potty training ideas??

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I have a 10 year old, who is still not potty trained. We have tried and tried over the past how many years, but been unsuccessful. I'm actually taking her in later today for a bladder ultrasound to see if everything is ok in there. She is autistic, mod/severe MR, and has epilepsy. I totally understand that she may just not be ready yet, and, who knows, may never be. I just want to ensure that I have done everything possible to try.
Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions on potty training a special needs kiddo? I have read the book How to potty train you autistic child, to no avail. I have a timer that is used just for potty training. It goes off every hour, and she has associated that ring with it being time to sit on potty, but nothing happens. She'll even tell me "mama potty" but then either doesn't want to sit, or won't go. I am concerned something could be wrong with the bladder. Maybe the nerves aren't going into the bladder properly or something, which is the reason for the ultrasound later today. Just wanted to see what other ideas are out there. Maybe if I try a different way, she'll be more interested in it. I don't know, but need to try!
Thanks!

Do you mean that she is still in nappies?

My son was late, but not as late as that. He wore daytime nappies till 5 years old, and night-time nappies for another year.

Potty training never worked. We tried over a couple of periods and very often he would have a pee minutes after getting off, sometimes after sitting on it for half an hour, ( I didn't force him to, he would just stay on it if he "thought" he might be about to pee).

The trigger for change may simply have been my own attitude. Suddenly when he had just turned five I said to him, with spontaneous and heartfelt conviction, " This is ridiculous. You're five; you should be able to do this by now." And from that day on he did, ( on the toilet, not the potty ), with only a few accidents over the first month or two.

I have read, somewhere, that apparently there can be a problem with connecting nerve signals from the bladder/sphincter in some people with AS. Also related to "spastic" gait.

Good luck.

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I haven't personally had this experience with my own children, however, i work in a special ed environment and know of 16 year olds who are just learning to potty train. it is still possible !
I would definitely have her checked out to make sure that there is nothing physically wrong. As long as there's nothing wrong, then start charting her urinary & bowel movements. Chart for about a week- by this i mean, keep track of when she's going to the bathroom. If you can get a firm pattern of when she urinates, then you can have a more firm idea of times that she should be going to the bathroom..........It's all a work in progress.....hang in there

After you've ruled out all medical reasons, find out if there are any local agencies that specialize in this area. I have heard of people who were unable to train their kids without expert assistance - none of the usual methodologies worked, but in a couple of days, an expert was able to pinpoint and solve the problem. They even got it paid for by the educational agency (IU)! This is clearly a life skill, and if neither the parent nor school is able to successfully teach it to the child, the school should pay for an outside expert for a few days or a week, so that the skill can be properly learned.

My 4 year old son who is on the spectrum isn't potty trained yet either. He's been having lots of accidents here lately and it has me concerned. Every time his bladder gets full, it leaks. I'm just not sure what to think in this situation. Should I be concerned? This is all new to me and I just don't know what to think.

if a reason isnt found by doctors,maybe she has sensory problems with going to toilet,as in,not being able to 'feel' or understand/recognise the 'feel' of going toilet,am adult and still like this.

Some of the LFA who post here are still wearing diapers. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, and it may be something your daughter will never be able to achieve. Sensory input just works differently for autistics, and she may not be able to sense the full bladder sensation as strongly as she senses the lights, sounds and smells of her environment. Another issue is that transition may be a problem. When potty training my son it was always important to break his concentration once in a while when he was intently focused on something, like building a road. Otherwise he just looses the world around him, including his bladder control.

One other thing, I don't know if this will help: some autistics respond really well to musical communication. So instead of a bell, perhaps you could make a "potty song", to either have play, or sing to her when it's time to go potty. Songs have always made transitions easier for my son, we do a bedtime song, a go to school song, a cleanup song, an eating time song, ect.

My seven year old was potty trained at about 3 years old, but continues to have accidents - at night and during the day. He often has "leaks" as well.

I think it's a combination of sensory issues - his body doesn't always tell him when he needs to go until it is too late - and that he is sometimes too involved in what he is doing to realise that he needs to go.

I have to remind my son to go to the toilet at regular intervals and have told his school that if he says he has to go, then he must be allowed out of class without any delay.

I also keep telling him that he has to think about what it feels like when his body does tell him it is time to go the toilet, so that he can recognise that feeling and act on it.

It's a slow process, though. He can go for a while without any accidents, then have a few in quick succession. Tonight he had a slight poo accident during his swimming lesson. He knew he needed to go, but didn't say anything to his swimming teacher.

Next week, I'll tell the swimming teacher that my son may need to go to the toilet during the lesson, and keep emphasising to my son that if he needs to go he has to tell someone.

Thanks for the suggestions! I did start charting when she urinates throughout the day, and am trying to habit train. She loves kids songs, so we have certain ones that we only sing while on the potty. I can get her to sit, no problem, it's that next step, the going, that I can't get her to do! I even started putting panties under her diaper, so she feels it being wet, but no luck as of yet! She loves wearing her panties, though.
She does have a lot of sensory issues, and I don't think she can feel when she has to go yet, or, when sitting, knows how to release. We go to the urologist on Tuesday, so I'll at least be able to rule out (hopefully!) it being medical after that and just really focus on potty time. Think I may switch to a certain fun song equaling potty time, rather than the timer, as she loves music.

Never underestimate the power of M&Ms.

Make it clear.
Correct behavior on the potty.... 2 M&Ms
failed behavior? no M&M.

Worked with my kids. 1 NT 1 ASP