Grudge-Match

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I'm autistic... this isn't really a point of pride but it isn't really anything to be ashamed of... it's like being gay only you suck at interior decoration...

That said there's a burning question; we all know that autistics suck at militarism (no social organization, individualism) but are capable of superhuman berserking and have bizarre forms of willpower (I've seen it before)... in other words we're kind of like Hobbits...

Who would win? An army of 100 autistics (as per real life) versus an army of 100 Hobbits( as per Tolkein)... both sides approach a clearing in a forest from both sides...

The rules:

No devices more sophisticated than a chu-ko-nu or ballista are allowed. Any weapon made exclusively after the Renaissance is not allowed.

Gunpowder is not available to either side. Neither is flaming oil or equivalent primitive chemical weapons. All weapons are kinetic. Swords, axes, spears and gardening tools are allowed.

The terrain is neutral; it is a clearing in a forest with tall grass in places and trees to all 4 sides...

Dirty tricks are acceptable but neither side has the tactical organization to pull of anything Sun Tzu style...

Neither side have "heroes" these are randomly selected hobbits and autistics. Frodo Baggins and Temple Grandin do not show up.

Autistics weigh 175 pounds on average; a hobbit weighs 110 pounds on average; hobbits have better stealth and dodging but autistics are bigger and are more difficult to kill.

No reinforcement from their respective supporting storylines are allowed.

Everything else is considered fair play...

So who would win.

I'm personally voting autistics but that's faction bias. I believe the hobbits would be too busy smoking weed and committing the vice of gluttony to really slaughter anything except stupid orcs and poorly animated trolls.

hobbits would win

How do you come up with this stuff.
I am sort of a pacifist (and an autistic) myself so I am not okay with using garden tools to harm cute little hobbits. Allthough I don't really know any, exept for Frodo and the other guy who plays Charlie on LOST. They are cute:)

Oh, so the hobbits want some of this. Tell em to bring it.
A

Why do we have to fight all the time?

We could make up, breed and give birth to autistic Hobbits.

interesting idea. What would an autistic hobbit look like?
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I think it'd be a no score draw - the aspies would be either unable to look directly at any of the hobbits, or would be too clumsy and uncoordinated and so would miss with all their shots, whilst the hobbits would be all either too busy on their cell-phones talking to Hollywood agents or Immac-ing their feet to want to fight anybody.

I'd have to say the autistics would win. Some of us can go pretty berserk when pushed too far. As for breeding, I can't imagine an autistic hobbit.... without laughung, hahaha.

sorry, but humans of any type will not stand a chance against hobbits.

.......runs away

For defense we could devise large quantities of matting with spikes 8 inches apart.

While we could easily tip toe through the spikes the Hobbits feet would be too large to pass through the defensive barrier.

I think I should go and lie down now, I'm taking this too seriously

In fact there is a major flaw in my master plan ~ they might get extra large tough boots.

Strategy ~

1st we attack the shoe shops. Once we have control of the shoe shops we build a defesive perimiter of the special matting. From these outposts we can repeatedly raid the Hobbit camp and retreat back to our base.

PLEASE sombody stop this thread ~ I'm crackiing up!! !

what if they kick in the shins?
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All we need to do to win is engage them in absurdly long, inescapable conversations about the mechanics of internal combustion engines and their impact on american industry.

hobbits rule the world. (and not just cause I'm dating one.)

No one wins. We all rent a Harry Potter dvd, have some snacks, and then go to sleep. It is a nice war