I think Aspergeans should NOT have children

Post Reply New Topic

You are talking about something that I thought a lot about. My both parents are autistic, they didn't have any idea and still don't. I came out very autistic, got beat up in school by the elementary school teacher (a little Hitler lady that I had for a teacher 4 years). Of course nobody knew in my country what autistic was. A lot of stuff happened because of the ignorance those days. I would freeze when someone would yell at me, I would get beat up, after I didn't/couldn't move for an hour. Etc. My daughter has it, less than me, I think. I had to have big battles with her school. She seems that she gets depressed sometimes, but right a way when she gets home, she's fine. I was very badly depressed after I had her. It's called postpartum depression...but I don't think it was depression. I was just unhappy with my husband, probably. Now, I am thinking about getting inseminated for one child. I looked very careful for a donor from Denmark. But it seems to me that I constantly get attracted to autistic people. The descriptions of the donors tell a lot about them, they seem to be very smart geeks (anti-oximoron?). For some reason, what's alike attracts each other for long term. Opposites attract, but they can't stay together, unless they work really hard at it. So I am thinking that I will end up with another AS child, G-d willing. An NT child would hate me, I don't have anything to offer if I think about it, but I am able to help my daughter. I think that AS are on a big rise in numbers. And I also think that maybe what is seen as depression is actually isolation and being sick of being isolated and not being able to find a partner to keep entertained and sexed (I am making up words, it's late , I am tired, but I can't sleep ). It seems to me also that the world with a big predominance of AS would be OK, we are not afraid to do physical jobs, we are not idiots either. So it's all good. And I didn't notice in AS such horrible morals like in NT's, AS use less "games" and more honesty, we definitely need those more and more in this f...ed up world. So I forgot what point I was trying to make...anyway, I pray that if I have one more child it will be close to what I am, so I can take care of them. Myself and my daughter might seem depressed outside, under stressful useless life conditions, but in reality we are happy all the time when feeling safe, with people we trust. I am sorry if I am scattered brained, I have exam tomorrow and I don't know how to sleep, I know I need it.

And by the way, I don't feel "degenerated" at all because I am in the small percentage that is labeled "AUTISTIC"...someone used that word. I think that I am actually pretty "generated"...

The more I know I was right to look into insemination, because living with an NT(cooperating in raising a child) will be murder for me...


Yeah to bigbang!! ! Good attitude.

Game theory? Okay. So a set simulation with parameters and limitations set by the designers of the model showed that those who followed that predetermined set of instructions co-operatively did so more successfully than those who did it competitively.

Wow, that's exactly like the real world.

Now, we seem to be getting mixed up here.

My prospects for ever becomming a dad are just as grim as Mw99's, but all of society's attempts to push me out of the gene pool just inspire me to push back! If you see the world as hostile to you and "your kind", then it's the world that's unfit for you, not the other way around.

Therefore, if I ever do have kids, I'll raise them under the philosophy of enabling them to do as much damage as possible to the NT world. That may sound hostile, but it really just means not letting society use them as a doormat or accepting the crap around them as "what should be".

Hey, spite against the world is a nobler reason to have kids than a broken condom...

I don't think that you guys would care about what I will say, but how about if we define depression again ? I still stick to my idea that AS "are" depressed because of isolation. I saw REAL depression in the Psych Unit, that was very bad...maybe depression is used too lax here...

Do you like your life without kids? Not good enough, You gotta LOVE your life so you have somewhere to rollback to

Can you get a good partner ?

Some of you don't seem fit at all to have kids, you lack...everything; you just wont last.

Regarding the suffering and isolation that I know many aspies have had to endure, I think there is more hope for the young.

My grandchildren are being counselled at the Tony Attwood clinic. They are learning what makes them different to the general population and how to cope. They were both diagnosed because of their 'strange' behaviour and their terrible unhappiness.

I saw my eldest grandson the other day after an absence of a few weeks. His face had changed so much and I couldn't figure what the change was. My daughter told me - happiness!

Regarding parenting: most parenting is learnt 'on the job'. Good parents have to change and develop and learn new skills. From what I have seen on this board, aspies mature as they meet new challenges. We all learn to do what we have to do.

Regarding role models: OMG! What a terrible role model I was! But luckily we practise on babies first, and by the time the kids get older we are older too.

Parenting is the hardest thing we do, and at times we feel like terrible failures. But we can only do the best we can.

I say that if you want to have children, go for it. I cannot imagine being without my grandchildren!

I doubt that the OP is even on the Spectrum. I've read his profile, and it read, "Not sure if I have it, or not." I guess that explains a lot, right there.

I've also gone to bed, right after a Meltdown that I've had, on this thread. I've had a rather spooky dream of Routemasters, Spitfires and Costermongers, all rolled up in one. That, with the Swinging 60s added into the mix.

do not forget folks each one of these posts go off to a search engine and are published on subject lists. I find it highly irresponsonsible of this forum to not ban that guy -evilmonkey and lock out that topic. No forum should have a contoversy subject. I run 35 forums http:***************m.net to gaming ones.
i am an aspie dad w/an aspie son. to evilmonkey why dont you get your testicles cut off for ignorance. Because people like you shouldnt breed.

to admins here- this was published in google and emailed to me. please be more responsible with your site. it shoulda been deleted by an admin or mod asap. with a stickey aplology. lock this thred out ! !!

Don't forget...the idiots are breeding. A lot. Fight the coming generational wave of stupid.

When I had children, I didn't know I had AS. I actually didn't find out until 2 of them were grown and in college. My kids are wonderful, wonderful people and I'm very thankful I have them. I know I wasn't the best mom in the world but I, by far, was not the worst. I never abused my children, I didn't neglect them nor did they or do they suffer as a result of my bringing them into the world.

Just because someone has AS or is autistic doesn't mean their children will have it. Sure there are chances but it's not 100% gauranteed. I wonder about one of my children but even that one is not suffering.

If Aspies shouldn't have children then neither should 3/4 of the people in this world. Millions of people have issues that are much worse then what an Aspie has. So should someone confined to a wheelchair not have kids? Should someone above a certain age not have kids? Should the deaf not have kids? Oh, what about the millions of people who come from abusive homes? I mean, if you're going to question whether or not an Aspie should have children or not, then it's only fair to question everyone in the world.

As for my kids, I have one in college and one who is in medical school. The school he goes to has invested $60,000 a year in him. He's going for his MD and PhD at the same time and is studying to be a Neurosurgeon and is also involved in cancer research. He's nice looking too. He must have got the intelligence of an Aspie but not the syndrome.

If I had known I had AS way back then, I may have opted to not have children but what a shame that would have been. Now I'm glad I didn't know because of the great people they are turning out to be. If an Aspie wants to have children they have every right.

1) Why would you want to bring kids to this world to suffer the way you suffered? I don't think I suffered. Not knowing I had AS made life harder I think, but I didn't suffer. If I would have known, maybe it would have been easier but I don't know. As a child, I doubt it but as an adult, probably.

2) Why would you want to degenerate the human gene pool even further? I didn't, obviously. If nothing else, I made it better and so can others.

3) Given my neuropsychological condition, am I really fit to raise a child? That's up to you to decide. If you feel your neuropsychological condition isn't sufficient enough to raise children then don't, that's your choice. Why make someone else question it though just because you can't handle it.

4) Given all my flaws and defects, what example will I give my children? You may show them that not everyone is perfect. Given all your flaws and defects you can show children you can't let that stop you from doing your best.

You are a special person, NANNA! I like your name, Nanna, I wish I would still have a Nanna in my life... I lost my own Mother in 2001 and my second mom last year, my ex-mother-in-law, I was divorced from her son in terrible circumstances, but we loved each other, to the dismay of her family. She was a good woman and I loved her. She was the one I could tell first time about being abused, raped etc. things that I never told my own parents. She helped me go thru difficult times and I made sure I was close to her when she was scared before she died. She taught me how to cook and many other things, my mother couldn't, I don't blame her, she was in her own world and she didn't want to be taken out of it...
You are compassionate and mature. Everything you said reflects that you are a beautiful person. G-d bless your parents!! ! And lucky your kids and grandkids to have you!! !
I want to say something about having children. Some people don't seem to understand that they are gifts from G-d, meant for us like a lease, more than a possession (or creation!! !), sorry for the comparison with a car. I had my daughter unplanned, but it was the very best thing that ever happened to me. By raising her I raised myself and came to heal from abuse, ending the cycle of abuse also in the process and I know that the best is yet to come (she is only 10 now). She seems very happy and despite the difficulties that we have, I think that she will not be depressed when she will grow up.
One other thing, if people would only plan their pregnancies, our species would be extinct by now... I truly belive that. So I would say, for the people with Asperger, go ahead and have a kid or two, you'll do just fine.
Thank you, Nanna!! !
Love, Elena.

OK, I have to post again, I see a lot of controversy on this subject and even rough language. We should treat each other kinder here, I think...
I have an example of what good an influx of aspie did in my country. Romania was Communist and along with the Communism (I should not even use capital letters when I name it), so along with the Communism came the extinction of intellectuals in my country. After the WWR II. The Russian's idea of "smart" was to kill or exile all the Professors for example, because they knew that academic enlinghtment meant power for the poor (Communist, right after the WWR II, wanted to dominate, without thinking that ignorance is also the most dangerous thing, that would bring a society to it's knees...think about what's happening now everywhere...) . So what did nature have to do? My Dad was a simple boy from a little village, born from two simple peasants with a max. second grade education. But my Dad was able to attend school in the village, was sent later to highschool and he was admitted first on the list to The Mathematics Institute (and finished first, also). How do you think he could do that? Because he had people available to teach him? No. It is only because he was born with the brilliant capacity to "know" Math different than "regular" people. Once he was given the tools (like in elementary school, probably, numbers, what you can do with them, reading, so he could read on his own the books that the Communists forgot to burn), his mind figured out the rest, he still to this day entertaines himself everyday with hours of Math exercises and weird stuff that mathematicians do. He wakes up really early in the morning and studies etc. If it would not have been for people like him, my country would have been like a new cave era, without anybody to teach the new generations after the Russian decimation of human values, which included the exile of most Professors at the Universities. So thank G-d my Dad was born autistic and brillian in Math, he went on becoming an excellent Math Professor and taught at least 40 years to future engineers, Math teachers, mathematicians etc. He still does. I think that maybe we need a strong influx of people with strong interest in subjects that "bore" most regular people.
About the fact that autistic people are regarded as such a pain in the butt (excuse the word), I myself I am sick of what I am expected to perform in regular world...like instead of being asked to have flawless social skills (which mean entertaining discussions about underware or Couch purses with co-workers ), why am I not valued for the respect and compassion I have for my co-workers and patients and people in general? And for my qualities? I never tell the NT's that they bore me with endless discussions about...nothing, because I hear nothing when it's something vain like hair care or fashion. I just sit there and listen patiently...so I am not asking NT's to listen to me when I rant about myself (which I do, even at this moment and I appologize if I bore you to death), but I am asking for some understanding and not be expected to act NT even at work, as long as I am doing a good job. For example, the vast majority of people interpret lack of eye contact as an insult...but I just can't look in just anybody's eyes, it freaks me out. Or when someone is being agressive, I am not going to sit there untill I have a melt down and become agressive myself, so I turn around and leave and that's considered an insult also. I think that NT's and AS should come half way to meet each other as expectation go. And I am very optimistic to see that great progress is being made, there is more and more awareness about autism, at least it is not considered as being ret*d anymore.
OK, I'll shut up.
Good luck everybody in having children, they are a blessing!! !
I am dissapointed in some people's view on AS having children, but everybody has a right to their own opinion.