PDD and Separation Anxiety

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If my toddler has PDD and separation anxiety, will it get better? I want to cry...

I find that my son's separation anxiety comes and goes. Every Thursday night is my night out to go and do whatever I want. They stay home with Dad. No big deal. But Wednesday, my son could stay home with Dad while I picked up his sister from school and he had a huge meltdown. He was literally terrified of being away from. It had nothing to do with Dad (they're close, he adores him) it was just a time when being away from me (I'm the one he's closest to) caused him to panic. He was shaking, screaming, crying. It's always sort of appeared, and then disappeared.

I hope this at least comes and goes. He wants to be in physical contact with me at ALL times, and it's wearing me down, especially with my own sensory issues.

I can really relate to that. My son goes through periods of constantly wanting to have a part of him on me/touching me at all times. There are times when I go into the bathroom and lock the door just to give myself some space. But then I can hear him hanging around outside the door. What made it a bit better was that I would tell him I had to leave the room to go and do something so while he was waiting for me, he could lay on the couch and I put his weighted blanket on him. That worked well because the pressure felt comforting. But that would depend on your son's needs and if he likes deep pressure.

Oh do I remember those days. I swear, my son wanted to wear me like a coat that never came off. But they DO outgrow it, and the need DOES fluctuate a bit even before then.

I found that the more I fought it, the more he needed it. The best thing was to focus really strongly on him while I was with him, and then SCHEDULE TIME FOR MYSELF. LOTS of it, leaving him with a caregiver that I could trust and that he was comfortable with, and sticking to a REGULAR SCHEDULE for that.

We took it really slowly, introducing him to his nanny, with me staying with them for a few days. Then we developed a good-bye routine, and stayed firm with it. No changes like trying to visit him for lunch on a nanny day; I had to stay out of sight and out of mind. They had a lot of fun, really - she took him for long, long walks and explored all over town. They even made friends together.

I realize few can afford a nanny (I used the time to work, which pretty much only paid for the nanny, but ...), but a schedule can often be arranged with friends or family members. Make it part of the routine, and make it something that really allows you to center yourself and be ready to give the best of yourself when you are with your child.

These are precious years, but they are also really draining. Every parent goes through that, but even more so for parents with needy children like mine was.

Thanks for the support!

'He wants to wear me like a coat' - very good way to put it!

Oh goodness, that's the thing with me and my daughter. I'm in the stages of deciding whether or not she has a place on the spectrum (and if having a diagnosis would really help her much). By noon some days, I'm all "touched-out".

daughter, age 10 & going for an eval on Weds, is still in the seperation anxiety mode.....she detests it when i go anywhere without her....she wants to be with me all of the time.......