My son can't seem to keep his hands off of people

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He has a school diagnosis of Asperger's and ADHD and they are making a lot of concessions, doing special work with him to help him learn the social stuff he doesn't get, but still he talks and gets up and touches people and their stuff. I'm an undiagnosed Aspie myself but I dunno what the heck the lil dude is on about. I was the type who sat stiff in place all through grade school, trying not to attract attention, to the point of wetting my pants because I thought the teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom (therefore I was afraid to even ask and have her say what she said to another kid who had apparently played instead of coming back on time).

Anyway, I was considering getting him one of those fidgets, but the real trouble is that it sounds great on the internet, but he's in a regular 1st grade class and honestly, knowing him, I think he'd either become too absorbed by it or or not enough, throw it at someone or hit someone with it, lose it, or even have another kid snatch it. In short, I dunno what would work. I consider quiet time before school but maybe that would keep his energy bottled up. I consider letting him get his energy out, but I know better, that's just like getting him fully charged and letting him go. In truth, I dunno how to help the guy, especially with his 2 sisters to deal with.

Sorry, I personally don't know how to improve that. I hope someone else has a good idea on it.

But as to why he might do that... Impulsivity as in ADHD can lead to that children and adults find it to be very complicated to keep to the rule that property of others and other people are off limits.

Impulsivity combined with hyperactivity can lead to that you reach out and just do before you have the chance to consider what you do and before you realise it's inappropriate or even forbidden. (Of note: on top of that, ADHD can mean you're delayed in your understanding and independent consideration of cause and consequence.) You're attracted by something and you immediately react to that attraction no matter the consequences.

Talking can be the same. It's out of your mouth due to your impulsivity even if just a moment ago, you told yourself not to say anything. Kids in class with ADHD, for example, often can't keep their mouths shut even if they know they'll receive a reward for keeping quiet and raising their hands when they want to say something. The kids know that it is wrong usually, can explain to you why they should not start talking or shout the answers in the middle of a lesson, but they cannot control themselves for long even if they try hard.

My son has his hands all over everything all the time, too. He's 11 now and we've succeeded in getting his hands off of people but not much else. So pick your battles, let him know that you understand he has this need (you don't need to know why, it's just obvious he needs it) but that he will have to learn to limit it within certain guidelines, the main one of which is that people are not to be touched unless they give permission at that specific moment. Bodies are private, and that boundary is non-negotiable. We've been very consistent in giving our son that message over the years: we can live with the fingering most of the time, but touching people is not allowed.

Just FYI, my son's OT this year said that it may be related to his loose joints (part of the reason for the awful and painful handwriting). When the joints are loose like that, only a fraction of all the neurotransmissions from the fingertips, etc., actually get through to the brain. So increased physical interaction and motion is needed simply to have a sense of where one's body is in the world. My son actually can NOT FOCUS unless his fingers are on something.

He doesn't touch things because he notices them and that creates the impulse; it's more of a constant motion thing, a constant sensory seeking in the manner of touch. Most of the time he has no idea what he is touching or why.