His first brush with flirting, lol

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aurea
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02 May 2009, 3:31 pm

My sister and I took our boys to the park/playground yesterday, my son J is AS and 10 and my nephew also a J is 5.
As we approached the park my sister and I headed towards the seats as the boys headed to the play equipment, nephew J to play my J to wander on the fringes (this is what usually happens). However yesterday was a whole new experience, lol. Maybe my J will now want to go back to the park again.
As I statred to say, my J had just stepped into the equipment area when 2 girls about his ages 10 or 11 asked him if he wanted to play tag. His response No I dont do that. Anyway I noticed that these girls were watching him as he was skimming the out skirts of the playground, after about 10 15 minutes the girls had approached him again. I was to far away to hear what was going on, he looked nervous but he wasnt leaving so I just sat back. For about the next 20 minutes the girls followed him around the various areas of the playground that I know my J feels comfortable with, they all then sat down and appeared to be talking friendly like. All three kids (the two girls and my J) got up and walked closer to where my sister and I were sitting, I called J over and asked him how he was doing. I noticed he had nearly chewed a hole threw the sleeve of his top and he looked a little nervous. He got really close to me and said"I'm not sure about these girls, they keep following me, they are making me nervous". I sugested to him if he was feeling nervous to just stay where I could see him and perhaps he could go find his cousin. Another 10 minutes went past and the girls followed J to another seat, I nearly went over there but nephew J beat me to it (nephew J is very out spoken and when needed very protective) all the kids got up again and this time the girls actually looked like they were going to go play on the equipment, my J came over to me and said " I think they have a crush on me". I so badly wanted to laugh. :D To my J this is a very foreign idea. I know other 10 year old boys that have been interested in girls for a while.
Anyway after another approx 15 minutes of playground wandering around J brought the girls over to me and I asked their names and ages etc, all the kids spent maybe a few minutes longer together then the girls had to check in with their parents some where over the other side of the park. The whole experience was a real eye opener and very entertaining from my perspective, my J kept going between being really nervous and curious at the same time. Any way I managed to get him alone for a few minutes, and I asked him if he was ok he said yes, he'd apparently said to the girls "You keep following me, it's like you have a crush on me or something! ( I told my sister what he said, she was laughing saying no way he didn't, but as we all know these kids say it as they see it) The girls said that perhaps one of them did, they asked him if he was already going out with someone, (don't know what he said to this) they asked him which one of them he liked his response was " well she has a nice voice and she (the other one) looks pretty" ha ha ha talk about keeping your options open and being very diplomatic. He said "mum, I think I was blurting, oops flirting with them". Oh my it was so hard not to laugh :lol: . I could tell he was so curious about the whole situation. The girls came back, and spent the remander of our time at the park, following my J around and hanging off his every word. You could imagin the thoughts that were going threw my head, I could see he was enjoying but yet still confussed by their attention.
When it was time to go, I collected J and we were walking away, the girls yelled out good bye J said yeah bye ( not really loud enough to be heard) I could hear them yelling "what, what did you say" but that was it, my J had moved on he didn't even turn around- he'd said his goodbye they were now a thing of the past.



DW_a_mom
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02 May 2009, 3:50 pm

Oh, gosh, lol, I am smiling ear to ear reading that one :)

My son really isn't interested in girls. There have been a few rumored to be interested in him over the years, but he tends to get this impatient expression on his face if it's brought up. Basically the same way he acts towards the young kids that used to follow him around because he has such a gift for game inventing, or because he did a brilliant magic act in the talent show (I call those boys his groupies :) ). He is tangentially friends with some pretty wonderful girls, though. Pretty, smart, AND one watches out for him at school, reporting to her mom when he isn't treated fairly (he doesn't seem to notice) who then tells me and the whole thing gets solved. But my son's best friend has a crush on that girl so I hope it's just kindness and not romantic (I do wonder sometimes) because then we'd have quite the triangle going on, lol. Oh the round-a-bouts of young romance!

Years ago when I was trying to teach my son to respect other people's private space and boundaries, and to pay attention to the signals that they may not want to be touched, I told him I was scared of what would happen when he dated, and that maybe I shouldn't let him date. Well, of course, THAT statement of mine he's remembered, and if we bring up girls at all he'll play it back to me, with a "I don't think I want to date anyway."

I'm torn between being happy we're dodging that bullit for now and disappointed in the fun that I'm missing.

So, I'll just enjoy your stories for now :D


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jenny8675309
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03 May 2009, 10:56 am

Aww, that's sweet. :)



2ukenkerl
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03 May 2009, 2:40 pm

Well, I am sure I have AS, and I liked girls VERY early on. In fact one problem I had was that I didn't know when I was really supposed to start showing that I liked them. At 6yo, a psychiatrist figured that because I saw indian squaws in almost all of his ink blots that I must like girls. at least he didn't say anything about indians or feathers or breasts, so I guess I can be happy about that! But the odd thing is that he was right. My mother and I knew that, but THAT wasn't my problem. In fact, decades later, AS explains it ALL! BTW the inkblots seriously DID look like indian squaws. Humanoid, with protrusions like breasts, and a feather like appendage, what else was I to think?

I don't think that I ever had your sons "problem" though. 8-( In fact, I was SHOCKED when I found out, after the fact, that girls sometimes act HOSTILE when they are interested. I DID have THAT problem. For a time, they had a biscuit commercial here where the father tells his daughter about how BOYS act that way. He uses the biscuit to illustrate(flaky outside, and soft inside). And she says "OHHHH, I get it!".

Oh well, I always liked girls(At least as long as I can remember any such feelings), but it got EXTREMELY strong around 13. If the same thing happens to your boy, WATCH OUT! He could go from a big disinterest to an obsession literally overnight.

He probably won't believe it, but you can explain to him that his feelings will probably change soon. He is at an age when it could happen any moment. With me, 13 was only the high point.



PrisonerSix
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04 May 2009, 3:31 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Oh, gosh, lol, I am smiling ear to ear reading that one :)

My son really isn't interested in girls. There have been a few rumored to be interested in him over the years, but he tends to get this impatient expression on his face if it's brought up. Basically the same way he acts towards the young kids that used to follow him around because he has such a gift for game inventing, or because he did a brilliant magic act in the talent show (I call those boys his groupies :) ). He is tangentially friends with some pretty wonderful girls, though. Pretty, smart, AND one watches out for him at school, reporting to her mom when he isn't treated fairly (he doesn't seem to notice) who then tells me and the whole thing gets solved. But my son's best friend has a crush on that girl so I hope it's just kindness and not romantic (I do wonder sometimes) because then we'd have quite the triangle going on, lol. Oh the round-a-bouts of young romance!

Years ago when I was trying to teach my son to respect other people's private space and boundaries, and to pay attention to the signals that they may not want to be touched, I told him I was scared of what would happen when he dated, and that maybe I shouldn't let him date. Well, of course, THAT statement of mine he's remembered, and if we bring up girls at all he'll play it back to me, with a "I don't think I want to date anyway."

I'm torn between being happy we're dodging that bullit for now and disappointed in the fun that I'm missing.

So, I'll just enjoy your stories for now :D


I used to think all girls were very dictatorial, manipulative, had an extreme sense of entitlement, and a few other things I won't mention. I think that was caused by my relationship with my sister and my mother, who were both the same way towards me. In 8th grade, I was picked on not only by boys, but by girls as well. Even if I had interest in girls, I wanted nothing to do with people who behaved the way girls I knew behaved.

The fact that the teasing/tormenting by girls continued into high school didn't exactly give me incentive to change my views. Didn't date in high school, college, or for a number of years after graduating, because of those stereotypes.

Fortuantely, my parents never tried to pressure me to date.


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2ukenkerl
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04 May 2009, 5:05 pm

PrisonerSix,

It is DUMB, but some things that make me HATE some females also make them a bit endearing. :? I would LOVE a nice, caring woman that is logical, reasonable, honest, pretty and communicates clearly but, alas, they aren;t that common and most are taken. No offense to anyone if that comes out wrong.



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05 May 2009, 9:22 am

2ukenkerl wrote:
PrisonerSix,

It is DUMB, but some things that make me HATE some females also make them a bit endearing. :? I would LOVE a nice, caring woman that is logical, reasonable, honest, pretty and communicates clearly but, alas, they aren;t that common and most are taken. No offense to anyone if that comes out wrong.


That doesn't make sense to me, but to each their own I guess. I never found anything endearing about teenage girls, they made no sense to me at all. College girls didn't make much sense either. Once I finished school, I didn't know how to meet anyone, so I spent several years alone.

Believe it or not, I've been married for 8 years now and have enjoyed it alot. We've had our ups and downs, but it's been good so far. I've told her alot of the things I thought about women to which she responded, "Not all of us are like that."

That's life I guess.


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annotated_alice
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05 May 2009, 9:54 am

That is so cute!

There is a little girl that I suspect has a crush on one of my sons. She talks to him a bit too much and "mothers" him a bit. He thinks she is absolutely awful! Bossy and "always telling him stuff" are his complaints. Poor girl. :lol: But there is a girl my son has taken notice of. She is very pretty and extremely quiet and soft spoken. I think that the girl who eventually wins my sons heart, will not be a talker!



2ukenkerl
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05 May 2009, 5:23 pm

PrisonerSix wrote:
2ukenkerl wrote:
PrisonerSix,

It is DUMB, but some things that make me HATE some females also make them a bit endearing. :? I would LOVE a nice, caring woman that is logical, reasonable, honest, pretty and communicates clearly but, alas, they aren;t that common and most are taken. No offense to anyone if that comes out wrong.


That doesn't make sense to me, but to each their own I guess. I never found anything endearing about teenage girls, they made no sense to me at all. College girls didn't make much sense either. Once I finished school, I didn't know how to meet anyone, so I spent several years alone.

Believe it or not, I've been married for 8 years now and have enjoyed it alot. We've had our ups and downs, but it's been good so far. I've told her alot of the things I thought about women to which she responded, "Not all of us are like that."

That's life I guess.


First, I didn't say teenage girls, I said FEMALES! Hey, I STILL remember a teenage girl, in my spanish class, dancing with a leotard on. OK, she really had a figure, and she FLAUNTED it! I felt like a poor kid with her being some store owner flaunting the most expensive and tasty candy. Yet, even though I knew I wouldn't even say HI, and she was kind of atunting me, I liked it. Almost like the aroma of that candy.

OK, you have what I probably never will, and don't seem to have had any earlier appreciation for them. Still, I wish you the best. That girl in that class of mine could have had ANYTHING happen. I wish HER the best also, even if she did taunt me so.



PrisonerSix
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06 May 2009, 11:44 am

2ukenkerl wrote:
First, I didn't say teenage girls, I said FEMALES! Hey, I STILL remember a teenage girl, in my spanish class, dancing with a leotard on. OK, she really had a figure, and she FLAUNTED it! I felt like a poor kid with her being some store owner flaunting the most expensive and tasty candy. Yet, even though I knew I wouldn't even say HI, and she was kind of atunting me, I liked it. Almost like the aroma of that candy.

OK, you have what I probably never will, and don't seem to have had any earlier appreciation for them. Still, I wish you the best. That girl in that class of mine could have had ANYTHING happen. I wish HER the best also, even if she did taunt me so.


Teens, college girls, and women in general haven't ever made much sense to me. I did eventually find one who would accept me as I am, and not want me to change.


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