Start 4y old on martial arts to avoid being bullied later?

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My 4-year-old son has recently been dx'd on the spectrum and being different means he'll have a higher risk of being bullied during his school years. I wonder if it's a good idea to start him off in martial arts, to increase his self confidence and ability to defend himself when he gets older.

Is this a good idea, knowing he has some trouble with fine (not with gross) motor skills and keeping his concentration?

If anyone has any experiences to share about HFA kids and martial arts, I would greatly appreciate it

Walther or not it helps with confidence its probably worth it for the exercise alone, but if your son isn't enjoying it I'd try moving to different clubs or sports until he finds one he likes. Being bored without progressing much for an hour a week isn't going to help with self esteem and you can't get good at martial arts without practicing at home, if you don't like it you probably wont practice.

Only sport I ever liked was horserideing, its worth shopping around.

Also has your son got Dyspraxia or any other balance / coordination issues? Its not uncommon to have other things along side Asperger's and if he has something that affects physical movement you'd want to choose a style and instructor who knows how to work with it.

I think that's a great idea, OP. I used to do martial arts, it was awesome. It can help with all sorts of other things as well as self-defence. I wish I'd done martial arts when I was younger, I would have got beaten up less in primary school!

I think it's a good idea.

Just don't get roped into any contracts.

I've always loved the martial arts and plan to get my own son involved when he is old enough. I think for people on the spectrum the body/mind connection you get from practicing forms can be very soothing.

I don't think it will help with bullies though. The only thing that can help with bullies is to be very, very popular.

My son is 5. We (luckily) had an option through our local community schools program for a trial session--one day per week with no commitment. My son does so well in other places I didn't even mention a diagnosis, since I noticed that sometimes doing so lends to him being treated differently by instructors (sometimes not in a positive way).

My son had a very hard time understanding the directions. The instructor would say things like, "JONAH! Hello! Are you in outer space?" He said it in a joking tone of voice, in a "friendly" manner, but of course my little guy would answer in a serious tone, "No. I'm right here," causing the instructor to laugh, in turn causing my son to look completely baffled and laugh nervously and wonder what was funny. He also had a core strength deficit that I had never noticed until I saw he was unable to even do one sit-up and would struggle through manhy of the exercises. Even after I addressed the instructor with some tips it didn't improve much.

Point of rabbit trail: it could be great, but it might not. Seriously take into account your child's abilities and interests, try to visit the martial arts school to observe first, and use those things to make your decision.

I agree with jonahsmom. While the activity itself might be a good thing, if in fact it's something he enjoys, don't expect a self-defense miracle here. He may not have the motor coordination to be able to do it well. Most of all, I wanted to point out that a lot of the problem with AS in social situations is that we can't process incoming stimuli fast enough to respond appropriately. Sometimes having someone walk up and engage me in conversation takes me so off guard that I literally lose my ability to speak for up to twenty or thirty seconds, and when I'm able to speak, I can't come up with anything at all to say because I'm simply overwhelmed by the demands of assessing the body language being used, hearing the things said to me and interpreting them and trying to smile and act like I know what's going on that composing my own part of a dialogue is just too much to juggle at a moment like that.

Here's my point: I've been through the bullying thing all my life. The last bully who attacked me was a boss who demanded my resignation because I had expressed a personal passion for the well being of the business I'd been charged with grooming and managing. Proficiency in martial arts might have made me better able to beat the crap out of him (making ME the bully), but it wouldn't have given me an edge in the social/verbal dance at hand. Knowing how to break bones doesn't make you think faster.

I'm afraid the bullying issue is just one of the curses of AS. We will always be victimized in that way, because alpha personalities look for weaknesses to exploit. It's how they make up for their own weaknesses - like a lack of intellectual dexterity.

It's a great idea. My son did Taekwondo for years and it did help a bit with his confidence -- he FEELS like he can defend himself. His confidence far exceeds is ability, however. He would creamed in a fight. To help with with bullying, we are focusing on his social skills.

It's a know your child situation, to me. Years ago I did some volunteer teaching, and one of the kids had been taking martial arts to help with his self-image. Well, it wasn't a cure for that, and now a child that had no impluse control was also capable of doing great harm to other kids. Which he did, after the second class, outside waiting for their parents (I wasn't there, another adult was). I had been able to keep other kids from teasing him, and he wasn't excluded during class in any way, but there hadn't been time for them to learn to LIKE him, and he sensed that, and it took only one stupid comment to set him off. Result: he got kicked out of the program, just as he had been kicked out of every class before mine. It broke my heart then and still does.

If he enjoys it and it helps his self-confidence, great. But you HAVE to work on his social skills, you HAVE to teach him impulse control, you HAVE to learn his sensory issues and help him mitigate, you HAVE to help him channel his intellectual gifts to his advantage, you HAVE to make sure he is in a positive environment that accepts him for who he is, and you HAVE to teach how to effectively deal with bullies. It can NOT replace any of the above.

You need to research the type of martial arts. My martial arts doesn't take anyone younger than 14 years old.

I talked to people at my club who have done other martial arts, that have also got kids. They said it is best to start on something that teaches basic grappling like judo without striking or full contact sparing. This is for a number of reasons: One is a good discipline to learn, you might as well focus on it. Secondly 4 year olds don't have enough self control to be able to handle striking, gouging, etc.

There are always some risk. Always use a club that has an insurance policy, most gyms/sports venues won't allow any clubs that don't have one, however if it is at someone house there is no regulation.

It's a great idea! Also, teach him basic lifesaving skills like eye-poking, balls-kicking, punching them in the face, etc.

Thank you all very much for your feedback!
I understand the concerns some of you have voiced about teaching martial arts to children with poor impulse control, but so far my son has been a very easy child who very rarely throws any tantrums. We will also be using role play to teach him verbal skills to cope with bullying and other risky situations for him like talking to strangers.

I found a taekwondo school happy to take kids with developmental disorders. If my son hates it, of course we won't insist. But I have good hopes, based on the feedback from other partents about the organization and based on our experience with motor skills development classes my son loves to go to.

Of course, our motives reach further than teaching him physical defense skills, we hope to improve his motor skills and boost his self confidence as well. The timing seems right, as so far he loves new experiences and going to new places.

I started my AS son in Tae Kwon Do at 4 years old (he is now 6.5). It was a park district program and I spoke to the instructor and told him what the issues were (not the dx but the low muscle tone, trouble with co-ordination etc) Anyhow, for him it was good for a couple of years but I recently pulled him out of the program because he was having trouble keeping up with his peers when the moves became more complex and the teacher was reprimanding him for this. I could see that it was starting to be a negative experience for him so I decided to replace Tae Kwon Do for swimming lessons right now.

I think it is a great idea to try martial arts for your 4 year old especially for both of the reasons you mentioned. I think if we were in a smaller class with a more understanding instructor, we may still be doing it now. My advice is to shop around for the right place before making a decision.

I actually just talked to someone with a little knowledge on it the other day, and he asked why.

I said "I want him to learn to discipline himself better, and it would be useful to know how to defend himself if the need ever did arise." He said Tae Kwon Do would be one of the best to start with, there was another one he mentioned as well, but he also said it was harder to find a teacher and pricier. (Guess after hearing that I just kind of filtered it out of my mind. I don't remember what it was called.)

I asked about Judo but he said, not for that, it does teach holds and grapples BUT it really lacks in the discipline part and mostly they would learn to be little brutes.

So, that is what I share from someone who I feel knows a lot more about it than I.

My son does Shotokan Karate and he loves it. He's 9 and is currently a yellow belt.

He never took to team sports, although he did soccer for several years and enjoyed it, but it got to the point last year where it became obvious that my son just couldn't keep up with the other kids. His teammates began teasing him and keeping the ball from him during games, and so we decided that enough was enough. We had our son finish out the season, but then he decided to try Karate. I called around, talked to several instructors, and then decided to try out a dojo near our home. The instructor has worked with plenty of other kids with autism, so that put me at ease. We went early to a class so that he could talk to the instructor, and then he tried a class. He was exhausted at the end of it, and I have to admit that I thought for sure that he'd come out of that class and tell me he hated it. The instructor (sensei) was pretty firm with the kids - and I figured that wouldn't go over very well with my son either. Well, he came out of the class, dripping wet from sweat (another thing he hates), and I asked him very gingerly how it went. He looked at me and said he loved it! I was so shocked! He's been going ever since. There are some weeks when we don't make it to class very often, but over all he goes pretty regularly and I really think it's helped him in many areas. He's learning to have some self-control and discipline, he's feeling a lot more confident about himself since this is something he really CAN do, and he's making friends in the class. Each week they spar and so he gets a chance to spar against various kids in the class and I can always tell when he's sparring against one of his friends because he'll be grinning from ear to ear the entire time.

I don't know about other forms of martial arts, but in Shotokan Karate they learn these types of "routines" called Katas, and they consist of different blocks and things that they learn for belt tests. Then they learn all sorts of different kicks and hand movements, and once you are a yellow belt, you begin to spar. It's not an all-out brawl or anything - it's all VERY regulated and controlled. Our sensei is very good about maintaining control of the class, and the students know that as soon as he claps his hands, the movement stops completely. Anyway, it really worked for our son and I'm glad he's had the opportunity to take part.