Need for things to be "even"

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Hi, my son is 7, and has been diagnosed with Asperger's and anxiety disorder. The last few weeks he's been acting funny about things needing to be "even".

For example:

-he was getting off the trampoline and I was helping him put his rainboots on, and he said "wait" after I put one on, and then said "oh, forget it, I'll just do this to make them feel the same", and he pushed his sock on his other foot between his first 2 toes, and said that his other sock was like that, so he had to fix his other one so it would feel equal.

-he put together a 3-d castle puzzle with his dad, but refused to put one of the flags on one of the turrets, because the other flag was missing, and he wanted it to look even.

-this morning he started get upset because the slats of the wood blinds in our living room weren't both going the same way, one window they were facing up, and one window they were facing down.

These are just a few examples of many, it seems to be happening more and more. How typical is this?

Ouch - you mean this isn't normal?

Seriously, this isn't necessarily a symptom of the AS but more OCD (a fun and profitable by-product of the AS). Depending on what "business" one is in - this can be a huge advantage. For example:

Architects
Engineers
Doctors
Scientists
Detectives
Researchers
Artists
City planners

I know the little fella is nowhere near choosing a career but just something to think about.

BTW - my daughter is 5 and is the same. Probably a lot "worse" because my husband I are aspies and we tend to reward or forgive her little idiosynchracies. (sp?)

I'm 16 years old and I have AS (it isn't as "severe" now as it was when I was younger), and I vaguely remember when I was younger that I would need things to be "even" or a certain way. I'm by no means an expert on this, but I think that there's a possibility that this could be typical for Aspies or people with autism. We all have our own way of thinking, you know!

Ditto what ProgMetal316 said. When I was a kid everything had to be even. Your comment about the blinds all going in same direction reminded me of my constant battle to keep the windows in our house perfectly uniform. If one was open they all had to be open to the same height and the blinds all had to pulled down to the same level.

Likewise, if my left arm brushed up against a cold wall, I would have to immediately turn around and brush the same section of my right arm against the cold wall so the skin on both arms would be cooled evenly. It just felt better to be even and see even things around me. My cousin was the same way.

I don't think it has anything to do with OCD. It's just a weird sensory thing some AS kids do, but they eventually grow out of it. When I was little, I would only wear sweatpants with the tags cut off and t shirts and socks inside out because the seams would dig into my skin. Then you get older and you just become less sensitive to that stuff.

Seems normal to me...maybe abnormal for those who don't do this...haha...As someone pointed out, this is what it takes to be a Doctor, Lawyer, Architect, etc...a good one anyway...Instead of focusing on the negative, and believe me, I know it can be a pain sometimes...my kiddo is like this, but well, SO AM I...focus on the positive of that...

Heh. Sounds dead normal to me.

I suppose it might be a good idea to take the sting out of its tail by playing around with it from time to time. Have a do-it-wrong silly hour where you try to make everything uneven, mess up the blinds, make them crooked, set everybody's place-setting at the table with mismatching cutlery and all different crockery and napkins, turn one side of your collar under and the other up, roll up one pant leg and one sleeve, wear one white sock and one black one. It's totally intolerable to wear one thick sock and one thin one, though.

OK, thanks. He has many sensory issues, I didn't think about the fact that it was more sensory than anything. This is a great site, I'm glad I found it!

That sounds fun! Even though he'll probably still try to make it orderly. Like, I will play tea party with my daughter and I'll mix up the different color cups and saucers - but they are in still in a pattern. Blue cup with yellow saucer. Yellow cup with pink saucer. Pink cup with green saucer. Green cup with blue saucer. And they have to be in the proper order around the table. And only all bears allowed. Or all baby dolls. Or two bears and two dolls - seated alternatively. (Yes - never to young to learn proper dinner seating - as an aspie I totally get off on Miss Manners and Letichia Baldrige.)

I don't know about the sensory relationship - in my case. For me, the compulsive ordering, is mostly visual.

What I like about Electric Kite's idea - is it will challenge his sense of order. He'll still look for patterns, but he'll realize the world is made up by even more complex patterns - but, then again sometimes its just random.

These games may not make him "normal" but they will open his mind and lighten things up. And if he (and you) can learn to laugh at his "super powers", they won't come to own him. At the same time, he won't learn shame. (Which is just a waste - when his talents can be so useful.)

On a seperate note - I definitely have the sensory thing - but I haven't noticed how it plays out as an extension of my sense of order. I'll have to start paying attention.

Note - some of these comments come from young adults - who seemed to have grown out of this behavior. Interesting. I am 44 and just as OCD as I've always been about visual order. Probably more - since as an adult I just naturally have more responsibilty and thus a bigger need to control my environment.

I sometimes get bothered by things that are slightly out of order, but not as a regular thing. However, the other day I had a weird experience where I had three coins, all different sizes, on my desk, and I started rearranging them, and I was thinking, "They're different sizes so they need to all be different distances apart, cos they can't all be symmetrical so they all have to be asymmetrical..." and I kept moving them but I couldn't make them go right so I was getting more and more frustrated until I just flipped them all onto the floor. Then I was like, "What was THAT?"

Oooooh...coins. My favorite. Did you try stacking them - concentrically? That would have solved it. (These are the tricks you learn - like thinking in 3D.)

I didn't think of that, which is weird cos that's almost always what I do with coins!

As someone mentioned already, this is more of an OCD trait, but it's commonly seen in people with AS. If I do anything to the left side of my body, I have to do the same to the right side. For example, if I touch my left earlobe, I must then touch the right one so that it feels "right". When turning up the volume on the TV, I have to set it on an even volume. When changing the volume on my car radio, it's got to be even.

I prefer to count in only even numbers, and will often manipulate things to come out evenly. If I am eating Skittles or other candy, I will grab 2 blues, 2 yellows, 2 greens, 2 reds, 2 oranges, etc, and put them in my mouth like that. I will put them both in my mouth and make sure one ends up on each side. I repeat this with all the colors until I have 2 of each Skittle color in my mouth.

Dude! You mix your Skittle colors? Wow. I never tried that. That's thinking outside the box!

I always start with all red, then purple, then orange, then I give the green and yellows to someone else.

I always eat Chocolate Buttons in even numbers, because I like to lick the flat side of one and stick them together so both the rounded sides are showing. I dunno why, I've just always done that.

I'm almost exactly that way with Gobstoppers. I eat all the oranges first because I LOVE them, then go on down to the yellows, reds, purples, and give the greens to my wife. For some reason the greens actually choke me up, I really don't understand why. I am very sensitive to the coloring in the green ones, I suppose.

Green candy is to me what black licorice is to a lot of other people - I suppose. But I also feel a little "anaphalact-y" from the acid or maybe it is the dye.