exorcism

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There is no need for exorcism. Simply holding a cat will drive away any demons.

Yes, I have seen it before. My dad can cast out the demons quite easily. He has been doing it ever since 1974 when the crippled child was crippled by the devil who was in her crippled legs and my dad stopped her crippledness and she could walk when he cast the demons from her legs!! ! The demons then flew into a jar and father destroyed the jar with the POWER OF JESUS!! I wasn't born then but he told me about it now, he exorcises demons on Tuesdays and Saturdays after bingo.

He has a broom closet he emptied out and uses as a Re-education Center (ReC) and he places the possessed in there for days and helps them find the Word of the Lord. He also stores open paint buckets and gasoline and fertilizer in there, because he noticed it helps the brain become more receptive to Jesus. HE CAST THE DEMONS OUT OF THE POSSESSED AND BACK TO HELL WHERE THEY SPAWNED FROM!

However, when we took a bus to San Fransisco (the den of sin) and tried to get them to repent and father was hit by a beer bottle in the face and our van was stolen by the evil sinners and later we saw the sinners driving around in my dad's van and they shot fireworks or something at us!! ! It was a horrible time and I still have nightmares!


Do those prayers also work for the invisible pink unicorn, blessed be her holy hooves, and the flying spaghetti monster?

I noticed you forgot to mention Shintoists, I think they do a pretty fine and dandy job of exorcising immaterial spirits that only exist in the minds of the paranoid. It's disrespectful to assume your faith is the only one with a corner in the market when it comes to exorcism, especially when it came from good ideas like Zoroaster of Zoroastrianism, Mithra of Persia, Attis of Phrygia, Dionysus of Greece, Krishna of India, and Horus of Egypt among others. Reminds me of copyright theft and all of the horrors and backstabbing it entails. n_n

Gee Taruby, it sounds like you like to make up stories. Usually Aspergers folks are scrupulously honest. How did your mother end up in the state facility?
Also, you said:

Horus is definitely cast-outable. Last witch I cleaned up had that demon. It left fairly quickly. Mithra is another name for the Babylonian Nimrod which I have frequently cast out. I don't know about the rest of them.

It seems that you are trying to use fear-based ad hominen attacks on my credibility. From my point of view, it sounds like you are making up stories as well, it seems likely that based on scepticism, we're both in the same boat. However, I feel that my stories have a humorous merit based on the fact that it is obviously satire.

They're all the original sources of inspiration for much of the Abrahamic and Christian religions. The reason you have not heard about them is because Christianity does not like the competition nor do they like the idea that people might figure out where their source of inspiration lies.

i take offense to that.

i'm a satanist, not a humanist.

LaVey Satanist?
They're pretty cool, I agree with their attempts to tax all churches. n_n

I like their statements and core beliefs in terms of responsibility and knowledge, but the traditional and ritualistic stuff are recreational activities I don't care for much along with the violence and pride. ._.

certainly not worshiping a figure created by christianity.

Well Skafaterh84, confession is good for the soul!

Then you know all about the demons and principalities that also serve Satan. You also know about using sacrifices to empower your prayers. You know that all the 'talents' that you have are simply demons and not your own. You also know that when Satan tires of you he will have you killed. He sees you as a useful idiot.

God still loves you. I will be praying for you just as I am sure you are praying for me.

Yep, that's what I wrote alright!

I believe in demons,but not the kind that is being talked about here.

And,I've only seen exorcisms on TV and Youtube.


-SpaceCase

I think people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking with trillions and trillions of prayers everday, asking and pleading and begging for favours, "Do this", "Gimme that", "I need a new car", "I want a better job" and most of this praying takes place on Sunday, His day off. It's not nice and it's no way to treat a friend.

It's okay, pray for anything you want. Pray for anything but what about the Divine Plan? Remember that, the Divine Plan. A long ago, God made a Divine Plan, gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice, and for billions and billions of years the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along and pray for something. Well, suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan. What do you want Him to do, change His plan? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use with being God if someone can come along and mess up your plan?

Here's something else, suppose your prayers aren't answered? What do you say, "Well, It's God's Will. Thy Will be done." Fine, but if it's God's Will, He's going to do what he wants to anyway, why bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me, why not skip the praying part and go straight to His Will?

If this offends you, please remember that you called skafather84 an idiot by use of fear-based correlation with a natural force that has no need for sacrifices or prayers, so I think the level of respect you have for him and his ways is more than enough justification for a little joke.

Hi Taruby,
I'm glad you asked. If God had not given us his promises, we would have no leverage with God at all. But since he felt motivated to do so, we can feel free to use them!
For that matter, we need to avoid his negative promises for the sake of our welfare. Even Satan does that. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
God has a lot of positive promises. If we fulfill them, he blesses us. One of the blessings is answers to our prayers. It's hard to summarize all the positive promises. We need to trust Him, obey Him, acknowledge Him and love Him. We need to love others as much as He loves us.
You may disagree with God, but He is still the only show in town. Why did God limit his absolute sovereignty like this? I don't know. You will have to ask him yourself.

he has the right to believe whatever he wants. still doesn't change that he's wrong...but he's free to believe otherwise!

Possession is real, banal and everyday. It's the person who leads you astray, the false friend who betrays you. It's not like in movies... 180 degree head spins and projectile vomiting. I've only seen that sort of thing, like overelastic bodies, grimacing faces and impossible movements very occasionally. Generally there is no outward sign of possession expect the content of the speech. Judas was possessed when he betrayed Jesus, he's not described as having any outward signs, it just says that a demon entered into him.

I can cast out demons, but they just come back in a few minutes or move to the next 'empty vessel'. I guess I don't have what Jesus did. These days I just ask 'demon, what is your name?' to establish whether the person (usually spouting abuse or defaming me) is possessed. It's more for my own satisfaction really, I just like to know whether I'm talking to a person or the demon inhabiting them.

Last edited by Postperson on 05 Apr 2007, 2:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

demons are fictional. quit playing pretend and join the real world.