire that teacher.
Someone like that has no business being within 1000 yards of a helpless child.
Any child. S/he is probably bad for the regular kids, too.

Most shrinks don't know what they are doing. If you feel like you are wasting your time, you probably are. Ditch him and try another. Even when they claim to have experience with Autims/Asperger's, they are often clueless. If what he says makes no sense to you, don't waste another minute on him. It's not YOUR job to educate him.

Why is the child in full day school? Is this an economic necessity? The best test of whether the program is good for him is whether he likes it. If he is miserable, don't wait twenty years for him to figure out how to explain why, just get him out of there. God knows what else they are doing that you will never find out about.

thank you both.

It is actually cheaper to go full day. He is better at the whole school thing than school and daycare. He has more difficulty in the daycare settings because it is more unstructured.

I spoke with his teacher this evening and she was pretty mad that whole thing happened to him in the after school care. She said I did have every right to be extremely angry. The person who did that is not a teacher but a parent of another kindergartener. She is really nice but pretty scattered. She is definitely has severe ADHD - no doubt. The teacher told me that it is likely she would have done the same thing with her own children and probably doesn't understand what she did was wrong. I really don't think she gets it.

I will be talking with the head of the after school care tomorrow. She should have known better. That person also has a child on the spectrum, and another child with ODD and ADHD.

Nate does like school. He always liked half day kindergarten and states he likes full day. He just doesn't want to "learn how to read big words." That is what he said. He would rather build things all day and do math problems. Reading is the big reason why he didn't want to go into full day kindergarten. He does fine with reading but really can't stand it.

If I find out that Nate HATES school, I will pull him. Most of the time I hated school and begged my mom to allow me to change schools but she wouldn't let me. Till this day, I feel that was the biggest mistake she ever did - ever.

I will talk with the neuropsych. I left a message for him this afternoon.
I will ask him if he can do a classroom observation. You can't really get an accurate picture without that piece, especially if you are looking at kids who are possibly on the spectrum. You need the whole picture. If he were to observe Nate in the classroom, I know he would see that Nate is on the spectrum. I am already wondering if he is as good as I originally thought. I may just go see the "acclaimed" developmental pediatrician that everyone raves about. This pediatrician is the specialist in autism.

The reason why I am doing this neuropsych is to have closure with his diagnosis. Either he has it or he doesn't. I had a confirmed dx when he was two years old, and a clinical psych changed his label to PDD-NOS about six months ago. I wanted to see what a neuropsych had to say. After what happened today, I am thinking he truly does have Autism. Most of you who have read my previous posts probably would agree.

I just want him to be happy, that's all. I don't care if he has it or he doesn't. I just want him to be happy and I want to do my best to help him. If he has Autism, Great. If not, Great. Having a definitive answer is better than this rollercoaster ride of no confirmation.

so sorry that you had to deal with that.........it's always something around here- never a dull moment....always some crisis to avert.

I think your son must be copying me. I remember once when I was in 1st grade, I accidentally wet my pants. I then got changed and continued school. When the other students asked me why I changed my clothes, I told them that I wet my pants and had to change. It didnt occur to me that I shouldn't spread that information. Perhaps a better response should have been to lie and say I spilled juice on myself. But nobody taught me how to lie, so I hadn't quite figured that out that skill yet. Overall, these things happen, your son didnt seem too traumatized by it so I wouldnt make it any worse be fretting over it.