Does your child spend a lot of time alone at home?

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Just curious... I couldn't find anything to really answer this question.

My 3.5 year old little girl is going to be assessed some time in the not to distant future. I was just wondering about "time alone". She will come around and play with us and tell us things, but she spends about 70-80% of her day alone in her room - by choice! She will watch the same video (or two) up there all day long over and over while doing who knows what.... I hear her up there talking to herself and playing.... but she never seems to be playing with any actual toys. She does things like tie string to all of the door knobs in the hallway or change her cloths over and over and over....

Do any of your kids do things like this? To me.... this seems "normal", but I am starting to wonder if I am maybe "not" normal....... I think I have AS, too.

Any thoughts?

I spend all of my time at home alone that I can. I wish I didn't but I hate my family.

The one thing I've noticed about AS kids is that they seem to live at extremes. My son refused to be alone pretty much ever at that age, but other AS kids are totally opposite.

Have you ever tried to get into her game? I did that when my son was little. I followed his scripts with the X-men figures, built a four-foot tower of soft stuff for him to knock down, read every book in the room in a single day… and generally shared in his idea of fun.

Yet ANOTHER reason I feel I have AS. YEP! I am in my room like ALL THE TIME! I don't know WHY I got a LARGE house! I only stay in my room, MAYBE the living room, and the kitchen. That is only about 1/8th of the home! Of course, I DO have about 1/8 dedicated to books and computers. Almost 1/2 the home has NO furniture!

Oh, did I mention I am over 40? I eat, sleep, work, work on my special interests, and that is it

So far as "getting into her game goes"....

I have never really thought of that. Mostly because she really needs to direct everything and sometimes we can't do the things she thinks "I" should be able to do. A good example would be something like making an am TV program come on in the pm. She will pitch a fit and then the whole interactive thing is "blown". Other times.... she is easier to play with. Especially if she is cooking and serving "food". That one is easy because you can always manage to fulfill the request! We have tried things like playing Candy Land, too. She tends to flip out because she doesn't like the card she drew or something like that. I have attempted to let her play by her own rules, but she loses intrest so fast!!

It can be so hard to interact with her..... I always feel like a prop or a toy when she is "playing" with me. She sure is happy playing on her own, however.

The first video game we had was an ancient, hand-me-down Sega system, with an X-Men game, probably the original. My pre-schooler loved making Wolverine climb the tree at the beginning, over and over, which had absolutely nothing to do with the game. He got hooked on lots of little things around the fringes of the game that the creator obviously never intended. It drove my husband crazy. I said, "Don't watch."

Personally, I have absolutely no respect for authority, and little use for arbitrary rules if they serve no practical purpose. Who says you can't eat cereal out of a tall glass? Or wear two different color socks. Or throw the crib (prison) away and put the mattress on the floor. Or make silly shapes with your mashed potato before you eat it...

Growing up, I spent plenty of time actually home alone. I started doing that regularly when I was eleven and I know my dad once left me home when I was seven for a while (My mom thinks he may have been gone the entire night, leaving me home alone waaaaay longer than I should've been at all.). He's lucky I was actually very mature for my age and that all I ended up doing was eating Fruity Pebbles and watching cartoons. It's scary at that age waking up, realizing no one else is there.

Anyway, nowadays, I'm home a ton, but I hate it. I often go shopping and stuff because it gets extremely boring here.

She is now 15, preferres to be in her room most of thetime. She will come downstairs and talk to me for 2 minutes and than go back up.
She has been this way since she was very young.

Generally, my girlfriend's son, Billy, doesn't like to be alone. If given the choice, he would be with us 24/7. When he was younger, he apparently used to almost have meltdowns when mom would go into the bathroom for any amount of time.

He still doesn't like to be alone... AT ALL!! ! He doesn't understand that other people sometimes need alone time (or are tired, sick, had along day, etc). Ah, the wonders of locks on the doors.

my AS son could spend hours alone. playing by himself happily.........my NT son fluctuates between hanging out with others and being by himself.....my ADHD daughter [b]hates [/b]being alone, and wants someone with her constantly !
personally, i can deal better with the need to have alone time, than the need to have together time all the time.

I spend all my time by myself, I have done since a very young age. My brother is exactly the same.

i have AS and i prefer to spend most of my time alone.
as a child i had LOTS of siblings - 7 - and i played with them at times - but i also valued the retreat from them - my marbles, enyclopaedias, books. my family was and is pretty odd however. a lot of autistic characteristis and traits.

Your child sounds an awful lot like mine. He likes to be around people, but he mostly plays independently. He wants to be in the sandbox with the kids, but not necessarily interact with them. He used to watch the same video over and over, often rewinding the same scene many times before moving on. He still does this but not as much. He also talks to himself, quotes videos and acts out things he see's on TV. He doesn't really play "with" people, he directs them like your child. Go here, say this. I just do what he says, play by his rules, but I try to change an element or two to try to get him to be more flexible without it turning into an altercation as much as I can. Sometimes I'm successful. It was much harder to do that at 3.5 years old than it is now (he's 7), but I have him in social skills class for things like this and it's really helping. He likes to spend most of his time in my company, but he generally plays alone unless he makes up a game and wants me to play. He loves his daycare, and actually would rather be there than at home, but the kids are good to him there. They know him and make allowances for him so he feels comfortable. He does NOT want a little brother or sister to play with, he wants it to be just him. He also plays with tape rather than string. Same type of thing.

Is this normal? Yes, in my house it is. Maybe not in the general NT world, but if the way he plays makes him happy and he is free to be himself at least at home then that's wonderful.

MommyJones!! ! Oh my goodness!! They do sound similar, don't they? Does your son have a formal diagnosis of Asperger's? We have our first appointment with an autism specialist on the 16th. We were refered for a possible AD/HD and/or PDD-NOS/Asperger's diagnosis. I don't actually think we have a "differential diagnosis", however. I am so concerned about my daughter because I was/am just like her!! I was diagnosed with adult ADD about 8 years ago, but after reading about Asperger's (I had never even heard of it before) I am convinced that I have it, too (I am going to be assessed some time this year). School was just AWFUL for me! That is another story all together, however......

I am curious, what was your assessment like? We are in Canada and are seeing a specialist at the University of Saskatchewan. I am actually concerned that my daughter will be very well behaved for the specialist and that they will look at me like I am crazy and making it all up!! The most outstanding thing about my child when you first meet her is her talking. She sounds like she is about 5 or 6 years old (she is 3.5) and she will just start talking and may not want to stop. I am hoping that this alone will peak the interest of the doctor.

Thank you so much for the response to my thread! Any information you have would be helpful. It is so hard to find someone whose child sounds "just like" your own. There are so many different combinations of traits. Your son sounds like he could just go off into the sunset with my daughter!! They could do movie scenes together!! Hehehehe.... I am sure your son is as much fun as my daughter is. There is NEVER a dull moment!! EVER!!

PM me if you like!

My son now just 4yrs was like that at about age 2yrs. Wanting to spend time alone. This is what led us down the path to a diagnosis (PDD-NOS/Aspergers).

We met a wonderful psychologist when he was 2yrs, who told us to 'bring' him into family life as much as possible. She advised us not to leave him on his own, even if you are present in the room comenting on what she is doing, keeping him connected with 'normality'. We followed this advice every day, we were worn out. As you said it is soul destroying trying to interact all the time and getting nowhere.

But we continued with it, never forcing him to engage if he didnt want to, but just being with him, showing him you are there even if only in your presence. My son now is very sociable, loves to be around people, we do give him some down time, but we watch him and if he seems to be really 'switching off' we sit with him and comment on what he is doing, like a sportscaster. Right away we have him back with us, and he is not pressureised to say anything or interact if he isnt ready.

That was the most valuable piece of advice we have been given, I dont think it would be good for any childs development to watch videos alone for any length of time. We all need a break and allow them to do this at some point in the day, but maybe try to reduce it slowly.

Thats wonderful that she can talk, and understand language, so you have an advantage to try and break through into her little world. I suppose we were affraid if left in that little world too long, it would be harder to come out as time goes by.

When they are young is the best time to try to mould them. I hope this helps, obviously you will have to be guided by her and if she gets stressed with the company of others. Although I would still slowly try to increase the time she spends with others, it really will benefit her in the long run, because life is full of people.

Good Luck xx