What if people really mimicked video games?

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Basically acted like the world was a platformer game, with an extra wimpy flavour because I was just like that back then.

If real-life were like video games -

- Roads would be covered in dead frogs that didn't quite make it across.
- Paperboys would be considered a menace to society (too old school?)
- Animals could talk.
- Princesses would be kidnapped all the time.
- People rescuing Princesses would often find themselves in the wrong castle.
- Punch-ups in the street would end if someone did their Super Combo Finish move.
- Skateboarders could defy gravity and the laws of physics.
- Everything you do would be considered a quest. You could level up by going to the grocery store as long as you bought exactly 10 of those things, 10 of that and 5 of those, before returning to that strange old man for your reward.
- Killing an animal (please don't) would make it drop the strangest things, like swords and magical hats.
- Going to work/school would be an epic journey of a thousand miles, where you had to fight your way through millions of dangerous creatures.
- Every new friend you made would have amnesia, but would later discover that they are destined to save the world and mostly likely sacrifice themselves in the process.
- You couldn't travel abroad until you bought the expansion pack.
- A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.
- Talking to random people in the street would make them tell you their entire life-story every-time you spoke to them.
- Giant yellow, disembodied heads with large mouths would be notorious drug addicts.
- Elite Special Forces soldiers would be able to see through walls and other objects.
- A person's pet would follow them everywhere and battle against other pets on command.
- Dancing would be reduced to standing on a mat and stepping on arrows in time to the music.

someone coughed. i did not see who it was. i will not allow myself to remain in danger of catching a cold.

FPS fans in the military would kill more birds than people.

People wouldn't be able to get hit by vehicles and dive out of the way, like in the Midtown Madness games.

People would actually jump into your car and get run over, people would keep running into walls for no real reason but to try to get out of a building, and in every highway there would be massive pile-ups of people incompetently crashing into each other, people getting out and beating people up in those crashes if their car gets crashed, and any car that gets flipped over catches on fire and blows up. Oh, and if you hit a police car, they'll go full out brutality on you (maybe this actually does happen, the cop car part).

Ah, San Andreas, you bring so many memories.

People would flock to the stores to buy red and white spheres to capture wild animals. Ants would be pitted against elephants.
You could successfully carry a bicycle, a berry pouch, fifty potions, fifty balls, fifty discs and a hundred random objects without fear of getting weighed down.
Psychologists would be mysteriously replaced by anthropomorphic foxes holding spoons. Surgeons will be replaced by pink eggs with stubby hands. There'd be hospitals with these egg creatures and human clones running them,

Animal Crossing, New Leaf:
Animals would talk, stand upright, wear clothes, and be the best neighbors ever. They would send me hand-written letters even though I talk with them all the time, throw me a party on my birthday, send me a gift after I visited and gave them one on their birthday, or after visiting my house, or after I visited their house. And if they do occasionally get upset with me they're very forgivable and don't sat angry or sad for long, even if I did something pretty mean like whack them over the head with my bug net (repeatedly). I would be able to make a fortune by catching fish and bugs that normally only exist on certain places on the planet, digging up fossils daily, and harvesting fruit that grows even in winter. And possibly the strangest of all, I'd be able to carry many live insects and fish around with me, including Whale Sharks, the biggest fish in the world, and if I go scuba diving I only have to worry about being mildly stung from jellyfish while sharks, stingrays and moray eels would just swim away. And if I were the mayor of the town I wouldn't have to worry about things like the townies wanting to lynch me because I decided to spend my extra money on getting an new room to my house since they don't pay taxes anyway.

If I mimicked the video games I played I would be in prison for repeated breaking and entering random people's houses and would have multiple restraining orders on me for the amount of females I would try to "romance" by talking to over and over again, hoping to uncover a hidden dialog option to initiate said romance.

Pokemon fans would not be allowed within 50 feet of any animal because of involvement in animal fighting circles and for trying to breed cats with whales.

i don't like Sonic for the most part, but here we go.