I mostly dig into work and interviews by people like Mark Stavish, John Michael Greer, Josephine McCarthy, Jake Stratton Kent (RIP), and for academia I like what John Vervaeke's been doing with relevance realization and how he's tackling Platonism. I also had five years in AMORC and BOTA, a few years in OTO but mostly to check it out and I decided not to get my first degree there because for as much as I liked the people there I didn't want to wed myself to the organization (AMORC I got to 9th degree, BOTA I got to Sound and Color).
For kundalini - which I've had that activity for twelve years - I'm really just starting to think it's a neurological phenomena from the standpoint that I will feel it in my lower back regularly and IMHO it doesn't necessarily lead to psychism or anything like that. It's sexual energy, it makes sense that the base of our spines would be potent since the most important part of us (why Darwinian evolution has us here) is down there and it works even if one's connection between the brain and lower lumbar is disrupted by spinal injury.
The other problem - it's almost impossible to figure out if a signal is coming from any other place than your own head (unless it actually does things in the physical world). I say that because not only are most if not all of our inner voices introjects / complexes but it gets worse. Adeptus Psychonautica on Youtube had a month of testing DMT vapes so he smoked small to large amounts of DMT every day for a month and having that much opportunity he was able to slow-approach breakthrough and see that it's the process of previously unitary self fissioning into all kinds of separate instances of consciousness (the way he put it - some knew he had smoked, others didn't), and these personalities made up the other characters and landscape of the experience - meaning DMT is pretty much like dreaming but the key difference is with DMT you can see the fissioning of consciousness happening whereas with dreams you won't find yourself in a dream until you're in the thick of the story board which means you don't see how the dream is created. What's hard about this - you can actually have an experience of something or someone looking at you in second-person regard from within, it's an incredibly surprising experience when that happens, and it's STILL not evidence of anything external necessarily. In that sense I'm increasingly of the Sam Harris mindset regarding DMT.
Based on that I still have my morning meditation practices (more energy movement than zeroing out), I do it with the satisfaction that meditating on my body is probably good for my nervous system connections and bioelectric framework (thinking of Michael Levin's recent edification of that system from experimental biology) and if doing lesser orbit in there does something nice for me great - if not I'm only 'wasting' 15 minutes a day which is good enough at long last it turns out that I'm only rebelling against materialism dominance (like thinking I have an obligation to chase tail, mug my way to the top of anything for status, etc. as if to fail to do these things is failing outright - that's a train of outside world logic that I feel my integrity being accused by with some regularity - that you can either be cutthroat competitive or an absolute failure and little between, especially if 'this' is all there is in a non-existence sandwich) without any significant physical benefit or if there's no such thing as a spiritual benefit.
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The loneliest part of life: it's not just that no one is on your cloud, few can even see your cloud.
13 Oct 2024, 1:06 pm
