Oh, if only life were a JRPG...

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Nothing much has been happening in my life as of late, and so I've got to thinking how much excitement would be had if life resembled a Japanese role-playing game.

I picture it like this... you train in swordplay and magickery, and when you go out into the world there's a chance of being confronted by wild beasts or terrorists, and defeating them directly contributes to your level of battle experience which effectively makes you stronger. There would be financial gain in the form of looting the dead bodies for money or goods of value that could be sold to a vendor.

I used to have a similar dream like this, but with Pokémon; I suppose growing up does that to a person...

What have I missed? Please add to it!

Cute, furry critters will attack you every few steps you take for no apparent reason. You may or may not feel bad that you must kill them.

Bisexuality would be common because men and women are equally gorgeous.

It would be a normal thing for conversations to go like this.

"....."

"........"

"......"

".....!"

Good stuff! Especially the bisexuals; very creative.

And that's what else: airships! We'd need those.

So would there be free health care, then? Or is that just for animals?

The English translation will star terrible voice actors with overacting and corny dialogue flooding it. As long as there's a good battle system, I wouldn't mind a JRPG lifestyle.

I dunno. One of my most hated things is the culture surrounding clothes, and I'm pretty sure it would be much easier to commit a fashion mistake in a JRPG. I'd probably end up wearing five belts instead of six, and everyone would be sniggering at me behind my back...

Ugh, imagine how annoying it would be to maintain those hairstyles, especially for women. I have yet to see a JRPG character with a crew cut (though I admit to not playing many).

I dunno, I could imagine the fights getting boring and tedious after a while. Having to stand in a row with your buddies and wait your turn to hit someone... And let's not get started on the summons.

Still, if I could attract people by acting all broody and angsty, I would.

Maxing Social Links would still be tedius

not if you use a guide.

Lets see... Classes can be skipped.

People will be your friend just because you are in the same battle.

Save spots all around.

Video games will be even more epic.

More awkward you are the cuter you are.

Guns would be useless.

If real life were a JRPG

Your mouth would be smaller than your eyes unless you became angry; at which point your mouth would become larger than most people's heads.

There would be only a few personalities, and they would be based on Archetypes of: the Whining Dependent Male, the Strong Independent Female, the Pervert, the Small Annoying Person, the Always Angry Person, the Beautiful Ditz, the Grim Angsty Person (Emo), the Philosophical Grandparent, the Introvert, the Bat-Hat Crazy Nutcase, the Perfectionist, the Convenient Prodigy, the Cat-Human Hybrid, the Overly Butch/Macho Person, the Ambiguous Gender Person, the Overtly GBLT Person, the Glutton, the Sloth, and the Hair-Trigger Person. (See also this "List of Stock Japanese Characters")

Everyone would have a 70-foot tall Gandam Mecha at his or her immediate disposal.

Females would be completely oblivious of their sexual attractiveness, unless they were also evil and manipulative.

Everyone would have a tragic back-story that involves losing at least one parent and/or a beloved sibling.

Everyone would be proficient in such martial-arts weapons as: the Iron Fan, the Kama, the Manriki-Gusari, The Katana, the Nunchaku, the Shuriken, and the 10-Pound Mallet. All of these weapons would be carried in some mysterious, trans-dimensional space that can be accessed by simply reaching behind one's own back...

Japanese anime world, yeah. Not JRPG, though. Too many random battles to go through otherwise.