Letting them make their own mistakes

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Letting them make their own mistakes and learn for themselves "Oh, this was fun, but I can do this which is even better." is less painful for a certain kind of child than forcing them to do a certain thing when they don't understand why, and don't want to sit through a lecture about "If you don't do this this will happen". What do you think? However, if you tell them the positive reasons why, or the reasons why in a positive way, that's another way to get them to listen. For example, say "You know what's even better? This, because of these good results." And then listing the good results. Sometimes the punishments you inflict on them to get them to do as you say are more painful for them than learning from experience would be.

Depends on the situation but giving your child wings does involve a certain amount of allowing mistakes.

We do know these things, you know

Well, yes. Obviously within reason. But it is true that for most situations, it's better to make your own mistakes. I can certainly understand urgent situations, like "how to avoid being hit by a car". But there are some situations like "how to budget your time and money" that are best learned by oneself.

drives me crazy. I can see the kids blunder into so many mistakes, but the missus insists that they learn from their mistakes. Problem is, it seems she wants them to learn only from mistakes...

I think that a lot depends on the individual AND on the situation. Some people learn best from their own mistakes. Others will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again and seem never to learn from them.

Some people learn best from their own mistakes, and some people learn best from explanation and explicit instruction. I think you have to adapt to the learning style of the person.

you need to be careful about making suggestions like that..........I'm NT, and as a child my parents would always say to me- that was good, but next time why don't you try it this way ?.....I ended up feeling as if what i did was never good enough- like everything i did stunk up the place.........

I just bought an expenssive artist airbrush and my parents won't let me use it until my dad watches the DVD and shows me. Why can't I watch the DVD and teach mysef? My parents think I will just break it. It is MINE to break. I bought it with my own money and I could have bought it TO break if I wanted. My dad says he will show me as soon as his back heals. My dad hurt is back a month ago and it's been over a month since I bought it and it still remains unsused. I am 22 years old but my parents still treat me as if I am 2.

It's been this way with other things too. I've wanted to be a zoo vet for as long as I can remember and even when I was still in primary school my parents said I should try to be a vet technician (the role of an RN for animals) because my math skills were so bad. What a wonderful way to modivaite me to get better. My parents wouldn't let me take drivers education when I turned sixteen because they thought the AS would make it too hard. My dad couldn't pass the math part of the college entrance exam so he thinks I won't be able too either. He says I should apply for vet tech school first and see if I like being a tech then try for vet school. When I told him that would be a huge strain on financial and time resources, he called me lazy. When I asked my mom why she wasn't supportive of me wanting to be a vet she said she didn't want to set me up for disapointment. I'm so sick and tired of my parents making desisions for me becuase of their expirences with the situation or because they don't want me to make a mistake.