Informing school about child DX

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Son will be starting school in Jan next year... Being that he's on the very Mild end of the spectrum I'm debating with myself as to whether it is best to tell the school or to see how he goes first?

Obviously I want to do the best thing for my son.

I'd like to hear about your experiences with telling the school (or not telling the school) about your child's disorder.

In order to have an IEP, you must inform the school and go through an evaluation. Does your son need any support at school? I can't imagine the school not knowing in our situation. MyAS son is mainstreamed with an IEP. If I didn't have the help and co-operation of the OT, PT, SLP, Social Worker in addition to the classroom teacher, we would be lost and I am sure my son would be in an entirely different situation....it would be a very negative experience for us. On the other hand, we have made the decision not to tell his classmates or their parents. We are rethinking that decision but because DS doesn't know himself of his DX, it is complicated now.

So, in a nutshell, we did tell because we are utilizing our "free" resources to the fullest not only because we have to but also because I think it is best for our situation. In addition, I think our school would be very upset with us if we didn't tell them.

Hope that helps.

You may find that his symptoms are more pronounced, in school, under stress. And they would be more understanding of any behavior issues if they knew.

I'd just see how it goes on the first day

How has your son done in preschool? Can he deal in a chaotic group setting? Is there any evidence of sensory issues, or physical problems? How is his writing?

How does the school normally deal with AS kids? Do they understand AS kids?

What drove our IEP was the hypotonia, that my son found writing difficult. But we found loads more issues once we got into the process, from pragmatic speech to general stress and sensory issues. Having an IEP was invaluable to our son. It made a world of difference. Anything that started to go wrong, the IEP team was on it. Never was it assumed it was a behavior issue.

But none of that could have been seen before he started school. He was too high up on the spectrum, and the hypotonia wasn't really an issue when he spelled out a rare word and mostly did kid scribble.

It will depend on what level of understanding you can get from the school without an IEP, and just how many conflicts might actually arise, whether or not you "need" to tell them right now. But, honestly, eventually you will. It really isn't going to be a question of if, just when.

If you want to just see how he does, you can always ask for daily or weekly updates on how he is doing. If he is struggling, then you can get more detailed about the dx and use that to either get a 504 plan or possible IEP if needed.

Thanks for your replies... Sorry it takes me a while to get back to you, I'm pretty rushed and time poor but I do take in all of the replies that I get to my threads...

DS is doing really well at 3-4 yo "pre" Pre school" His teachers are aware of his diagnosis there, but we havent yet informed the school that he will be attending in Jan 10.

His pre school teachers adore him, say he's so well behaved and he does exactly as he's asked. They have even doubted that he is even on the spectrum... This is why I'm finding it difficult to come to a decision as to whether or not to tell the next school if he's doing so well. He adjusted very quickly into pre school considering he has never been left with anyone else before let alone in a strange setting... I thought he would have freaked at the ceeling fans/ and big vents in the ceeling...but he was fine, and fine with me leaving him there! HIs first day however he sat on his own and played toys in one of the tents that they have in the room, and the teachers were happy for him to do that. He picks an empty table to eat his lunch and things like that....just prefers to ease himself into things He's fine now with joining the group, in fact cant wait!

He's having no issues at all as far as sensitivities go... He does struggle a bit with finishing little work projects.. gets bored quickly and tired quickly. His writing isnt the best, but he's still a little young yet anyway.

When he attended playgroup a year ago, he would freak if there was group singing and story time. But I've seen him at school when they do it and he's fine with it now.

I guess my main concern is should I tell the school if he doesnt need intervention...I just dont want it out there if it doesnt need to be...purely for his sake in regards to getting picked on etc etc... Maybe I'ts not as bad these days and more accepted than I'm imagining it to be. He functions just like anyone else, just a little quirky with certain things.... things which alot of NT kids are too I must add! But I understand what you say when you talk about him being labelled naughty... unfairly if he does happen to have any meltdowns.

He sounds like he is doing really well. The preschool sounds pretty good, too!

HOnestly, I will be telling my son's new school. I work there so it's easier. I am not going to stress the dx, though. I want them to know he has strengths and weaknesses like any other child. We just happen to know more about those areas due to all of the information we already have from a great deal of testing. I will basically be telling the teacher that he may have meltdowns (falling on the floor and plugging his ears) during music, cafeteria, PE, etc. He doesn't do that all the time but there are times. He needs breaks to go to a quite place.

Personally, I would just let them know but also stress on how well he is doing. He will most likely still have some difficulties and I feel it's important for them to understand instead of them labeling as a child that just doesn't may attention or forces him to be social like other children are. You can just say, "My son has this dx but he really did well in the preschool setting."

Your preschool has tents in the room? That is so wonderful! If he goes in there often, that could be what is working for him. He may need his own little space. If you notify the teacher ahead of time, she can help you create that little space which he feels comfortable

Sometimes when teachers find out that a child has a certain dx they end up perceiving that child differently, even if they don't realize they are doing it. There is a danger in that as well. I personally feel that the pros of telling outweigh the cons.

No matter what you decide, request at least weekly communication regarding his academic, behavior and social skills.

Thanks Natesmum.. You have been very helpful as always.

The weighing up is the hardest part... I just want to make sure I'm doing the best possible thing for DS's sake.

His pre school is fantastic! (It's a private "pre" pre school that he attends as he just missed the cut off for proper school, and I felt he was really ready so I was lucky to get him in there) and the teachers are so loving and caring towards all the children... Yes they have 3 little hut things made from wood where the kids can sit and play... Great idea. They also have a "gym room"...Ds loves it there. He may get a shock though when he has to leave to go to another school.

How confidential will the staff be with regards to the info I give them? Is the extra care that he may recieve in class etc discreet? Particularly concerned about it getting out there as I dont want him to find out he is on the spectrum from friends or teachers... i want to be the one to tell him when I think the time is right.