What to expect???

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So, we've gone to our doctor and he's writing us a referral to either the Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders in Carbondale, IL or for Cardinal Glennon in St. Louis, MO. He's basiccaly going to see where we can get in sooner because wait times can be over a year. What can I expect when we go to an evaluation? My son is 4 and we are fairly certain that he has Asperger's. As "Aspies" yourselves or parents of them, you can understand the importance of being able to tell him what will happen when we get there. (He doesn't like doctors anyway, let alone one he's never met.) Any input will be greatly appreciated!!

your doctor will just play with the child and talk to you i guess. just relax - doctor is your friend

No scary shots involved, that is a good thing.

My son spent a lot of time talking with various professionals, answering questions, and taking tests. It can seem invasive if you have an older child or one who has a sense of privacy (mine did not). It's important that he understand there are no "right" answers and he shouldn't be looking for what he thinks the adult wants to hear; this is really a time to be himself.

yanno what, the beauty of it is that they're used to dealing with kids with lots od boundaries, and those with none. They'll go at his pace. There's usually questionnaires for you to fill out. They'll play with him, interact, talk, have him activities. It will take a couple of visits and in the end you usually get a report detailing all of the results. My son always enjoyed the process of evaulation. Maybe that's because afterwards, we always went out for ice cream.

Ask the doctor at the office where you will be going what they suggest you say to your child to prepare him. Every doctor handles an evaluation differently, and even if you'd been through five evaluations, you wouldn't know what this one would be like! I've had some people say to avoid saying they'd play games, because then the child will expect video games. Others recommend something else. Whatever you do, preface it with something like, "I don't know exactly what will happen, because I've never been there either, so it's going to be a new adventure!"

Ha! When I was getting evaluated for ADD (the test came out negative), the psychologist I saw told me the same thing. However, I figured out within minutes into the session that this wasn't the case (I could go as far as saying that she lied to me). When I talked, she was writing down everything I said, and wouldn't show me the notes. I almost had a meltdown right there in her office, but stopped myself, worrying that she might blab about it to my parents, who would then yell at me. Since I didn't have a way of finding out the "right" answers, I had no choice but to tell her the true ones, feeling very edgy and anxious the whole time. Nowadays, with access to the internet, it would have been so much better. Before the session, I would have researched everything on the internet, and when the psychologist asked me questions, simply told her the "right" answers, proudly and confidently.

The best advice I could give you, as I have given other parents, is to make sure to bring along a bag of 'tricks'! !

Bring some nice treats and some toys for him to play with. I found that the assessment itself was enjoyable for my son, but when they need to talk a length to us the parents, he didnt enjoy that so much!! !

He got very bored and cried to go home, then I got anxious and didnt really take all of it in, as I wanted to leave then too.

I made sure to bring along a nice little bag of 'tricks' to every vist thereafter!! !

Oh and also a good idea is to write down some questions that you may have to bring with you, as you sure as hell wont rememer them when you are there!! !

Good Luck xx

OK ... but isn't the point to figure what is ... or isn't ... going on with you? There can only be "right" answers if there is a specific conclusion that you desperately want the professional to come to. As parents trying to serve the needs of our kids we are duty bound NOT to go into the process with such an assumption and as a child hoping to get the best guidance possible wouldn't you also want to enter the process without a foregone assumption? By deciding that there really ARE "right" answers, you are saying that there is a specific conclusion you would want the professional to reach. But what if your concept of the right conclusion is based on false assumptions? How do you know it isn't? Why even enter a process if you aren't open to the exploratory aspects of it?

But this does point out something interesting, which is that the need for control is a part of AS. It sounds like you couldn't stand the fact that the process wasn't within your control, and that is likely to be an issue for many AS kids. OTHER than trying to control the conclusion, how would you suggest a parent prepare a child for that?

It's not about control; it's about deception. For instance, one question that therapist (let's call her D) asked me was: "If you see a fire at your neighbors' home, what can you do to help?" So I told her: "call the fire department." Then she asked me: "what else can you do?" The correct answer was "nothing really, it's something best left to trained firefighters." Being naive, I answered honestly: "try to climb in through the window, and see if the fire is small enough to put it out myself." I right away knew that the question was a set-up and I gave a wrong answer, because D spent a whole minute writing something after I said it. When I asked about it, she denied everything, and just said "everything will be OK" in a patronizing tone.

When the results came back, she said that I had an "immature emotional development" (so much for "will be OK"). My parents were right there in the office with me. My mother was crying, and my father was sitting with his head between his hands. I sat there not knowing what to do, because I was worried if I do something "wrong", it'll jeopardize me in some way. It still baffles me how that idiot therapist actually didn't care that I had to witness the whole scenario. Needless to say, I felt sad for weeks afterwards, so much that my parents got worried that I might be developing full-blown depression. They sent me to someone else (let's call her T), and even she agreed that D made a mistake. I was able to get over the depression, thanks to T's rational approach, but I resented D ever since.

"Other than trying to control the conclusion, how would you suggest a parent prepare a child for that?" Given my experience, I don't know if I'll be able to offer a constructive answer. (In fact, if I were in your son's situation, I'd go to a library under the pretext of studying, and research everything I can about psychological tests.) The best I can come up with is to have him take some fun personality quizzes with varying outcomes (such as "what breed of dog are you"), so that he can get used to the process. The website http://www.personalityquiz.net has some great examples. They're light-hearted and different enough from the "real thing" that they won't skew the results.

Aspie1, I am sorry that the person who did the testing wasn't very professional about it. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with your answer to the fire question; people do that sort of thing all the time, making a judgement call, and some are called heros for it. Plus you were pressed into feeling you were supposed to have a solution, it sounds like. It's a flawed test, then, isn't it? Testing should be designed to get information that will help the person being tested. If it can't do that, it isn't appropriate.

My son does have pretty strict standards about feeling lied to, and I see how you applied that in the situation. Fortunately, his testing wasn't like yours and was done a while back, but I think this discussion is useful for all the parents here just starting the process (such as the OP) so it's good hearing how you felt about it. I hear a lot on these forums about feeling lied to, and that is something we as parents need to be very careful about, how sensitive it is for those with AS, and easily they can start believing the whole does nothing but lie.

In my son's report, there's actually parts that focus on getting him to "buy in" to whatever plans are needed for him. He's very sensitive and if he doesn't buy in to what's being laid out for him, it will be a no go. He's skeptical, and at this point, I don't blame him. He's been offered so much support that has fallen through, or not been targetted to him enough, that he has a hard time putting faith into things. (he's 12)

This just came to mind with the 'feeling of being lied to'.

DW_a_mom, thanks for understanding my situation. Come to think of it, I was getting that evaluation at a free clinic, so maybe that had something to do with it. But when the therapist was writing everything down, and wouldn't show me the notes, that's when I "knew" the whole thing was a big set-up. After all, if the test was supposed to help me, why couldn't I see the notes? Her excuse was that me seeing the notes would skew the test results, but it just sounded like bullcrap. I was afraid to call her on it, because she'd write that down too, and possibly use it against me.

So yeah, I felt very deceived, to say the least. Luckily, we now have the internet where we can research the tests that psychologists use. The site http://deltabravo.net/custody/articles.php is just one of them. It's meant for people going through divorce, but tests are still tests.