Difficulties playing with others?

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Okay, so here's one I was wondering about, specifically wondering how much this aspect may or may not be connected to autism in general.

Specifically, difficulties in multiplayer games. Could be anything, just specifically when playing with or against others.

Me for example... my whole issue is that for whatever reason, I tend to get intimidated REALLY easily when it comes to multiplayer gaming. Now, the part where this gets really stupid is that I've done alot of multiplayer in certain genres. Fighting games, for instance. I've played those to death. I'm a very high-level player, and have often been described just as a "monster" in-game. It's very rare I meet an opponent capable of standing up to me.

And yet, I run into this issue ANYWAY. I'm the one winning the vast majority of the time, but I'll still get nervous and paranoid when up against a new opponent (and that's frequent in that genre! Particularly with such short matches) and I'll sort of have this reaction like "Oh crap, oh crap, here we go, new opponent, I dont know this guy, am I going to do well here or just make an idiot of myself? Is anyone going to yell at me or insult me? What's going to happen? Argh!". That I will typically win just fine after this, over and over and over, doesnt stop it from happening.

Typically in gaming of any sort, the more agitated I get, the more berserk I become. In a fighting game, this is actually useful, particularly as I have the speed to actually make such a style work. But it doesnt help in most other genres, which is where I run into problems. It can just make things go downhill instead. Particularly with team games... one-on-one can be intimidating enough as it is! But a full team game.... ugh. Talk about paranoia overload. I can typically handle like, one match at a time.... sometimes.... and then I have to stop. Probably after not exactly doing so well. Even in purely co-op games like MMOs, this can still happen.

It can also cause other effects. Normally, when dealing with single-player games, I tend to very easily grasp even absurdly complicated games. Dwarf Fortress for instance, if anyone is familiar with that. That game is legendary for it's hellish Learning Curve of Absolute Confusion, but I really dont have trouble grasping it. But put me in a MULTIPLAYER game that is really complicated... and hoboy, it's like a bad comedy routine. I'm gonna forget stuff (more than usual), get lost, get confused, do something dumb like charge at a target that I shouldnt... stuff like that.

Now, with all of this, to at least some degree I can deal with it better once I'm used to a game enough. Like, this problem gets me the most in the MOBA genre right now... Dota, League of Legends, Smite... those games. I really like the genre, but it's got a nasty learning curve! I'm still new to it overall. League is actually the one I've messed with most, and I get the least intimidation and paranoia from it. I often play a support role, and I'm good at saving my teammates from themselves. Yet if I then jump into a similar game, yet one I'm totally new to... well, the experience I've had with LoL sorta pops, leaving me acting like i"ve never touched one of those games before. And again, if I can bring myself to stick with it long enough, this effect will fade eventually. But it's hard to do that! World of Tanks, I think, is the team-based game I have the least trouble with, as I did manage to get over the godawful early learning cliff, and have a good couple hundred matches in. I still get a little paranoid, but not too bad, and I usually do well enough. But yeah... GETTING to that point is just torture.



So yeah.... that's MY issue with multiplayer stuffs.

Do any of you have any issues similar to this? Wether it be similar issues with intimidation, or anything at all. Or even any stories about it? I'm interested to see what possible responses might arise to this particular topic.

A lot of people have this, it is performance anxiety.

I could play my stepson at table tennis and play my best because I was used to him.
I played someone I didnt know and my playing was at 30%.

I had to really force myself to win a point, I felt like I was doing something mean to my opponent if I played well and ended the point.

I know this feeling. When I play video games multiplayer or by myself the more I think that I'm going to screw up the more likely I will screw up.

Here's an example:

I was playing Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe and was facing off against Dark Khan. I was doing fine, but I kept talking down to myself about what a sorry excuse of a gamer I am compared to other people (I have horrific self-esteem even when it comes to my hobbies) and I lost. When I play video games, I try three times before I take a break. If I don't get it right those three times, it's a game. I can always play it in 25 minutes or so.

Here's a multiplayer example:

I played Marvel vs. Capcom online and started talking down to myself, lost against a person and felt humiliated.

I understand what you feel and i pass through something similar with games.
I get way too anxious when playing any kind of multiplayer, even if i know that i'm good and/or facing people that i could surely win.
This bad feeling reflect in the fact that almost every game that i enjoyed to play through the years were single player games. The only two exceptions for games that i actually had some fun while playing with other people are World of Warcraft and Diablo 3 and that's probably because i started to play both of them when i was already older enough to deal better with the anxiety.
But even with those two games whenever i play them with other people i am always too worried and end up not having too much fun. In WoW i am quite a good player having achieved some high ratings at PvP and even so whenever i am about to do arenas it's always exhausting for me because of this anxiety.
Fighting games i used to like when i was a kid but just because i could easily learn how to beat the IA. Once i needed more challenge and tried to fight other people i couldn't bare the pressure and just stopped playing.

I don't have any interest in it in general. But I like to play games for the narrative, not for the challenge, which probably makes sense that I have no interest to include others.

On the other hand; I sometimes enjoy playing with friends whom I know in real life. In my teens I frequently played Half life 1 death match with my friend through LAN at his place. Had a lot of fun there. But it was 1v1.

Sometimes I give Injustice: gods among us or Skullgirls a whirl online, but I lose so fast it's not funny anymore. I suspect these people either play these games way more or I suck at them (or both).

What's funny though, I do play Magic: the gathering: online, which you actually have to play against others. I'm totally cool with that. But perhaps it's because I like to play that game with physical cards as well, but actually care little about whom I'm playing against. I tend to get a bit in my own zone I guess, but I've found that's quite acceptable if you're playing competitively.

So maybe it's that I don't do well with "casual" playing against others, but actually do fine when it's competitive.

I'm the same way. When it comes to pokemon, I limit my battles and trades to friends only. Basically, you have to be a very close friend of mine to do those things. I've also struggled a lot with MMoRPGs as well because of my lack of social skills. I would often become extremely overwhelmed from interacting that I felt like I was freaking out. Also, I wouldn't say I'm a sore loser... but I have a hard time if I don't win the battle. :/

I actually have the exact opposite experience in games. Try as I might not to be, I can be really nasty to people in LoL who either act aloof (if we're in ranked) or just don't care to contribute. I mean I am vicious, even if I see them screwing over the enemy team (if they're on it). Although as an Aspie I have the vast majority of my emotions in control, compulsive anger has never been my strong suit. Additionally, when I was a kid my parents would ridicule me terribly if I did anything less than what they thought was the best I could do. They would even put me in competitions with my younger brother and tease me if I did not prevail over him (this was unfair to us both). I'm 32 now and I went to therapy due to the rage management (my entire extended family is a rage-o'holic clan) and this is really the only manifestation I have left and I really wish I could nip it in the bud. I get so ashamed of how I act when I finally calm down. It's so impulsive and strong that I can't even think through it like I could in other emotional situations. I really wish I could get over the fear of losing. But at least now you a potential other side of when other gamers might be hot headed with you when it doesn't seem like you are doing your best. Just know that some of us feel bad about it.

I have problems with multiplayer games and to be honest I prefer just playing against "the computer". Part of it is that I'm just not awfully good (I'm old after all) and no one likes to get thrashed. A lot of it is social anxiety though - I don't go in for trash talk and I don't want to be on the receiving end of it. it's just not my character. Maybe if I was playing with people I knew it would be different.

Another issue I have with multiplayer gaming though is that I can't do what I want when I want. I tend to play games most days but not for long periods of time - I have to fit them around my other responsibilities. I played World of Worldcraft for a while a few years ago but I didn't enjoy doing long instances which lasted for hours (I think I only got as far as Gnomeregan - I didn't do any really big ones). I was in a friendly Guild but it took ages to get everyone organised and then we had to keep stopping when someone's baby started crying, or they had to answer the 'phone or something).

If gaming becomes more and more multiplayer focused I think I'm going to lose interest.

I don't play many games for the challenge--to be honest, there are way too many of them that kick my @ss. I play them for the fun or the story, and mostly by myself. I played with my younger brother on NES, SNES, and Genesis when we were kids, and I've played Atari and Nintendo with my mom; that's always fun.

But it's more stressful to play against a stranger. Sometimes I would be playing Soul Calibur (I or II) at the mall arcade and somebody would just come up, put a coin in and challenge me without saying a word. Every time it happened I sweated bullets, worried that I would lose badly and be totally embarrassed. Luckily, I won most of those fights. I even played a friend of mine who was an expert at SC2 and had lost to only one other opponent in years of playing the game, and broke about even with him. I beat him more times on the PS2 version, he beat me more times on GameCube.

I would agree that confidence, anxiety, and relationship to the opponent has a lot to do with how we perform in multiplayer.